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Now why didn't I think of that...

Hey, if nothing else, the Internet is useful for recycling jokes. Because there's always *someone* who hasn't seen it. The corollary to Barnum's "There's a sucker born every minute."

Subject: FW: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tool s in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

H/t, Tom W.

3 Comments

I have nothing witty, interesting, or remotely intelligent to say except a heartfelt "thank you" for brightening a hot, hazy, and humid Friday in Toronto, Canada. Thank God for A/C in the old igloo or it would be a really crummy Friday. Veritas et Fidelis Semper
 
Hey, one of the many services we provide here at Castle Argghhh!
 
I am not fun when pushed down stairs. I am a bleeder. I'll ruin your carpet. But I crunch under boots well apparently. Go figure. :)
 
© 2008 John Donovan
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