The death notifications this week have been falling like a badly-aimed mortar barrage - almost randomly, yet damn close.
Several in our little milblog world have been singed by close impacts. or heard the whizz of jagged metal as it zings by, overhead. I sent this note to one of them.
I know how it feels.
And the sense of helplessness that goes with it.
Heh. In the day, whenever I heard civilians talk about how easy military families have it, I just remember those days in 1968-9 and mutter in my little lizard brain, "F**k you, you clueless 'tard."
Cops and firemen's families deal with this, too, of course.
But it just sucks to sit and wait. Especially when there's a spate of notifications. The movie We Were Soldiers came close to catching what it's like to be in the unit family when casualties hit. But only close.
I found out when I did my career - in many respects, it's easier to be the one deployed, because, if nothing else, you have the illusion of more control.
Like I said on the blog - hug the kids, they're better'n margaritas, anyway.
Mom and I used to sit in her bed and watch the 10 O'clock news and then Johnny Carson (well, I got to watch the first half-hour if it was a school night).
I know there's not much we can do from this remove - but if there is... let us know, 'k?
Cheers,
John
I'm not posting this to show what a sensitive guy I am. Quite the contrary.
I have a naked political reason for doing so. And a rather specific audience in mind.
And in this regard, I am *not* a chickenhawk. I've been here, done this - and gotten the telegram. And I *know* how that telegram changed my family (and that was only a wounding, not a death). Yet I went ahead and did it to my mother, at least without the telegram.
But however painful this is for military families - we did know it went with the territory.
And it really sucks for those who lose the game of chance that is the combat calculus.
But the pain of the families is *not* a reason to quit. Because if that were the case, then we should never start.
Any more than the loss of a fireman is reason to pull back from fighting fires.
Or the death of a cop to stop enforcement of the laws.
Passion and emotion make for awful policy, however good a movie they may make.
Certainly, assessments are in order. And one can change policy to prevent reckless carnage.
But the mere fact that military families are in pain, well, that, in and of itself, isn't a good enough reason for stopping. That requires a more sober assessment. Of ends and means. Long term goals, vice short term costs.
And it isn't always easy. But don't let your passion, or, rather, compassion, rule policy decisions.
Inform them, certainly. Be determinants? No.
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