Poor guy's starved for attention. Nobody ever tells Artillerist jokes.

Ummmm. Until now.

At a busy bus stop in a crowded city, a lovely young lass wearing a tight miniskirt was waiting for the bus.

The bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, and she suddenly became acutely aware that her skirt was entirely too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.

Slightly embarrassed -- and with a quick smile to the bus driver -- she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a bit more, and assayed the step a second time. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a wan smile to the driver, she reached behind yet a third time to unzip a little more -- and again was unable to take the step. Without a single word, the artilleryman in dress blues who had been standing behind her picked her up by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic. She turned to her benefactor and yelled, "How *dare* you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The redleg blinked and said, "Well, miss, normally I’d agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I sorta figured we were friends.”

There ya go Big Fella -- feel better now?

A doff of the tin derby to V29 (who completely forgot he sent it, by now...)