...nor do I play one on TV. But I find the following joke (told in V29's inimitable style) downright chucklesome:
Four lawyers in a law firm lived for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city.It wasn't quite the same without him. Then, a new lawyer joined their law firm. A woman.
One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"
The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say “Yes,” but she had them on the spot. Finally, one of them said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early, at 6:30 am.
He figured the early tee-time would discourage her immediately. The woman said this might be a problem, and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said this would be okay.
She smiled, and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up at 6:30 on the dot and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed! Back in the clubhouse, they congratulated her and happily invited her to play again the following week.
She smiled, and said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45." The next week, she showed up at 6:30, but she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left- handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be purposely showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!
In the third week, they all had their game faces on -- but she was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally, she showed up. This week, she played right-handed and narrowly beat all three of them. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to hold a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!
Back in the clubhouse, she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple of beers at the 19th hole, which helped the conversation loosen up. Finally, one of the men could contain his curiosity any longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"
The lady blushed, and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth. Then, when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his thingie was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.
All the guys on the team thought this was hysterical." Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"
She said, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late.
The premise is kinda far-fetched, though.
Not that the notion of a good-looking, ambidexterous, female lawyer with a dynamite personality who plays pro-grade golf is all that odd -- but a *punctual* female??? C'mon...
Heh. If I'd posted that during the week, the SB Brigade would'a shredded me...
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