Comments for Um, sweetheart? Honeybunch? Sweetiekins?

Um, sweetheart? Honeybunch? Sweetiekins?

2006-07-28T01:45:08Z

Can I put this in the living room?

A fine product from Ford.

The Fire Control Computer.

Pretty please?

Comment from Barb on 2006-07-30

2006-07-30T16:39:42Z

Mythilt - At least he can't stab himself with it. Besides, Beth is one of the few wives who would probably *not* say that!!

Comment from Mythilt on 2006-07-29

2006-07-29T19:34:06Z

Simple answer..."No, you will shoot your eye out." (Can't believe no one thought of that response.)

Comment from Blackhawk on 2006-07-29

2006-07-29T18:41:08Z

Hmm...don't think the Mrs. will approve? How about a different approach... From the galley: "Honey, look: a new kitchen! Now we can sling hash for 50!" Is there a briefing room? "Look: a new living room with lots of seating!" Capt Quarters: "A new guest bedroom!" Intercom system: "Now we can talk to each other anywhere in the house!" Is there a steam horn? "Our own tornado siren!" Compass, sextant, little things: "Look: accessories!" Don't give up just yet...there are possibilities to explore!

Comment from Justthisguy on 2006-07-29

2006-07-29T17:49:22Z

Oh MAN is it an analog computer! It has ball-and-disc integrators, and differential gears, and three-dimensional cams, etc, out the wazoo, usw! Gene Slover (an old Fire Controlman) has a Web site with copies of some of the original Navy training literature, including some of the math. Even dumbed-down a bit for sailors, said math still made my brain hurt when I tried to follow it. "Oh yeah," (thinks me) "angles don't add like vectors, and maybe if I drew it..."

Comment from Casey Tompkins on 2006-07-29

2006-07-29T07:12:07Z

So then, John (D. or S., either way): just to ask a dumb question, this is an analog computer, yes? Also, did the destroyers use these computers when executing fire support for invasions, such as the Emmons at Normandy? Or was that direct fire? Magnificent history you don't normally get to see.

Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T23:54:10Z

What John S. said. The three ton weight, as Trias notes, is also rather a problem. Besides, Ward told me I can't have it, and the one on the Gearing next to the Rodgers has been looted for the other Gearing still in service. Sigh. Then there's the prime tourist time weight embargo on the luggage, too.

Comment from Trias on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T22:27:31Z

I suspect it will be *really* heavy so one would need much trust in the builder for an upstairs job. One also suspects turning it on the side will break it.

Comment from John S. on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T22:25:54Z

These were NOT brought in thru the watertight doors, but installed during construction. To replace one, you cut an 8 foot by 10 foot hole in the side of the ship, and remove the interior bulkheads and equipment in the way. Then the cranes and riggers magically move heavy things in impossible directions and your computer is where it belongs. Assemble rest of ship parts back where they were. Figure about 2 weeks minimum.... at least that's how long it wook when we changed out ours on DD-844 in 1967.

Comment from ry on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T18:31:46Z

Hey, couldn't we fit that in the garage? Right next to the Lawn Tractor de Argghhh!. A few additions and it's a bar for the garage. Nope, I don't have a valid CDL anymore so I can't do it on a flatbed(plus I can't see for chit anymore). Maybe Brab could do it?

Comment from KCSteve on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T17:35:25Z

I don't know John. It just doesn't look like a Living Room accessory to me. More like something for your den, if you have one. If not it seems like the perfect excuse to add a den just so you have a place to put it. Hmmm... maybe an 'upstairs' addition so you can add some other goodies to go along with the fire controller...

Comment from cw4(ret)billt on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T17:11:13Z

They got it *in* there through watertight doors narrower than household standard and it can go *out* through those same doors--and fit through a household standard. One. Piece. At. A. Time.

Comment from Ryan Gill on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T15:19:40Z

If you've got a sliding glass door, they' go in nicely. I suspect you can probably turn the fire control comuter on it's side too.

Comment from AFSister on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T13:03:52Z

BS... that's a trademark for women, you know. We have the "hmphf" look down pat.

Comment from BloodSpite on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T12:34:43Z

My Glorious Bride 2.0 (tm) has developed a unique method of letting me down. She looks at me with this perfect imitation of a thousand yard stare, makes a cross between a grunt and a snicker sound and walks off.

Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T12:27:50Z

Snerk! C'mon fellas, do/did your SO's let you down that gently, or did they just shriek "No, you flaming idiot!" and the discussion ended there? Of course, if we ever *do* a remodel that opens an outside wall of the house...

Comment from BloodSpite on 2006-07-28

2006-07-28T05:17:52Z

A *ahem* test firing for range accuracy will fix the door problem :)

Comment from Trias on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T03:50:20Z

Do you honestly think a door problem will stop him?

Comment from Beth on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T03:27:11Z

Aw, Sweetheart, it won't fit through the door. Too bad!

Comment from cw4(ret)billt on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T02:36:55Z

Yeah, but how accurate is it with punt guns?

Comment from John S. on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T02:18:57Z

This is the Mark IA fire control computer used in all the WW2 DDs. The Mark 1A is the size of a large desk and uses a horizontal reference from the stable element, and compass direction and ship's heading from the gyrocompass, and speed from the pit log. Fire Controlmen (no not the guys with funny hats and hoses) manually add in other info like target range and bearing from the fire control radar/optical rangefinder, and target course and speed (or derive it from successive range and bearing inputs). Then the truck load of mechanical gears and analog gizmos concealed in the computer begin to twirl and dance and make other dials and needles spin until they are "plot set" with the fire control solution. The computer generates the correct train and elevation setting for the gun mounts, and time of flight for setting the fuzes. And, it conctantly updates those as the target and the firing ship maneuver. Ah, for the smell and glow of 15 pounds of SPDN powder pushing 54 pounds of love into the sunset at 2600 feet per second. Arrggghhh! Report when on station ready for call for fire!

Comment from Trias on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T02:17:44Z

Wow a precursor like the old decoders. That's worth it alone.

Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T02:02:19Z

This is a mechanical computer, Trias. More in common with Babbage's Difference Engine than what's on your desk.

Comment from Trias on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T01:57:53Z

Good gracious you can probably see the capacitors in those little windows. Didn't someone once say never trust a computer you can't chuck out the window?

Comment from Neffi on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T01:49:15Z

LOVE THE CRANK!! Reminds me of the M13 ballistic computer on the M60A1... hey, it worked, OK?! Get some, GunBunny! heh

Comment from Old Fat Sailor on 2006-07-27

2006-07-28T01:48:06Z

Whats the Mark? I don't think its a 56, 33 maybe? Ah for the days of tangent cams and vacume tubes