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Tagged. Gollum Style.

Dang it. Why did Trias tag me with this ‘what do you’ thing? You’se a cruel man Trias. Posting it here because Kat’s Place (middleground) is so serious, unlike Argghhh!

1) What scares me:
a) Losing my physical faculties, which I’m already starting to do.
b) Losing my mental faculties (I know what you’re thinking, but no, not yet.).
c) The idea that the inmates are running the asylum the world over.
2) People who make me laugh:
a) Pro-comedians(Bill Cosby, Billy Connley, Gabriel Iglesias)
b) People who do the same crap over and over with the expectation of a different result.
c) Myself. When you do as much stupid chit as I have you have to laugh.
d) My wife, Jess. How anyone so smart and so sophisticated can be so into silly stuff like Pokemon and the anime Fushigi Yugi just astounds the heck outta me.
3) Things I hate the most:
a) Elitism. This is the fastest way to piss me off in the world. That means much of the political left (since they seem to be so smug in believing that they are morally superior in just about every instance while those of us who disagree just aren’t capable of understanding their ideas.) and many comedians have lost me from the word go.
b) That I wasted 15 years of my life studying the wrong subject. Your vocation and avocation should be matched horses. Mine ain’t.
c) When my uber-liberal in-laws meddle or get ‘that look’ when I take a stand contrary to theirs. You aren’t my parents and life would be so much simpler if you understood that and acted that way.
4) Things I don’t understand:
(I don’t think there are enough slots to list that which I don’t understand, so I’ll just go with the top four.)
a) Willful ignorance.
b) Braniacs who have nothing but contempt physical activity and jocks.
c) Elitism.
d) The Church of Oprah.
5) Things I’m doing right now:
a) Thinking about whether the fuel budget can handle me driving up to Fowler to visit the VFW they have there.
b) Thinking about how to turn something The Armorer sent me last night into a meaningful blog post (impossible mission).
c) How I’m going to get my professional life re-tracked and how I’m going to get my grubby little hands on the materials (books, lectures, and ultimately some kind of certification) and the money to do so.
6) Things I want to do before I die.
a) Make Jess really happy for a really long time.
b) Be the son my Mom and Grandmother and Mrs. E raised me to be. Not there yet.
c) I should want to be more than a good husband, a good man, and a good son?
7) Things I can do:
a) Drive really long distances in a single sitting.
b) Distil hexane like there’s no tomorrow.
c) Know the direction of the four points of the compass even at night. Decent skill to have.
8) Ways to describe my personality:
a) Vitreous.
b) Immature.
c) Misanthropic.
9) Things I can’t do.
a) Convince my Wife to learn to drive.
b) Convince my Wife that firearms are not themselves inherently evil.
c) Convince my In-Laws that I really do know what I’m doing more than a quarter of the time, and that they should leave Jess and I the hell alone.
10) Things I think people should listen to:
a) Bill Cosby’s comedy album ‘Bill Cosby: Himself’
b) “Amazing Grace” played on the bag pipes at least once in their lifetime.
c) Yourself. You usually know what’s best for you.
d) Detractors. Sometimes they’ve got a point.
11) Things you should never listen to:
a) Grievance Mongers. They don’t want justice. They’re just narcissistic jerks who only want power for the sake of power.
b) Communists/revolutionaries. See above.
c) Guidance councilors. They may mean well, but these people usually haven’t a clue.
12) Favorite foods:
a) Pizza with chicken, Alfredo sauce, green onions, garlic, and a mix of mozzarella and other soft, white cheeses.
b) Coke-a-Cola.
c) Apple Fritters with milk. Easiest way to pacify me is to plop that down.
13) Things I’d like to learn:
a) Chinese, Korean, and get my Japanese back up to par.
b) How to do literature searches well. Seems more like an art than a science, and I’m not that artistic (with apologies to JTG. Autistic? Yes. Artistic? No.)
c) The true meaning of Grace.
14) Things I normally drink:
a) Filtered water.
b) Milk (2%, can’t stand 1% and non-fat. Blech.).
c) Coke, sometimes with lemons or cherry flavoring, and typically straight, right out of the refrigerator out of the can. Ice waters it down and drives off the carbonation. Ick.
15) Shows I watched as a kid (I watched a lot of tv, are we only allowed three?).
a) Popeye the Sailor, right before and right after Mass on KTLA channel 5 with Chris van Patton as the host.
b) KTLA channel 5’s weekend movies, hosted by Chris van Patton. Typically was either a war movie (like Tora! Tora! Tora!, Midway, or Battle of the Bulge) or the Godzilla movies of the 60’s and 70’s (Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster, Destroy All Mosters, stuff like that). Did sit thru Dr. Zhivago, once. Not easy for an 8 year old.
c) Robotech and Voltron on channel 13(3:30 and 4:00. Right before Mom would get home from working at Target in the inventory department(the docks)).
16) People I’m tagging with this?
Nobody. We’ve emberassed enough people for the week with this, doncha think?

12 Comments

Mwahahaha. [Sticks pinky in mouth]. Speaking of Kat's place post something. It's getting cobwebs. My magik powas reveal some minor inlaw issues....
 
Minor? Trias, are you known for understatement? Try brink of nuclear war. Seriously. The needling and other bullus chitus got so bad over a period of 2 hours that I had to walk out of Jess' grandparents 50th wedding anniversary party to keep myself from loudly going off on my father-in-law. These people don't play fair, ever. they don't believe anyone else but them ever knows what's right for anyone and in particular for their daughter. My gawd, when Jess told them I was working for the republican party here in Indiana back in '04 Jess' mother told Jess to throw me out of the house before I beat her, forced her to quit her career, and made her live barefoot and preggers because she heard Cameron Diaz lay it all on the line on Oprah. I kid you not. Of course, she played the proper victim when I called her on that bullus chitus. CC'd an email containing what I said to the entire family while asking an old friend of mine(Mrs.E, my hs English teacher actually) asking if I was prone to moments of violence and instability. I kid you not. It takes a severe act of will not to break a finger waved not more than 1/2" from my face during a 2hr lecture by Jess' father that my own Mother would never deign to give me. My temper is begining to wear thin with these people. Know what I'm sayin'? Don't even ask what they said when Jess told them that The Armorer wanted to take them to a shooting range as a family and friends outing(they hates you John. Hatessssss. They think you're an evil influence who eggs me on in my violent and evil ways.). And they wonder why I don't want to visit every Christmas, Spring Break, and summer vacation. "It's getting cobwebs." I'm working on it. There's an idea running around in my head, but I'm rather hesitant to write anything substantive. I took a nasty criticism hit when visiting my friend Least Weasel last weekend. He told me I didn't know chit and it showed(particularly wrt information operations)----himself a Ranger and Army Reserve vet who typically likes positive press for the military. So I'm a bit hesitant to do anything right now. I'm tempted to loan a spare 'puter Jess and I have to Kat, but I don't really have the means to get it to her.
 
What? Highly evolved West Coast Liberals hate me based on stereotypes and no real personal knowledge? No! Really, bring 'em out here, we'll turn them to the dark side.
 
Ry - It would be fun to have a Denizens love-fest at the range for your in-laws. We won't even make them stand in for Barney. By the by - BCR and I finally got to meet Francis Marion today at the Bulls Eye -- Neener, Neener!
 
Hey Barb, that's great! Did you tell him that he really missed out though? I mean, he didn't get to meet me. I feel bad. Ry - Jess must really be something! Since I approach romance as a buffet....I skip the ones with any sort of baggage. Jess must be quite the catch for you to deal with in-laws like that. I wouldn't know of course since I strive not to be the girl you take home to meet the parents, lol.
 
Hey, Ry, you married into that family; your choice, you being presumably a grownup qualified to make decisions like that. How would you feel if your own only genetic brother stormed into yer house when you weren't present, grabbed and stole all important records, threw out or stole all of your childhood memorabilia, and then sued you for being insufficiently competent as a trustee of your parents' estate? That's what my *EX*- brother did to me!
 
Umm, that should be, "a lot of your childhood memorabilia" He did forget to destroy/discard some things.
 
JTG. Yeah. I hears 'ya. One of these days I'll have to buy you case of beer(I'll stick to rootbeer or coke) so we can compare brotherly induced scars and broken bones and grief and other misc. trauma(none of mine is legal, but there is a lot of it.). Hell, I'd buy you a case of beer just to meet a decent Southron(not knowing too many. ;) ). But, in my defense, before we were married they didn't act like this, there were no hints of this. Before my PhD path started going south they didn't act like this. Both coincided with Jess and I moving 2000 miles away. Then it started and cranked itself up to what we have today. But, like Maggs says, Jess is special. She's worth all this and more. There's precious few things I'd kill man or beast for---but Jess most definitely is one, the highest on the priority list. It just gets rather annoying and beyond annoying. I could live with it without complaint if they didn't fly false colours and then hoist the jolly roger. At that point my sense of fairness nerve gets trod on a bit hard and my temper flares(have I mentioned I'm of Irish extraction?). But, I feel for 'ya JTG. I wouldn't wish that for anyone. Maggs, "I wouldn't know of course since I strive not to be the girl you take home to meet the parents, lol." Heh. Any woman who teaches Cathecism can't be THAT bad. Baggage. Well, everyone always has something. Always. And learning to live with it is a sign of maturity. Or didn't you watch Chasing Amy? Brab, "Ry - It would be fun to have a Denizens love-fest at the range for your in-laws. We won't even make them stand in for Barney." Lake Osweego isn't that far from Seattle, but Indiana sure is. "What? Highly evolved West Coast Liberals hate me based on stereotypes and no real personal knowledge? No! Really, bring 'em out here, we'll turn them to the dark side." Sigh. What're trying to do? Make me life worse? I'm not going to subject Jess to that because it'll turn into a real hatefest storm of emails and phone calls. Sorry Boss. Not happening. You're a lovable fuzzball and all, but I really don't need the grief of getting nasty phone calls and emails or Jess getting emails and phone calls from her Parentals demanding that we get divorced(again!). Besides, the last time MIL came east she emberassed the hell out of me by insulting the waitress at me and Jess's favorite eatery(Logans Road House) by essentially calling the nice girl a hick. I'm just happy leaving them in their neuvo riche semi-retirement and calling it a quiet, peaceful, uneventful day that won't come back to haunt me some day when I get called into some sort of family councilling thing with them in the near future(did I mention my FIL is a psychiatrist?).(Jess on the otherhand, wrt her attitudes about weaponry, is a WHOLE other story. ;) ) ANd I haven't heard back from KAt yet. Any chance we could get SWWBO to let Kat(she's kinda local for you guys right?) know there's the potential of a loaner 'puter?
 
ry, I hears you too. My mil thinks I am a spoiled rich brat from CA who somehow tricked her darling into marrying me and goes around saying it to anyone who will listen. We have been married for 20 plus years, have gone through hell and back together, despited dire predictions that we would be divorced within three years. Uh huh. You did the right thing in moving away from that and believe me, there are some parents who don't know how to let go. But they did something right...they had her and so you deal with it. Sometime we should just kavetch about our inlaws. Hang in there.
 
Heck, Ry, I suffer from/enjoy the Celtic timprahmint, m'self! Scotch-Irish on Mom's side (lots of Marine uncles) and, I'm afraid, rather Sassenach on Dad's side. (Cold-blooded strategic-bombing AF types) I do seem to have been reasonably fortunate in the genetic hand I was dealt; I got the Celtic sensibilites of Mom's family without the susceptibility to diseases (knocks wood) and the autistic tendencies of Dad's side without the Saxon nastiness. I think I'm a genuine mix of the Scots and Irish, as I have "the long, narrow head of the priest-ridden race" (extremely dolichocephalic) and the bad teeth of the people from the Big Island.
 
Okay, then we just have a Castle Blogmeet near them, without you, sit next to them at a nice restaurant, and talk about guns. Lots and lots of guns. Especially the gurls. We at least owe you spoiling their dinner...
 
JTG. You crack me up. I blame Saint Patrick. Yeah, I think I inherited the ability to reason(and un-reason) from my Gaelic background as well. Still pushing Denizen Solidarity are we, John? Leave them be. Just because they suck doesn't me we all have to try and emulate the suckitude. I've already got the last laugh: Jess chooses to be with me and not them. Nor am I the only Denizen with IL problems. There's someone else around here who would benefit from the innayouface to the ILs far more than I would. I'm with Cassie and Cricket on this: sometimes it's best just to soldier on mostly stolidly, and then complain about it while devouring mass quantities of choklit every three to four years(in Gollumese that's every three months).
 
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