Durnburned *chick* questions. Anyway, here are Three--

1. --things that scare me:
a. Having only one round left. Ummm—waitaminnit—I don’t have to worry about that anymore.
b. Flashbacks. Ummm—waitanotherminnit—now they’ve gone to just being Annoying.
c. Those sudden, gaping holes in the fabric of space on the bridge to Arkham...

2. --people who make me laugh:
a. AFSis in Were-Kitty mode.
b. Cricket in Cricket mode.
c. Cassandra in Flounce mode.
d. Neffi in Normal mode. Yeah, that’s four. Sue me.

3. --things I hate the most:
a. Walking three excited dogs along the towpath at night and startling a skunk.
b. Walking three excited dogs along the towpath during the day and startling a copperhead.
c. People whose idea of a meaningful dialogue consists of a lecture interspersed with, “You. Just. Don’t. Get. It.” Heh—there’s a *lot* of things I don’t get, Buttercup; you’re lucky that “pugnacious” isn’t one of them…

4. --things I don't understand:
a. Psychopaths.
b. Sociopaths.
c. People who think that a. and b. are “victims of a dysfunctional childhood” rather than “imbued with the souls of weasels.”

5. --things I'm doing right now:
a. Writing this answer.
b. Racking my brain for another answer.
c. Telling Jake to knock off barking at the wild turkey on the porch.

6. --things I want to do before I die:
a. Get *reeeal tight* with Sky Boss.
b. Figure out how to keep that %$#@! turkey off the porch.
c. Finish writing the book I started fifteen years ago (when the flashbacks went from Holy %$#@! to being merely Scary).

7. --things I can do:
a. Landscaping and waterscaping. Luckily, I heal fast--usually.
b. Build a house to code. Solo. Takes a while, though...
c. Write SOPs that look like they came straight from the Schoolhouse.

8. --ways to describe my personality:
a. Odd.
b. Really odd.
c. See a. and b.

9. --things I can't do:
a. Keep my 12-string guitar in tune for more than 12 minutes.
b. Get KtLW to stop giving me directions five seconds late; e.g., “According to the map that I’ve consistently refused to let you so much as glance at, you should have turned left at that road we're passing now.”
c. Wear a T-shirt outdoors.

10. --things I think you should listen to (because they’re what I hear the twenty-odd hours that I’m awake and, besides, I’m feeling ornery):
a. Love-struck cicadas.
b. Love-struck crickets.
c. A 15-decibel trench whistle backed up by an atonal 35Hz warble. And that probably provides some explaination for number 8.

11. --things you should never listen to:
a. Michael Bolton songs.
b. Barry Manilow songs.
c. The Voices underneath the basement stairs.

12. --absolute favorite foods (soooooo chickish!):
a. Coffee. *Good* coffee. Not that megachain-overpriced-dishwater.
b. Turkey, stuffed with a sausage, mushroom and pepperoni pizza—with extra cheese.
b. Mint chocolate chip ice cream.

13. --things I'd like to learn:
a. Why fluency in Spanish is suddenly a sine qua non for getting a job in the state of New Jersey.
b. How the Dems in North Jersey manage to get over five thousand dead people to the polls every election day without leaving crud trails all over.
c. Why DoD even bothers to go through the motions of BRAC.

14. --beverages I drink regularly:
a. Coffee. Black, no sugar. It’s the only thing I drink with any semblance of regularity.
b. Coffee. Black, with sugar. When I need the jolt.
c. River Horse Tripel Ale. When my normal stress management techniques go off visiting.

15. --shows I watched as a kid:
a. Death Valley Days.
b. Crusader Rabbit.
c. The Ernie Kovacs Show.

16. --people chicks I'm tagging (hey, it's a chick quiz, I got tagged by a chick and I don't get out much, okay?):
a. Brab (who needs the practice--yup, uh-huh, sure thing).
b. FbL (who needs the break).
c. BadCatRobot (who needs to finally admit she can't tolerate lima beans).