Hey! I'm not fat, I'm embonpoint!

By The Armorer on July 13, 2006 | | Comments (11)

Yeah - that's it!

I often disagree with John Derbyshire of National Review - but I'm with him on this one!

[Enter Husband from left. He has just taken a shower, and is wearing only a towel fixed round his waist.]

Wife [pointing at husband's fairly ample midriff]: What's that?

Husband: That? That's my embonpoint.

W: Your what?

H: Embonpoint. That's my embonpoint.

W: That's not a word.

H: Is so.

W: Well, it's not an English word.

H: If it's in the dictionary, it is. I bet it's in the dictionary.*

W: It's flab, that's what it is.

H: Embonpoint.

W: Flab. Gut. Beer belly. You should get rid of it.

H [feigning outrage]: Get rid of my embonpoint? Never!

W: Om bom pom, phooey. You give it fancy name, doesn't make it beautiful. It's flab. You need to exercise more.

H: No time. Too busy working to support my family.

W [scornfully]: Hah! You worked much harder when we first got married, but didn't have om bom pom. What happened to your six-pack?

H: It's there.

W: Where?

H: Under my embonpoint.

*Oh yeah it *is*... embonpoint.

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11 Comments

By AFSister on July 13, 2006 8:31 AM
I prefer to call it a Ballpark Frank... "they plump when you cook 'em".
 
By John of Argghhh! on July 13, 2006 8:33 AM
Um, are we referring to the same bit of anatomy...?
 
By Maggie on July 13, 2006 8:44 AM
John - Here in the gutter, my most frequent visitor is AFSis!
 
By AFSister on July 13, 2006 9:27 AM
hehe... just wanted to get your wheels turnin' this morning, John.
 
By Trias on July 13, 2006 9:35 AM
I was innocent once. Then I saw the Castle....
 
By J.M. Heinrichs on July 13, 2006 9:50 AM
Trias Don't mention No. 81! Cheers
 
By FbL on July 13, 2006 9:57 AM
Heh. Me too, Trias. Though I'm telling the truth. ;)
 
By Neffi on July 13, 2006 10:40 AM
That mysterious runic carving over the portcullis loosely translates as "Abandon All Prudishness, Ye Who Enter Here". And Trias... *definitely* avoid #82! Lioness- you were *innocent* all right... of the Reichstag fire, maybe ;)
 
By Were-Kitten on July 13, 2006 11:30 AM
mmmmmmmm..... #82.... mmmmmmmm mmmmmm......Shirtless (and pantless) Italian soccer honeys.... mmmmmmmmm I am *so* at home around the Castle.
 
By Cricket on July 13, 2006 11:49 AM
*sits down, puts feet up and gives drink order to the bedoodlewhoopies and scrupl's* I haven't been in the Castle Kitchen for a while, due to the demands of the CLUs for sustenance, amusement and learning, as well as that necessary institution, Scout Camp. But, now that the summer is nearly over, I promise to put a menu or two up with recipes for the Carnival...if I could ever figger out how they surf for recipes.
 
By Maggie on July 13, 2006 1:40 PM
Trias - innocent? I hardly think so.