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My Saturday is over...

...yours is just beginning. I'm gonna be lazy and do a few jokes and otherwise take the day off. All y'all have fun!

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - Two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...

So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof!- The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bassids should remember fairies are female.

[joe pesci voice] Okay, okay, okay - I gotta 'nother one [/joe pesci voice]

Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight, when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet. He asked the son about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one; they're very strong and very expensive". "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and I'll leave the money under your pillow as soon as I break this bill.

The next morning the son found $110.00 under
his pillow. The son said, "I told you each pill was
$10.00, not $110.00."

"I know," said Grandpa.
"The hundred is from Grandma."

I'll be in the house all week, thank you, thank you, thank you!

All right, all right, ya talked me into it.

Click here, take a look at the picture, and gimme a guess as to the cup size.

Made your guess? Good.

Now click here, and see how close you were.

2 Comments

That's old, it's a butt of some kid and I didn't even have to look at the other picture. In regards to other jokes, my addition... Three men die and go to heaven. While standing at the Pearly gates, St Peter tells them that they must answer one question truefully in order to enter. He reminds them that God is all knowing and knows the answer already. Further, that their answer will determine their mode of transportation while residing in heaven. Wings are earned and only given to a few. St Peter asks the first man, "How many times did you cheat on your wife." After a brief pause, the first man answers, "Two times." St Peter replies, "That is correct. Your mode of transportation is a VW Golf." *Poof* the man is gone. He asks the second man, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replies, "One time." St Peter replies, "That is correct. Your mode of transportation will be a Ford Taurus." *Poof* the man is gone. St Peter comes to the third and final man who is smiling broadly with pride, "And how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man answers proudly, "I never cheated on my wife!" St Peter replies, "that is correct. You will drive a mercedes benz." *Poof* the man is gone. One year later, all three men run into each other in Heaven. the third man is sobbing uncontrollably. The first man asks, "Why are you crying? Is it your car? You got a mercedes to drive and I'm stuck with this VW Golf." The third man replies, "You dont' understand, it's my wife." The second man, "Oh, did she die? So sorry to hear that but at least you'll be together again." The third man sobs even more, "Yes, she did die, but that's not the problem." Both of the other men are non-plused, "Then what is the problem?" The third man sniffles loudly, "I just saw her and she's on roller skates".
 
Huh. I no idea that "sippy cup" was a bra size. If so, I'm wearing a "Big Gulp" today. *wink*
 
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