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Heh. Sensing a conspiracy...

...someone, who didn't even submit an entry, whined about a female conspiracy regarding the caption contest. And in a deft bit of double-think sent this along as supporting evidence...

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc..........she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes. [Armorer's note - which proves God, at least in *this* universe, isn't a man]

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. [Isn't it like a woman to argue with God? ed] You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see.....where did I put the useless boob?" [Like a man wouldn't know the answer to *that* question. ed]

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?

13 Comments

*sigh* Stand by for the usual barrage of "God made man first because you always do a test run before the final product" jokes. Remind me to apologize for picking the apple and cajoling Eve to eat it, too...
 
It is ALWAYS the man's fault. No exceptions.
 
Ah, but there *are* exceptions. The San Andreas Fault belongs to Mama Gaia. Heh. And they snark *us* for being horndogs...
 
And if you would stop *mauling* Mother Gaia with tractors and rototillers and clogging her pores with parking lots there wouldn't BE earthquakes, you blind, organophobic MAN! All would be at peace, yea, even the tectonic plates would cease their restless, itchy motion. I'm quite sure of this.
 
Where could I get some tectonic flatware to match the tectonic plates?
 
Bill- Try Tectonics Barn. They usually have a pretty good selection. But if they don't have anything to your liking, you can always try Tectonics, Trivets and Beyond.
 
Oh, swell. I googled Tectonics, Trivets and Beyond and got Buzz Lightyear in a corduroy paisley spacesuit...
 
Bill said - "Remind me to apologize for picking the apple and cajoling Eve to eat it, too..." LOL, you are older than dirt!
 
He gave God the recipe for mud, too. Just ask him!
 
Yours truly is Number One and Number Two for I gave God the recipe for mud. I try...
 
Grumpf. I hate it when I paste extra code...
 
You forgot the http://, old man. I'll fix it.
 
You forgot the http://, old man. Didn't notice there was supposed to be a comma after the *http://*--but thanks for the fix. I'll do the same for you, sometime. Waitaminnit--I *have* done the same for you...
 
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