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8 out of 10. *grin*

And math was by far my worst subject. Fortunately, the last time I had to take a math class was in high school. :)

posted by Fuzzybear Lioness on March 4, 2006 3:14 PM

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I passed 8th grade math about 18 years ago. I've never been very good at math, and in fact failed the only calculus class I ever took. I thought I'd be embarassed by this test. 10/10, baby. Mind you, I'm pretty sure we did this stuff earlier than grade 8.

posted by anony mouse on March 4, 2006 3:39 PM

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9 of 10, but it doesn't tell you which or give you the corrected answer! I hate tests like that!

posted by Maggie on March 4, 2006 4:32 PM

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9/10 which is more than I got for grade 8 math.

posted by Alan on March 4, 2006 6:42 PM

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9/10. WOOT!
Like I told ALa.... somebody call my parents! QUICK! They'll never believe it.

posted by AFSister on March 4, 2006 8:35 PM

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10/10 ... and a good thing, too - or they'd have to take my degree back ;-)

posted by Barb on March 4, 2006 10:31 PM

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10 out of 10! Wot!

How do you get an A+ for 9/10 that's only 90%, barely an A!

posted by Digger on March 6, 2006 11:10 AM

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Without testing it - I'm guessing if you get 7 out of 10 or higher, you get the A+ graphic. 6 or less, you fail.

Kinda like modern education theory where *Everybody get's A's!* so they feel good about themselves... except that it actually *fails* people, too.

Heh.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 6, 2006 11:20 AM

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Heh...

posted by Cassandra on March 6, 2006 2:56 PM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

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You might not have got one wrong. I scored a 93%, but that doesn't turn out to be mathematically right, since 20/21= .95-something and 19/21= .90-something. I don't know if the site times your test, but don't beat yourself up over a test with some internal monkey math.

posted by Cowboy Blob on March 4, 2006 11:07 AM

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Plinker
You are 37% of a gun nut!

You're probably either a seasonal hunter or someone with a decent head knowledge of guns. Keep working at it, and you could really be a force to be reckoned with!

ROFL! I've never ever laid a hand on a gun!

posted by Fuzzybear Lioness on March 4, 2006 12:06 PM

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Yeah, but ya hang around here (which is safer than hanging around those dives down by the docks, btw), so obviously some stuff has seeped in.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 4, 2006 12:09 PM

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96% my own self- musta been that SA80 question... them thar modern gizmos ain't my cup o' tea. And way to go, Lioness- we'll have you corrup... er, I mean educated yet!

posted by Neffi on March 4, 2006 1:55 PM

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Depends. What was your answer to the SA80 question?

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 4, 2006 1:59 PM

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This test is a crock! Here are my results.

Plinker
You are 51% of a gun nut!

I have never refired a gun in my life. The only time I even had my hand on one was when I was making out with a State Trooper on our way into a restaurant. I doubt that counts. For every question with 3 possible answers, I picked the middle answer. The only questions that I was able to answer with confidence were the ones pertaining to my gender and date of birth.

posted by Maggie on March 4, 2006 2:14 PM

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I also got 96% and don't know where I went wrong. I thought maybe it was the M16 where I said gas tube. Could it be direct gas action is the answer they want? Or maybe it's metal detectors, where I said "none".

The correct answer to the SA80 is that you can't fire it left-handed or the cocking handle will hit your cheek.

As for the test being a crock, don't forget that a completely uninformed person taking a three-choice multiple-choice quiz would expect to average 33%. So 37% is not abnormal. 51% suggests you know a bit more than you think, probably from hanging around here. But it's still possible to score that high with random answers.

Where d'you think you went wrong, John? Or maybe you were right and the quiz-writer is wrong?

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 3:09 PM

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I'm not sure Owen - I put in the same answer you did for the SA80, and the M16 *is* a gas tube, direct impingement system.

All of those pistols are detecable by metal detectors.

And those are the answers the test writer was looking for. I went back, took it again with different answers, and go lower scores. For the nonce, I'm going with bollixed test.

On a whim, I registered with OKCupid (the source of the test) and am going to take a crack at it.

However, it's really an annoying "matching service" that, oddly enough, gets a little grumpy when you say you're married and not looking for anything... 8^)

(That sound is SWWBO scurrying to check up on me)

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 4, 2006 3:16 PM

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Haha, I know, I was wondering what a happily-married man like yourself was doing there:)
...though I realise it's just because you got the gun test link.

They wouldn't initially give me my results because I unchecked the box "looking for new friends".

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 3:39 PM

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Did you say the .40" was more effective than the 9mm? I guess that's a matter of opinion - depends what he means by effective.

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 3:49 PM

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Not only does it matter by how you define it, it also varies by bullet weight and powder load.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 4, 2006 4:08 PM

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mmmmm but I'll wager the correct answer was 'yes'. I remember when the .40 first came out and all the gun magazine writers were creaming themselves over it... those guys have to fill a magazine (the paper kind!) every month, so any new item gets headlines. Talk and talk and talk about which caliber is the superior 'man-stopper'... enuff to makes ya sick, I say- sick!
And nary a word about practicing your fast-draw and placing a quick double-tap into center mass; and how that makes the whole question moot so long as you're shooting at least a .380 with special ammo.
WHAT?! The charging handle on the SA80 reciprocates with the bolt?!!! What kinda shoddy engineering is that!!!!
OK, rant over. Go about yer binness...

posted by Neffi on March 4, 2006 6:24 PM

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I expect you're right Neffi. I remember that too. Everyone called it the 10mm back then and the first gun that took it was the Bren Ten.

I knew a gun writer once, who wrote for Guns & Ammo. He'd sometimes fake his groups from about zero inches with a latex catapult because he was tired of going to the range. Told me all the gun writers did it. I remember feeling quite disillusioned.

The SA80, apparently, has receiver walls so thin that if you squeeze the top and bottom, you can stop the bolt cycling.

posted by OD on March 5, 2006 12:53 AM

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COme to think of it Neffi, if you did give some other answer for the SA80, but still got 96%, then you must have got 'right' the question that me and John got 'wrong'.

posted by OD on March 5, 2006 12:57 AM

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...but for the life of me I still can't figure out what it is... and I'm not sure I care.

As for gun writers faking their groups, well that just makes me feel better about not paying much attention to the new stuff!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 5, 2006 8:53 AM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

Okay, the questions. (Again, I’m going to cherry-pick my points; you should be looking at the overall data, too).

Questions 1-6 were the demo data. The issue questions start with #7. I’m not going answer by answer – that’s why you should have the pdf open, in case you haven’t taken the hint yet…

Question 7. Which one of the following best describes your understanding of the U.S. mission in Iraq?

58% said they had a clear or somewhat clear understanding. I dunno, I wonder how a high school/college demographic would split out there. Note, this is self-description, they could all be wrong…

The following questions flesh that out and refer to what the reasons the troops believed them to be.

Question 8. To remove weapons of mass destruction from Iraq:

63% said that was *not* a reason. A further 30% said it was a *minor* reason. Talk about *not* getting your MSM talking points!

Question 9. To remove Saddam Hussein from power:

68% that was the major or main reason. I got no beef with that result.

Question 10. To establish a democracy that can be a model for the Arab world:

52% said that was a minor reason. 21% said not a reason, and 24% (I’m rounding, btw) said it was the main or major reason. Looks like the bulk of the troops *didn’t* get their Neocon talking points.

Question 11. To stop Saddam from protecting al Qaeda in Iraq:

76% said that was the main or major reason. So the troops *have* been getting the DoD talking points…

Question 12. To retaliate for Saddam’s role in the 9/11 attacks:

85% gave a yes answer to that being a major or main reason. That one’s a little problematic. But again – how many ‘Muricans in that age group would answer that way, I wonder?

Question 13. To secure Iraqi Oil Supplies.

79% said not a reason or a minor reason. The troops have *not* been getting their Move.On talking points, that’s for sure. 11% said it *was* blood for oil.

Question 14. To provide a long-term base for U.S. Troops in the Middle East.

88% said no, or a minor reason. Again, the troops aren’t living up to the anti’s expectations.

Question 15. How long should US troops stay in Iraq?

This is the much-discussed one. Not surprisingly, the troops want to be home. The same thing was true of the troops in 1944. This one deserves a fuller break-out:

Withdraw immediately: 28.9%
Next 6 months: 22.3%
6 to 12 months: 20.5%
Stay as long as needed: 22.8%
Not sure: 5.0%

I’d like to do some interviewing to follow-up on these. The nature of this beast didn’t allow for that.

Question 16: According to recent polls, about half of Americans favor a rapid withdrawal and half favor and open-ended occupation of Iraq. Which do you believe best describes the motives of those favoring rapid withdrawal.

Another one worthy of a fuller breakdown. Reminder, these aren’t the troops opinions about the mission in Iraq, it’s their opinions of those who *oppose* the continuation of the mission as it’s currently being conducted.

They are unpatriotic: 36.8%
Not aware of the need for US troops: 14.7%
Believe the occupation will not work: 20.2%
Against pre-emptive war: 16.4%

Those numbers don’t surprise me. The troops are generally more even-handed and less brainwashed than most people give ‘em credit for. And they like to think that what they are doing is important and supported, so, yeah, they don’t like people dissin’ it, either. It’s how they act on their belief that’s important here.

Question 17. Ongoing attacks on our troops have made me negative about the Iraqi people.

53.7% said definitely FALSE. 26.6% said MOSTLY false.

That strikes me as a significant achievement on the part of the troops and the leadership – the troops are blaming the fish, not the ocean they swim in. That’s a good thing.

Question 18. The insurgency consists mostly of discontented Sunnis with relatively few (no more than 5%) non-Iraqi helpers.

35% said mostly true. Another 35% said partly true, partly false.

This is interesting, especially when added to the question below.

Question 19. If non-Iraqi terrorists could be prevented from crossing the border into Iraq the insurgency would end.

65% said that was either definitely or mostly FALSE.

Based on those two questions, the troops see the enemy as mostly a local, Sunni, problem. There’s another area I’d have flagged for follow-up.

Question 20. To control the insurgency we need to double the level of ground troops and bombing missions.

This question makes the implicit assumption that that is the only option, and doesn’t allow anyone to break the two up or consider other options, presenting a false choice problem for the taker of the poll. I would have refused to answer this question, personally. This is a problem with a different question, too. The answers were spread out, so let’s break ‘em out.

Definitely false: 9%
Mostly false: 11%
Partly true, partly false: 13%
Mostly true: 35%
Definitely true: 18%
Not sure: 14%

So, over half want more troops or more bombing or both. Okay. Again, I’d want follow-up. Why? Well, hell, if I’m working my ass off, I’d want more troops, too. And if I’m risking my ass, I’d want more troops to spread the hit points around with as well. The problem is, adding more people doesn’t mean you’ll work less, or be safer, or not just get in each others way and create a severe drag on the logistics system which might well make your life worse. The point is, the question and answers, as presented, simply don’t advance the issue or our understanding of it.

Question 21. Infrastructure in Iraq (roads, water, electricity, health care) improved greatly over the past year.

34% said false or mostly false. 30% said true or mostly true. 28% said partly true partly false.

Back to demographics and the information Zogby won’t release unless you promise to not make it public. Where you are at in Iraq makes a difference in the answer to this question. And since the bulk of the troops are where things are happening, and in our business, things happening many times means killing people, breaking things, etc, who you are, where you are, and what your job is makes a big difference in how you perceive this.

Question 22. The Department of Defense has provided adequate troop protection (body armor; Humvee plating, munitions).

43% say definitely true or mostly true. 30% say definitely false or mostly false.

Um, Bill – did Uncle *ever* give you enough stuff? I never had enough stuff. Demographics comes into play here, too. If you are in a relatively safe job, and the powers that be prioritized you out of the latest and best stuff, you feel like you didn’t get what you needed, especially if the science of statistics didn’t work out in your favor and you *did* get hurt. There *are* real issues for Guard and Reserve combat troops, too. Sure, we’d like the number who think that everything is going well to be higher… but I think I’d like to see a comparative analysis from wars gone by. Comparing this to virtually any other US war, I’d say these are great numbers. And there’s always room for improvement, especially on the body armor side and similar issues where we arguably haven’t gone to a true war footing.

Question 23. Is it legitimate to use white phosphorus or napalm-like inflamants against insurgents?

Bad question. Conflating two different munitions with different purposes to the same mission, something I’ve discussed before, here. White Phosphorus is legal to use for its intended purpose, the relevant conventions *not* banning that use. If I’d been asked this question, I would have refused to answer. If pushed against a wall, and not allowed to separate out the two different munitions, I would have said no, it isn’t, as US policy says we won’t use napalm any more. Which pretty much reflects what the troops said – but isn’t really framing the question properly.

46% said false or mostly false. 24% said yes/no, and 20% said true or mostly true.

So, who’s got a gripe with that?

Question 24. Is it standard and appropriate military conduct to use harsh and threatening interrogation methods on possible insurgent prisoners if they could have information of military value?

54% said false or mostly false. 11% said yes and no. 20% said true or mostly true, and 12% weren’t sure.

Again – when you are asking combat troops that question, a better question is one of “in a firefight, as in beating a sniper location out of someone” or in formal interrogation, like of prisoners at Abu Ghraib or Guantanamo. I’d like to see how the numbers would change. The case of LTC West comes to mind.

« Secure this line!

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OK, I haven't read it all and I think for sure it's got to be deeply flawed.........but.........I like how the media hypes certain results and not others.

Question 16
What do you think about Americans who favor immediate withdrawal?

Clear winner at 36.8% "They are unpatriotic."

Runner up "They are not aware of the need for US Troops (Maggie translation - they are stupid and ill informed) 14.7%

So if this poll were to be believed and again I have serious reservations.........1/2 of the troops in Iraq think Americans who favor immediate withdrwal are cowards or stupid.

Gee, why haven't I heard about this question in the MSM?

posted by Maggie on March 4, 2006 1:32 PM

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I was thinking the same kinds of things, Maggie. Interesting...

posted by Fuzzybear Lioness on March 4, 2006 3:16 PM

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The guys at The Officer's Club are looking to talk to anyone who took this test.

http://officersclub.blogspot.com/2006/03/searching-for-soldiers-polled-by-zogby.html#links

posted by Maggie on March 4, 2006 3:31 PM

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"So if this poll were to be believed and again I have serious reservations.........1/2 of the troops in Iraq think Americans who favor immediate withdrwal are cowards or stupid."

No. It means half of the troops think that Americans who favor immediate withdrawal are UNPATRIOTIC or stupid.

Since when was cowardice interchangeable with lack of patriotism?

It's entirely possible to be brave yet unpatriotic. I'm unpatriotic and proud of it. Patriotism demands that everyone pledge loyalty to their state just because they happened to be born on territory it claims.

Some people feel they have a higher duty to our common humanity.

If you think patriotism is always good, you should support the Iraqi insurgents, who are definitely motivated by their own idea of patriotism. Unless, of course, it's only American patriotism that's good, and all the rest is just narrow-minded nationalism.

I believe it was one of your own Founding Fathers who said: "Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel."

And by the way, it's quite possible to be ultrapatriotic and a coward. Deferment Dick is one example that springs to mind.

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 3:34 PM

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And, in fact, I don't see how you could represent people calling for pullout as cowards. Since they aren't in Iraq, it's not their necks on the line. They risk nothing if troops stay.

In fact the citizens who seem most concerned about their own personal safety are those who say "we must fight them in Iraq so we don't have to fight them here."

In other words, let Iraqi civilians be blown up so I won't have to face the risk myself. Now THAT could be called a cowardly position.

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 3:54 PM

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As stated in my comment, some things were "Maggie translations". Also known as opinions, I get to have them. I translated it to cowards because I think that's what they are. You don't know that I am wrong because "coward" was not given as an option on the poll.

Also, the point of the post was about the points the MSM chooses to highlight as opposed to those they don't. The MSM chose to highlight the questions that they felt backed their position. John chose to print *all* the questions, good,bad and indifferent.

Lastly, Owen, darling..........chill. It's Saturday and I haven't the time or inclination to debate you on this or anything else.

posted by Maggie on March 4, 2006 4:42 PM

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Isn't that rather...unpatriotic?

I'd say the evil "MSM" put far less spin on the poll than you do. Cya round.

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 4:45 PM

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Owen, for someone who seems to consider himself so rational and enlightened, you seem so often unable to see things from others' perspectives.

For example, as I understand it, in many Europeans' minds patriotism is equated with jingoism and the worst of nationalism. But in America, patriotism means (to most people) simply love of country. And most Americans who consider themselves patriotic have very specific reasons for loving their country, far beyond simply have been born here.

So, instead of applying your definition of patriotism to others (that patriotism "demands that everyone pledge loyalty to their state just because they happened to be born on territory it claims"), please be open to others' views. We certainly don't have to agree, but a willingness to assume the best of each other rather than the worst would go a long way to changing minds... if that's even your goal.

posted by Fuzzybear Lioness on March 4, 2006 4:55 PM

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"a willingness to assume the best of each other rather than the worst would go a long way to changing minds... if that's even your goal."

I agree. That's why I object when someone says that those who back pullout are motivated by cowardice.

I also agree that many Americans see patriotism differently than I do. Indeed patriotism seems to translate as "love of America", and nationalism as "love of some other country".

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 5:14 PM

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Isn't what unpatriotic? Having opinions? Or choosing not to debate you?

As far as debating you....I just don't see the point. You are just an agitator.

Who was it who chewed up Owen behind last time? AFSis? Somebody get her out here. I have a date and FbL is too nice. (note to FbL - please don't change)

posted by Maggie on March 4, 2006 5:16 PM

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No need to call out the heavy artillery, I'm off out to supper anyway. So no more "agitation" from me for now.

posted by OD on March 4, 2006 5:29 PM

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Owen said:
"Patriotism demands that everyone pledge loyalty to their state just because they happened to be born on territory it claims."

This would seem to ignore the "patriotism" - and love of country - that many "naturalized" US citizens have for their new home, and denigrates the "pledge of loyalty" - oath of enlistment and commitment to defend our Constitution - that many of them have made while serving in the US military, not to mention the ultimate sacrifices that many of them have made on our behalf.

"Some people feel they have a higher duty to our common humanity."

I know this will sound much too trite and passe' for progressive, oh-so-sophisticated and nuanced "world citizens" like Owen, but many of us think of America as HOME.

We appreciate what we have here, and would like to protect and preserve it, as well as the lives and safety of our family and friends, from others in the world who don't share Owen's "higher duty to common humanity".

posted by fdcol63 on March 4, 2006 6:08 PM

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I also agree that many Americans see patriotism differently than I do. Indeed patriotism seems to translate as "love of America", and nationalism as "love of some other country".

Owen, it's a good thing you're leaving for now, because I give up. I could try to discuss educated, patriotic Americans' views of other countries, who I think the "patriotic" Iraqis are, and what cognitive lenses you seem to bring to these discussions, but everytime I try to engage you rationally and politely, you insist on spraying assumptions and snide remarks all over the place.

I leave you to your enlightened assumptions.

posted by Fuzzybear Lioness on March 4, 2006 6:10 PM

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Some people feel they have a higher duty to our common humanity

Such as looking the other way when confronted with real fascists like Saddam, but Bushitler on the other hand...

posted by Masked Menace© on March 6, 2006 9:16 AM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

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I should be outraged at this but it's too damned funny! The egos of men! :)

posted by seawitch on March 4, 2006 8:10 AM

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Ah, but Seawitch - it's SWWBO who started it all... and keeps it going.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 4, 2006 8:29 AM

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On the distaff side - When my children were young and I was still married, I waitressed in a Chinese restaurant. During a discussion with some of the regulars, other waitresses and some assorted spouses, the subject was ironing the stupid waitress uniforms. I mentioned that my husband ironed mine, he had been in the service and ironed very well, I was left handed and ironed in more wrinkles than I started with. One waitresses husband, Jim pressed the point so I whispered in his ear about a particular activity that I really, really enjoyed. My ex laughed and said "You'd iron her clothes too!" Everytime I saw him after that.....Jim offered to iron something for me.

posted by Maggie on March 4, 2006 9:29 AM

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What a Hoot!!! Thanks for the good laugh.

posted by Sine.Qua.Non on March 4, 2006 9:36 AM

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So what you're really saying is that SWWBO bought the Castle Lawn Buggy for herself then?

LMAO!

posted by AFSister on March 4, 2006 8:38 PM

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My mom was born and raised in the South. When she married my dad, they moved to SoCal and that is where I was born and raised. After I graduated from high school, dad retired and they moved back to the South.

They hadn't been in their house for more than 2 weeks and my mom decided to go mow the front lawn. Dad was in the garage working on something having to do with the house and mom enjoyed mowing so it was no big deal. In the course of the hour it took her to mow the lawn (the front lawn is pretty big...they live on an acre of land), 4 men stopped to offer their condolences. When the first man stopped, mom didn't understand. She had to ask why he was offering condolences. He explained that her husband MUST have died - otherwise, why was SHE out mowing the lawn when it was "man's work"? I thought she was going to send that lawnmower through his windshield! Gotta love the South!

- hfs

posted by HomefrontSix on March 5, 2006 4:22 AM

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Well, that explains why I have to cut my own lawn :-/

posted by Harvey on March 6, 2006 4:10 PM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

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I hate suspense. Somebody answer this, because I don't have a clue.

posted by High Desert Wanderer on March 3, 2006 11:20 AM

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Heheheheheheheheheh. My evil plan is working!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 11:33 AM

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I've checked back about fourteen times in the last five minutes, did I mention I don't like suspense? I had a couple of ideas, so I did a little research... Now I have less of an idea than I did before.

posted by High Desert Wanderer on March 3, 2006 11:38 AM

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Shinny Gun Pr0n - Yippie! Could dat be the pointy thingy on a Pre-Fragged HE V-Bessie, Bullet-Trap Boom-boom thingy?

posted by Boquisucio on March 3, 2006 11:58 AM

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It's a 9mm shrapnel round for eliminating ant colonies under the sink. It was developed by EuroGreenies who felt that Raid® and other insecticides--

1. cause needless mental suffering to the targets,

2. accelerate melting of the snowfields on Kilimanjaro and

3. smell icky.

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 12:40 PM

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Hee hee hee. Well, I *might* not have yet snagged Owen's attention, but I've got at least one victim wrapped up.

Boq... look here and consider your answer.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 12:46 PM

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And I was gonna guess Owen chaff.

posted by jim b on March 3, 2006 12:54 PM

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[In small sqeeeky voice:] 'Elp me - 'elp meeeee!

Gosh durn it, caught in his snare again.

Furiously slaps his head while spotting a Driving band and Gas Rings.

posted by Boquisucio on March 3, 2006 1:07 PM

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Actually, Boq - the ensnared person is High Desert Wanderer...

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 1:25 PM

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LMAO too funny let Owen try to upset as many individuals as he chooses . Simply consider the point of a wannabe who had raised himself above all veterans who are really heros as he trys to drive them from the internet .
Owen is one sad excuse for for a person ( notice I did not say MAN as he is not ) . Like his buddies ViperAss and Doc171 and Billy lagre and the Mrs (he he he ) lets not forget Maggie who runs the POW/MIA page and steals money.
Lets see how owen replies to the TRUTH
One REAL COMBAT NAM VET

posted by Carfl on March 3, 2006 1:53 PM

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LMAO too funny let Owen try to upset as many individuals as he chooses . Simply consider the point of a wannabe who had raised himself above all veterans who are really heros as he trys to drive them from the internet .
Owen is one sad excuse for for a person ( notice I did not say MAN as he is not ) . Like his buddies ViperAss and Doc171 and Billy lagre and the Mrs (he he he ) lets not forget Maggie who runs the POW/MIA page and steals money.
Lets see how owen replies to the TRUTH
One REAL COMBAT NAM VET

posted by Carfl on March 3, 2006 1:53 PM

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Heh. The Castle Echo hit Carfl pretty hard. I think that's a record... 11. [I deleted a bunch of 'em]

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 2:01 PM

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Okay, if anyone reads this after Carfl's stutter attack.....it looks like an anti-personnel artillery shell.

posted by SGT Jeff (IRR) on March 3, 2006 2:01 PM

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Incomplete answer, SGT Jeff. And, well, any more and I'd give it away... which I'm not ready to do just yet.

Gotta make Owen earn his cookie!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 2:05 PM

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Sorry Mr. Tuttle (ret),

It can't possibly be an Ant destructive device. Ever mindful, of the Formicids, Blattids, and other tiny friends' sensibilities, The Euro-Weennies wouldn't advocate for their demise. Specially in such a violent and conflagratory way.

If anything, they would lovingly control their population with Nature-friendly and Bio-comforting agents.

posted by Boquisucio on March 3, 2006 2:45 PM

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Nah--the Formicae perform useful functions, so the Greenies couldn't care less about them.

However, since they consider themselves stalwart defenders of their Blattidae role models, they'd screech like scalded Spotted Owls if you tried using *anything* on 'em.

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 2:58 PM

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Hah! Iz lookink ver' much like that thing Momma used to keep hided in her nightstand. Took MANY batt'ry and wuz ver' noisy- dunno what uzed for but Momma call it her Warzaw Willy or zum zuch ting, sheesh.

posted by Andre the Pole on March 3, 2006 3:05 PM

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ANDRE!

Vhat are you doin' snooping around en me nightstand!?!?!

Bend over, you naughty boy. You are due for ze spankin' ut your life!

*swat*
*swat*
*swat*

posted by Andre's Momma on March 3, 2006 3:19 PM

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I can take ze punish; but it more fun when Dbie do it! But zat's our liddle secret, no?
Oh- vait a minnit...

posted by Andre the Pole on March 3, 2006 3:23 PM

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I think this is the first time a thread has been hijacked and turned into a caption contest...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 3:26 PM

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Heh. I see I shouldn't have gone to that meeting.

Bill, Boq, *this* is the Cartridge, Flechette, 9mm, Anti-Blattidae. The cat hairs are a free service of Castle Argghhh! Security Forces, Inc.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 3:36 PM

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*grin*

posted by Andre's Momma on March 3, 2006 3:38 PM

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And, just to make sure, I did a little simple googling. The answer to the question *is* on the 'net.

You gonna let Owen beat you to it?

That will be... distressing.

Because I have no doubt he's going to get the answer.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 3:40 PM

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Oh but trustink me, Cheif- you not want be zeeing dat foto no times soon, I tellink you! 'Sides, Swinging Slav makazine got ze copyright...

posted by Andre the Pole on March 3, 2006 3:42 PM

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ANDRE!
You promised NEVER to show ze foto ut me spankin' yous.... unless you share ze moniez from ze sale!

Handink it over, bub!

posted by Andre's Momma on March 3, 2006 3:52 PM

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Just a hunch, but it could be a relic from the Boer War.

It's definitely *not* a Long Tom shell, but there were whole bunches of interesting tubes that were shrapnel spitters back then. Check your e-mail, cuz nanny doesn't like the link addy.

My turn to go to a meeting. *Another* meeting...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 3:52 PM

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Sigh. You two need to get a room. I'm trying to have a Whatizzit contest here and you guys are turning this place into a tawdry pr0n palace complete with sticky floors. Cuddit out!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 4:01 PM

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This is the site Bill was trying to post... *except!*

http://abw.netf1rms.com/unidentified_weapons.htm

Replace the 1 in 'netfirms' with an i. The reason the Comment Nanny won't let him post it is because netf1rms.com is a *huge* hoster of spam generating websites. But it should be okay to visit this site. (At least, nothing horrible happened to me when I did it).

Scroll halfway down to the pic just above the entry titled Novelty Weapons. Look center of mass, then slightly right and slightly low.

To which I respond:

Nope. One problem with it being an artillery round is that square projection a little left of center, right at the bottom of the engraved frag/grip area.

Of course, that is something of a red herring, given what it *is*.

But I like that *site*!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 4:12 PM

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I've been googling for about 30 min. or more now.... no luck.
No pops on "aluminum artillery crosshatch" or anything close to it.

I give.

posted by AFSister on March 3, 2006 4:19 PM

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I'm touched by your confidence that I'll get it, John, but I'm nowhere yet. I've spent hours looking at 47 mm shells, before I noticed that little square projection.

And is that a dial below it? Base time fuze? Could it be some sort of primitive AA rocket head?

I'd love to see a shot of the base.

posted by OD on March 3, 2006 4:54 PM

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Who would have thunk it André, your mother in Warsaw used a Djakonoff Rifle Grenade.

posted by Boquisucio on March 3, 2006 6:30 PM

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Or maybe it's a rifle grenade. Definitely WW1. Looks Germanic, somehow.

posted by OD on March 3, 2006 6:59 PM

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Zo Boq- you have familiar wit dis thing?! I think iz wuz for ladyz only... hope you had pot uf swine grease like Momma, WOW you yelping udderwise my fren! But here is no-one askink, no-one tellink; all velcome I thinkink.

posted by Andre the Pole on March 3, 2006 7:50 PM

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And Boq scorez! His spelling sucks... oh, wait, *that* was on purpose.

You can find one here, a third of the way down the page or so.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 7:56 PM

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Between the wars, Soviet, Owen. Boq gottit.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 7:57 PM

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Oh bugger, you got it. I should've hit refresh and I would have saved myself some time.
I was looking at Russian and German rifle grenades, but I had the wrong war.
The Djakonoff does have an adjustable base time fuze. I never knew there were such things on rifle grenades.

posted by OD on March 3, 2006 8:18 PM

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I'll put up more pics tomorrow.

Ah, Owen in *second* place. Life is good. ;^)

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 8:51 PM

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Here's a decent description:
http://www.geocities.com/Pentagon/Base/1852/37mm.html

You did lead us down the garden path somewhat with the 50mm bit. It's actually 40mm.

If you enjoy watching me lose you should do these more often. It's good fun.

posted by OD on March 3, 2006 8:55 PM

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dang it.
I shoulda gone with my gut, and google'd "grenade" because when I was describing it to someone, I said it had a crosshatch design, "like a grenade".

dang it.

posted by AFSister on March 4, 2006 10:08 PM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

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Critics are eagerly awaiting the release of Ang Lee's next martial-arts movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden German Shepherd."

posted by brogonzo on March 3, 2006 7:59 AM

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from the pages of Jane's Defense Weekly: "...Red China's extensive bio research program has successfully produced the long rumoured "K9garoo", of particular use for border patrol operations in remote regions..."

posted by MajMike on March 3, 2006 8:03 AM

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Korean thought bubble:
please don't bite my crotch
please don't bite my crotch

posted by AFSister on March 3, 2006 8:08 AM

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The mother of infantryman Unfare Steir-Eotipe was overheard saying "Stop playing with your food!"

posted by Masked Menace© on March 3, 2006 8:48 AM

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MM... you rawk.

*shakes head... walks away giggling*

posted by AFSister on March 3, 2006 8:50 AM

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K-9 to Kegogi in six easy bounces!!

posted by Mike Lehnherr on March 3, 2006 9:21 AM

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Aw shucks MM, you stole me thunder.

[Outside the frame, Mess Sgt. Lee barks...]

Mess PFC. Chung; you dunderhead! How many times I have to tell you?

Gen. Tsao likes his lunch sautéed on a wok, not on a string!

posted by Boquisucio on March 3, 2006 9:54 AM

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haha...it's so funny! [I'm leaving this in here because I think it's hilarious that a chinese company spammed this post with this... -ed]

posted by lost my bearings on March 3, 2006 10:52 AM

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"If the dog messes up, he is stew."

posted by Cricket on March 3, 2006 11:20 AM

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Jun P. Hai did not dare to question the wisdom of the People's Revolutionary PT Committee requiring *everyone* to pass the physical conditioning tests, but he did wonder what would happen when they got to the pushups ...

posted by Bad Cat Robot on March 3, 2006 12:21 PM

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In efforts to defend himself from Rin Tin Tin, Wun Hung Lo attempted to create a ninja styled force field around himself with a rope, only to find the dog liked it. This is the matrix styled slomo of the Wun’s move and Rinty’s countermove.

posted by jim b on March 3, 2006 12:51 PM

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Chinese Soldier Skipping Lunch.

posted by Cowboy Blob on March 3, 2006 2:13 PM

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OH thank you very much, CB. I now have lemonade all over my keyboard, monitor and desk.

*trots over to the paper towels and windex and starts cleaning vigorously*

posted by Cricket on March 3, 2006 3:22 PM

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Cowboy, nobody can play anymore. That was brilliant.

posted by Toluca Nole on March 3, 2006 5:51 PM

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I'd actually had that pic on my blog a month or two ago with a similar caption. Thanks for the nice words. I'm all aglow...no, wait, that's a side effect of the sriracha sauce I had on lunch.

posted by Cowboy Blob on March 3, 2006 6:13 PM

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The first contestant in the "Calf Roping Competition" was unclear on certain details.

Cheers
JMH

posted by J.M. Heinrichs on March 3, 2006 8:50 PM

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CB and MM - you guys slay me.
skipping lunch - omg!

posted by swwbo on March 4, 2006 7:39 AM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

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Studies in organizational dynamics show that even the highest performing organizations take a dip in performance when leadership changes. What is more significant, and indicative of an organization's (or unit's)ilk, is how long it takes for that organization to rebound. There are so many variables of change in a combat environment that it will be hard to isolate the impact of a new commander; however, I suspect that the battalion will return to its combat readiness sooner rather than later. ML

posted by Mike Lehnherr on March 2, 2006 8:24 AM

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I can't disagree with the 'nuke em to glass' and move on school of thought.

That said, this is a normal flow of things IF you honestly and objectively evaluate any unit.

The object of testing a unit (person, animal) is to measure the strengths, and detail the weaknesses. You then work (manage, train, educate, whatever) to polish the strengths and improve the weaknesses.

I take this evaluation and subsequent downgrading of this unit to be an honest and correct assessment. Then you fix the problems.

The alternative is to 'fudge' the criteria and declair the unit to be grade 'whatever' to fill your propaganda goals ... then suffer the consequences.

I applaud the honesty and objectivity of the evaluators. I have confidence in the managers ability to correct deficits and actually build a grade one unit in reality, as opposed to 'on paper only'

US units combat status typically do that roller coaster thing.

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 9:08 AM

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Now having said that, dang them boys is pretty eh?
White gloves and as many badges as a boy scout troop.

Kinda reminds ya of the US Army eh? I bet them red shashes were awarded for the three legged race at this year's family day.

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 9:11 AM

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I had also thought that this top level of readiness meand *complete* operational independence -- and I seem to recall that there were European units that could not meet this requirement. Anybody got the breakdown on that?

posted by Bad Cat Robot on March 2, 2006 9:17 AM

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I seem to recall that there were European units that could not meet this requirement.

Heh. Wait 'til the Army finishes its "Modularity Transformation" and I'll give odds that there will be US units that can't meet the requirement.

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 2, 2006 9:47 AM

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Dang. Don't let John near Bill Buckley's column on the matter from over the weekend everybody. And should we go after Derb for not liking NASA too? Can we add Derb to the list, along with beets, as things we're thinking about having a Punitive Expedition against?

posted by ry on March 2, 2006 9:48 AM

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OH by the way .... Chief Sugarbuttons your name is up in lights again.

*Good Ship Lollipop* plays in the background.

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 9:54 AM

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'Bout time someone noticed. It's been that way for days...

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 2, 2006 9:58 AM

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I am more and more concerned that Dusty and John refer to the Chief as Sugar Buttons.

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 10:06 AM

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JoA: 'Bout time someone noticed. It's been that way for days...
jb: I am more and more concerned that Dusty and John refer to the Chief as Sugar Buttons.

I'm more concerned that nobody appears to have noticed, and if they did, didn't turn in a Spot Report. Looks like it's time for some remedial Observation and Reporting training.

*lugging overhead slide projector and 'ritamatic towards the jungle room*

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 2, 2006 10:15 AM

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*We* don't. It's the Denizennes who do...

Them, and the guy from NIF.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 2, 2006 10:16 AM

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And this thread has been completely hijacked, too.

Tell me again why I put up the H&I fires?

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 2, 2006 10:19 AM

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And this thread has been completely hijacked, too.

Tell me again why I put up the H&I fires?

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 2, 2006 10:19 AM

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H&I means Hijacking and Interruption.

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 10:22 AM

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And the echo is Horkin' Interminable...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 2, 2006 10:23 AM

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So it's more fun to highjack and interrupt here... however to turn the flow back to the original topic....

And now back to our regularly scheduled broadcast already in progress

Chief Bill's excellent adventures in evaluating the Army of the Sand.

Take it away Sugar Buttons

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 10:45 AM

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I'm more and more distressed that SugarButtons is getting so much attention from the boys. It seems to me you guys need your own Brigade name.
Let's see....
Jim, you can be HoneyBuns.
John... how about SweetPea?

SweetPea
SugarButtons
HoneyBuns

works for me.....

posted by Were-Kitten on March 2, 2006 10:56 AM

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*grin*
I finally got the SugarButtons banner to pop up.
So cute...

(yeah. he's gonna kill me for that someday)

posted by AFSister on March 2, 2006 11:13 AM

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Actually

SweetPea
SugarButtons
HoneyBuns

Are typical of the names I use on wimmins when I can't remember their names.

Like the old song (hit it mystro)

Letttt me callllll you Sweetheart, I forgottt yourrrrr naaaaameeeeeeeee

Thank you thank you very much .... Thank you.

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 11:21 AM

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*grinning dangerously in the general direction of cincinnati*

Any particular reason you made those pet names into a me sandwich, hmmmmm?

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 2, 2006 11:50 AM

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Eeeew! My eyes! My eyes!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 2, 2006 12:43 PM

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So how bout that Iraqi Army eh?

This certainly seems to be the perfect team to critique em doncha think?

posted by jim b on March 2, 2006 1:03 PM

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Actually, I was thinking about changing John's name from SweetPea to LuvMuffin.

LuvMuffin
SugarButtons (purposely put back in the middle for the "me sammich". *grin*)
HoneyBuns

WOOT! WOOT!

posted by AFSister on March 2, 2006 1:29 PM

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Have at it, Honey Buh...

Honey Buh...

Hang on, I think I'm having a Brokeback Moment...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 2, 2006 1:31 PM

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...purposely put back in the middle...

Hmmm. Could *somebody* have hit the Tex-Mex Takeout for lunch, by any chance? Last time you were this lively, you were commando and you'd dropped the Jalepeño Special in your lap...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 2, 2006 1:44 PM

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I'm always lively.
I *am* a kitty, you know.

*pops cinnamon Altoid in mouth to mask jalepeno breath*

posted by Were-Kitten on March 2, 2006 1:52 PM

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"LuvMuffin?" Oh, definitely! *grin*

posted by FbL on March 2, 2006 2:31 PM

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*evil grin*
I thought you'd like that, FbL.

posted by Were-Kitten on March 2, 2006 3:14 PM

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Actually, I understand the major concerns with many other Iraq units are logistical support. It seems the MOD in Iraq completely sucks at budgets, buying, scheduling and supplying. Not to mention, the concept of a "supply unit" seems almost wholely alien to the commanders who were used to scavenging and making due based on their relationships in the old military. AND there seems to be a huge problem with bribery, theft and embezzlement up and down the line.

In which case, the other units at a two, I understand there were at least 10, maybe more, were largely due to bad logistics and supplies. Can't even get batteries for flashlights. But, I understood that was supposed to be worked on this year and was part of the "draw down" plan where we had fewer combat troops and more supply/logistics people training the second tier support troops. I'm sure that's going to be extremely difficult in light of the current situation.

posted by kat-missouri on March 2, 2006 5:52 PM

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1) Everyone track down a copy of 'On War'.'
2) Look up sections pertaining to 'friction' or 'entropy'.
3) Beat a reporter with book open to those sections until they get it.(Better take a dictionary along with you, just in case.)

(gollum/ry retreats back under his rock).

posted by ry on March 2, 2006 11:07 PM

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On War is a good 'un, but if the local Library has already burned it, try How to Make War, from James Dunnigan (yeah, one of the strategypage-dot-com guys).

Whap the MSM with Part 1 (Ground Combat), Chapter 5 (Combat Support) and all of Part 4 (Human Factors).

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 5:52 AM

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You mean, everybody doesn't just reach up to the shelf above the monitor and pull down either book?

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 6:58 AM

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Shelf above the monitor?
Not I, said the fly.
I don't have a shelf above my monitor, unless you're counting the boobage that hangs over the laptop keyboard, and they're not sturdy enough to store books on.

posted by AFSister on March 3, 2006 7:27 AM

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Not even paperbacks?

Tsk.

There's not enough room on the shelf over my monitor--fortunately, I liberated a GI special (a bunch of 1x12s and wood screws) before it met an ignominious end when the 50th Aviation Brigade faded into the mists of history.

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 7:51 AM

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What, and risk getting a nasty papercut on my Girls which might require medical attention?
NO WAY.. oh.... now.... waitaminute....

MEDIC!!!!
I NEED A MEDIC!!!!

posted by AFSister on March 3, 2006 8:59 AM

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'Scuse me. Pardon me. Make way, please.

*unwrapping 12 square feet of bandaid and activating official insta-mash self-inflating medical tent*

This way, ma'am. Just need you to fill out some forms, first.

*handing zoomiesib forty pounds of sf88s and 93s*

Can't start work until the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the injured area, ya know...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 9:17 AM

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‘John belongs to the "Smash and Run" school of the War on Terror, where you go in, kill people, break things, and leave a note saying "Stop what you're doing or we'll come back" and then come home and pass around the medals and get back to training for the next Punitive Expedition.’

Remind me again what the Iraqis were being punished for doing? WMD? 911? Looking at you funny?

Whether you stick around or smash and run, it’s still attacking the wrong country.

posted by OD on March 3, 2006 9:44 AM

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Um, Owen, you need to read the link to what Derb thinks is a good approach.

What *is* the right country, btw?

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 10:14 AM

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Afghanistan. That's where 911 was planned.

I have read Derbyshire's comments, and I think he's just silly. He hasn't remotely thought through the consequences of what he's talking about.

"Smashing and running" in Iran and Saudi Arabia would send oil way over $100 a barrel, wreck the US economy, destroy NATO, and in all probability provoke a de facto military alliance between Russia, China and the EU.

He sums it up: "Rubble doesn't make trouble."

Well there's a hell of a lot of rubble in Afghanistan, yet, as I said, that's where 911 came from.

The Iraqi example doesn't exactly argue the peace-spreading benefits of rubble creation either.

posted by OD on March 3, 2006 10:30 AM

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I was just curious. I'm not a fan of Derb's philosophy, either.

I wasn't a fan of invading Iraq, either. I'm not a fan of invading Iran, for a whole bunch of other reasons.

But I do believe in finishing what you've started, even if it's something you maybe shouldn't have, hence, the way I look at Iraq.

That doesn't mean you can't convince me that we can't achieve our ultimate objectives at a cost we're willing to pay and we should, at that point, pack it up and wish them the best with whatever non-resident support we can provide.

But, at the same time, the whole concept of "persistance of failed ideas" permeates the whole Middle East problem.

Bush tried something different. It has made a difference.

And we aren't *really* going to know for a long time whether or not it did any good in the long run.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 3, 2006 10:38 AM

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"I wasn't a fan of invading Iraq"

I'm surprised and pleased to hear that John.

As for finishing what you started, it could be argued that you have, since you went there ostensibly to disarm Iraq of WMD, and one thing we can all agree on is that Iraq definitely has no WMD.

From another point of view, it could be argued that what the invasion really started was the disintegration of Iraq, and that is perhaps a job that's better left unfinished.

posted by OD on March 3, 2006 10:54 AM

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Owen,
Again.. you show your ignorance of the audience you are addressing here. It's been my experience that those who have combat experience tend not to want to repeat it if possible, but do not shy away the fight once it's started.

Quite a few of us were NOT in agreement over invading Iraq the second time- me being one of them.

And based upon previous conversations we've had here, most of us agreed that the first Gulf War ended too soon, which lead us to the current one.
If we don't finish it up right this time, we'll just be back again in another 10 years.

posted by AFSister on March 3, 2006 11:01 AM

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Always nice to see the comments. I learn more when I read. In this instance, I was not a fan of invading Iraw either, as I want and still want Osama's head.
Not much, just the perps who killed 3500 innocent people for no other reason than hate.

And yes, I agree that we are committed so we need to finish what we start. And if we can change hearts in the process, by finding more common ground than oil, then it will be worth it.

And if oil goes to 100 a barrel, then the Saudis can eat their oil.

posted by Cricket on March 3, 2006 11:27 AM

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"Remind me again what the Iraqis were being punished for doing?" It's in the AUF, and there's a list of 46 reasons, Owen. Not just one, WMD.
How about finally being able to end the sanctions regime that in ten years killed on avg. 50K elderly and children? Seems rather humanitarian in my book. Of course, if one reads the Deulfer report(he was safely in a box sans actual wmd, but had everything in place to have bc weapons the week after), and remembers the toll it took to keep Iraq in that box it doesn't seem so bad.
See, I've been raised in a school of thought that says one has to figure the costs of not going and compare it to the costs of going. The costs to not go were staggering, and a nightmare as well(or are news articles about anger at the US for its sanctions against Cuba and Iraq suddenly hard to find?) in terms of IR.
einseitigkeit seems to be the basis of analysis so far.

posted by ry on March 3, 2006 11:54 PM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

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Very nice - thanks for sharing, JMH!

posted by Barb on March 1, 2006 5:46 PM

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It's a repeat, but I like repeating this one:
Jihadis, don't mess with the Canucks. They're crazier than the 'Muricans, and they have no compunction about giving beat downs medieval style with trenching tools as their history in WW1 and WW2 has shown. Don't mess with 'em. YOu won't like their response, not one bit.

posted by ry on March 1, 2006 8:54 PM

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Ry, you are the man! Agree with you don't mess with Canuck,s.... but is it worst than messing with Texas?

posted by Franck on March 3, 2006 10:00 AM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!

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Not shown: The OH-6 dropping a red smoke on the target to mark it for the AH-1, which will, in turn, fire a Mk66 with a 17-pound orange paint warhead to mark the target for the guy peering through the pan-tel...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 3:42 PM

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An obvious lie. You don't sight on a direct fire target with the pantel, you use the elbow telescope. The pantel is only for your aiming posts, collimator, or common distant aiming point - which is fixed, not ephemeral, and far enough away to simulate infinity (which, of course, is why the collimator was invented in the first place).

Bad Bill! Report to the basement of Snow Hall for re-education!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 3:47 PM

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Soooo, tell me--just how *far* downrange are those aiming stakes?

Reminds me of why it takes Slobovian gunners so long to enter the Fire for Effect phase...

FO: "Left one hundred, add two hundred, Over."

*scene: gunners scrambling frantically to displace piece a hundred meters to the left, then wheeling it two hundred forward...*

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:05 PM

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Them Slobovian gunners musta been graduates of early 70's basic at Fort Dix...

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:11 PM

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Ahhhh not to be a contrarian (sp) but:

Thing 1. The elbow telescope is the primary direct fire scope. The panoramic sight can and is used for direct fire if required. Yes it does require boresighting for that function.

Thing 2. If I were the XO of that battery I would have that gunner's 6. Look at the way he is allowing that loader to handle that projo. His right hand should be clenched in a fist so as to allow him to retain all his digits when the breech is slammed in a hurry. He has two functions ... 1 shove that projo up the spout. 2 hold it there till the breach is closed. Okay 3.... retain his fingers.

Perhaps it's the photo or my eyes but that projo doesn't look at all properly seated in the cannister.

I am glad I can't see the 155 in the background, I would hate to complain about them guys firing loading elevation.

posted by jim b on March 1, 2006 4:16 PM

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One simply does *not* use the pantel for direct fire unless one is in dire straits. And like the boresight would hold after any significant number of rounds have been fired. I'd slap in the boresight disk and aim kentucky-style through the tube...

And like I said, graduates of a certain Fort Dix BCT company.

I didn't even get into the 'no helmet' thing, because that's just an anal-retentive Army thang.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:24 PM

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Oh, and how can one tell Jim B is fibbing (aside from the obvious, his lips are moving)?

Ahhhh not to be a contrarian

Yeah, right.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:27 PM

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We practiced using the panoramic sight for direct fire. It works.... yanno the closer I look at these guys the more they look like the New Jersey National Guard ... God save us all.

They are the poster boys for "Danger Close Wherever you Are" magazine.

posted by jim b on March 1, 2006 4:29 PM

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You must be referring to graduates of a certain Fort Dix BCT Infantry Company.

I kept warning them to go for higher scores on their Proficiency Park Intelligence Tests or they'd get stuck as gun bunnies, but *noooooo*...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:34 PM

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Snerk! Your desperation knows no bounds now, aviator!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:52 PM

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Looks like Gagetown in the late '80s/early '90s. Two are wearing combat caps which disappeared from stores around 1987; and that is the former Army combat uniform.
As for how to hold the cartridge case base, well it's legal and safe while holding the round prior to loading. Once the round is inserted into the chamber then it's fist time. I preferred to use my knuckles. in a subtle transgressive manner.
And, yes, Canadian gunners sometimes use the pantel in a direct fire shoot. I watch them do so while missing an 1800m target five times. It was during our "Introduction to the Artillery" Day.

Cheers
JMH

posted by J.M. Heinrichs on March 1, 2006 5:00 PM

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I rest my case on the pantel. Silly thing to use for direct fire. Especially in front of direct-fire specialists.

Silly gunners, not in *my* battery!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 5:15 PM

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Just as long as you chuckleheads get it on target when I ask for it, you could wear pink tutus and shove the round up the tube with a toilet plunger...

posted by Sgt. B. on March 1, 2006 5:35 PM

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Ah, that would be *Naval* gunnery.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 6:02 PM

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Fingers, John. We have no evidence of lips moving.

posted by Punctilious on March 1, 2006 7:33 PM

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Heh. Ever watch a Marine read? Their lips move.

I'm sure it's the same when they type.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 7:50 PM

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I could use something extremely male and gunlike.....

posted by Were-Kitten on March 1, 2006 8:34 PM

---

Canadians have guns?

The Oracle
www.redskybrothers.com

posted by The Oracle on March 1, 2006 10:50 PM

---

I rest my case on the pantel. Silly thing to use for direct fire. Especially in front of direct-fire specialists.

Three words: Beehive! Beehive! Beehive!

Heh. Pointee-shootee. Don' need no steenkeen' sights, even...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 10:54 PM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

Heaven? Heh--"I've got friends in low places..."

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 3:00 PM

---

Just for that, I hope Beth drags you to Mass to do the Stations of The Cross and get the little dallop of 'ash' on your (ginormous)forhead tonight. Thhhpppppptttttt.

posted by ry on March 1, 2006 3:55 PM

---

Why would Beth want to drag *me* to church? I'd a-thunk she'd wanna go with John...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:08 PM

---

Mebbe you'll take up less room in the pew...

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:12 PM

---

*setting confusionometer to max*

*tweaking voice-activated "record" function to trip upon appearance of post-pubescent midwestern twang / squawk*

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:14 PM

---

May need to broaden the filter to include "Valley Boy", Bill.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:17 PM

---

Heh. I could assume the full lotus in the pew and still take up less room...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:18 PM

---

Gezackly, you scpng.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:20 PM

---

So, is your forehead dirty? Mine is. Also passed up the Irish bacon my father cooked for breakfast (he was not paying attention to the rules). As my mother was kind enough to point out this morning, she can eat the bacon..........she does not need to "curry favor with God like some other people". A deep wound!

posted by Maggie on March 1, 2006 4:25 PM

---

Ry's bollixed the MT SpellChecker aguaien...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:25 PM

---

As the provider of the Lenten treasures I would be remiss if I failed to point out that I shamelessly stole the modern penances from Jeff Miller the Curt Jester. If you are Catholic and need a good laugh along with sound doctrine check out http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/

A Holy and penitential Lent to you all.

posted by JimC on March 1, 2006 4:33 PM

---

I did not. Liar. You aren't Lord Forehead---you've still got follicles Chief. That was for Mr. 'I have to get a specialy made brain bucket while I use the pantel to sight my gun'.

And I speak with a Californian accent. I just write with a faux midwestern accent 'cause everyone else seems to.
So somebody else messed with the spellchecker---maybe BCR is getting a head start on April Fools?

posted by ry on March 1, 2006 9:01 PM

---

Lord Forehead.

Hmmmm.

And like I said, Bill - "Valley Boy"

And my midwestern accent ain't faux. Ah comes by it honestly, Ah does. And all y'all can jest kiss my grits!

All that said, this may win an Honorable Mention for "Most Denizen-Specific Incomprehensible-to-Outsiders" thread.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 9:08 PM

---

And, speaking of follicles...

I'm hairier than the Auld Phart is. From stem to stern, top to bottom (with possible exception of toes, the Ancient One might be a hobbit).

So, just what *was* your point there, boyo?

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 9:12 PM

---

Ry - Don't you remember when John and Beth went to Disney's Animal Kingdom last year? Proof that the Armorer is not follicly challenged. Er, he's the fourth pic down, just in case you weren't sure!
*snerk*

posted by Barb on March 1, 2006 10:37 PM

---

Ry - Don't you remember when John and Beth went to Disney's Animal Kingdom last year?

Barb, Ry has trouble with six *hours* ago, and you expect him to remember last *year*?

I'm hairier than the Auld Phart is. From stem to stern, top to bottom (with possible exception of toes, the Ancient One might be a hobbit).

Or a giant tribble with legs...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 11:02 PM

---

"That was for Mr. 'I have to get a specialy made brain bucket while I use the pantel to sight my gun'." I thought this said it all. Sheesh. So much to do about nothing.
I do so remember John going to Disneyworld. I even remember the post he made about being able to find cannon(or cannon like stuff) just about anywhere---with a photoshopped on mouse ears and mickey nose covering up the large forhead. It's just I have always had this in-coherence problem. Comes with being a Zombie who drinks The Chief's Beer, uses his duct tape as a hockey puck(so he can't find it to Fix Everything), and watches his cable television while he and KtLW sleep only to disappear when there's any real work to be done. You know, a graduate student.

posted by ry on March 3, 2006 12:58 AM

---

...only to disappear when there's any real work to be done. You know, a graduate student.

Or a Nasal Respirator.

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 3, 2006 7:34 AM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

hmmmmmph.
And he never got laid and never got a gun as a gift and he ran out of clean underwear.

posted by swwbo on March 1, 2006 6:26 AM

---

Damn. Gotta merember *she* reads this space, too!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 6:51 AM

---

Ron White had a neat bit along these lines...

He was thanking Jeff Foxworthy for giving his career a jump-start, and then he said,

"Jeff also introduced me to my wife... which I think makes us even."

posted by brogonzo on March 1, 2006 7:01 AM

---

*high-fives SWWBO*

posted by Fuzzybear Lioness on March 1, 2006 7:04 AM

---

Heh. Some posts need a chick-filter.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 7:09 AM

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Heh. Some posts need a chick-filter.

Or a distractor. Put up a link to the Sean Connery Fan Club's home page...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 7:45 AM

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Nicely done, SWWBO.

Not only that, there was no one to cook the kill and catch.

posted by Cricket on March 1, 2006 7:46 AM

---

Heh. Some posts need a chick-filter.

Or a distractor. Put up a link to the Sean Connery Fan Club's home page...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 7:48 AM

---

'Way cool! A delayed echo hits when you boogie over to another post's comments while the first one loads--oh, this *does* have possibilities...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 7:57 AM

---

I think you should copy that post to word or something bill, and post it again as balance to opinions of the opposite view appear.

Kinda like sayin 'amen' after prayers ... but different.

posted by jim b on March 1, 2006 8:06 AM

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I think you should copy that post to word or something bill, and post it again as balance to opinions of the opposite view appear.

Kinda like sayin 'amen' after prayers ... but different.

posted by jim b on March 1, 2006 8:06 AM

---

Oy, the echo is bad today. Happens when you send the tapestries in for some cleaning.

Hadda get the choklit and massage oil cleaned up.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 8:22 AM

---

Hey isn't that some kinda .22 that ole 007 is toting, in that picture John put up to deflect chick angst with?

posted by jim b on March 1, 2006 8:39 AM

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*sighing and swooning*

Love Sean Connery and he just gets better as he gets older. What were we talking about?

posted by Cricket on March 1, 2006 9:34 AM

---

LOL, John's in trouble (irritating sing-song voice).

MMMMM Sean Connery. Thanks Bill.

posted by Maggie on March 1, 2006 10:03 AM

---

Maggie,
Sir Sean also has an official website. Google it and it should be the third or fourth one down the list.

Have fun

*wipes drool off keyboard*

posted by Cricket on March 1, 2006 10:12 AM

---

*slowly peering around corner, easing ghillie suit cammy aside from steely-eyed baby blues*

Heh. That pic of Connery always works.

But I think I'd better low crawl outside before the Interior Guard decides this rag bag suit is a self-propelled sctatching post...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 10:27 AM

---

jim b takes notes on the correct deployment of "007 chaff" while concealed to throw the wimmins off the trail from bill.

Hmm yanno if you accidentally leave the 'w' off of wimmins ... you get immins... it is just me or does that sound like some kinda moslem cahuna???

posted by jim b on March 1, 2006 11:15 AM

---

Naw--more like a navel descriptor: immins an' outims.

Speaking of Navel Descriptors, Lex looks like he's reminiscing about water taxis...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 11:43 AM

---

I have both immins and outims, and depending on which one you're talking about... sometimes both.

*evil grin*

posted by Were-Kitten on March 1, 2006 11:47 AM

---

Interior Guard spots slow trawling bag of rags and gathers other members of the Scruple Squad to pounce...

Cricket whisks off to the kitchen to get fodder to distract the beasties and allow Bill an escape.

posted by Cricket on March 1, 2006 11:52 AM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

*sigh*

Stand by for the usual barrage of "God made man first because you always do a test run before the final product" jokes.

Remind me to apologize for picking the apple and cajoling Eve to eat it, too...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 7:50 AM

---

It is ALWAYS the man's fault.

No exceptions.

posted by Cassandra on March 1, 2006 8:22 AM

---

Ah, but there *are* exceptions.

The San Andreas Fault belongs to Mama Gaia.

Heh. And they snark *us* for being horndogs...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 8:43 AM

---

And if you would stop *mauling* Mother Gaia with tractors and rototillers and clogging her pores with parking lots there wouldn't BE earthquakes, you blind, organophobic MAN! All would be at peace, yea, even the tectonic plates would cease their restless, itchy motion. I'm quite sure of this.

posted by WiccaPundit on March 1, 2006 10:44 AM

---

Where could I get some tectonic flatware to match the tectonic plates?

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 11:11 AM

---

Bill-
Try Tectonics Barn. They usually have a pretty good selection. But if they don't have anything to your liking, you can always try Tectonics, Trivets and Beyond.

posted by AFSister on March 1, 2006 12:22 PM

---

Oh, swell. I googled Tectonics, Trivets and Beyond and got Buzz Lightyear in a corduroy paisley spacesuit...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 12:33 PM

---

Bill said - "Remind me to apologize for picking the apple and cajoling Eve to eat it, too..."

LOL, you are older than dirt!

posted by Maggie on March 1, 2006 4:29 PM

---

He gave God the recipe for mud, too. Just ask him!

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:31 PM

---

Yours truly is Number One and Number Two for

I gave God the recipe for mud.

I try...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:39 PM

---

Grumpf. I hate it when I paste extra code...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 4:42 PM

---

You forgot the http://, old man. I'll fix it.

posted by John of Argghhh! on March 1, 2006 4:54 PM

---

You forgot the http://, old man.

Didn't notice there was supposed to be a comma after the *http://*--but thanks for the fix. I'll do the same for you, sometime.

Waitaminnit--I *have* done the same for you...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 11:09 PM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

*buffing the micarta carrying handles*

Okay, the usual plain old, regular, common, everyday, 187-proof 'ritas are on tap on the right and the pink ones are (naturally) over on the left.

You may flounce when ready, Ladies.

*slipping through hinged portion of false wall, pivoting it shut and sliding all 75 deadbolts into position*

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 12:29 AM

---

Yippeee! I get The Boobie Prize.

posted by Boquisucio on March 1, 2006 4:33 PM

---

Judging by the shape the Moat Fleet is in, you got *that* when you popped back here after the Big Move...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 11:16 PM

---

OMG, Boq! Where do you find pics like that??
LOL!

posted by Barb on March 1, 2006 11:20 PM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

"The Coast Guard said the concerns reflected in the document ultimately were addressed. In a statement, the Coast Guard said other U.S. intelligence agencies were able to provide answers to the questions it raised."
Found here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060227/ap_on_go_ot/ports_security

Cheers
JMH

posted by J.M. Heinrichs on February 28, 2006 6:03 PM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

Dang! RIP. I must confess I haven't read her stuff, though I'm an SF nerd since shortly after learning to read. I must correct that omission immediately.

Now her agent and publishers, and estate, will get my money, instead of her. Owhell, dead artists always make more money than live ones do, and that does suck.

I think I'll listen to the wolf-howl file instead of the taps file, as the former comports more with what I feel like doing on this kind of occasion.

posted by Justthisguy on February 27, 2006 11:38 PM

---

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! (sound of Jtg beating brisket).

I sent the above before clicking on the MP3. When I did so I recognized "Fanfare for the Common Man", then looked at the top of the screen and saw it written there. Not Taps.

I still think the wolf howl suits my feelings better.

posted by Justthisguy on February 27, 2006 11:47 PM

---

She'd prefer Fanfare to the Wild Mourning, I think...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 1:09 AM

---

I'm NOT a sci-fi fan, but I did read one of her books and enjoyed it very much.

RIP

posted by April on February 28, 2006 10:36 AM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

Poofters? POOFTERS!

Splffffft!

posted by lex on February 27, 2006 8:38 AM

---

I echo Lex's comments and add one of my own:

"pfthbpfthbpfthbpfthbpfthbpfthb"

My cousin attended and is a happily married, retired jet jockey.

Poofters indeed.

posted by Cricket on February 27, 2006 9:24 AM

---

Ahhhhh. The sweet sound of successs!

Hee hee hee hee hee hee!

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 10:47 AM

---

When you say poofters do you mean Navy in general or airedales in specific?

posted by Maggie on February 27, 2006 11:39 AM

---

A quote famous from their spiritual predecessor:

"You say that I am ignoring the time-honored traditions of the Royal Navy? And what might they be? I shall tell you in three words. Rum, buggery, and the lash! Good morning sirs."

- Winston Churchill addressing the Sea Lords, 1912

Um, and I got that from here.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 11:52 AM

---

Yes, I see the Village People have signed a modeling contract for The Royal Navy. Where did they get the Gene Kelly get up?

And Cheech and Chong did something along those lines back in the 70s. But, since it is the Royal Navy and not the US Navy, well, I still think Navy guys are muy macho (having been courted by a few in my young and cute day. Don't believe me? I have a coupla pics somewheres...).

posted by Cricket on February 27, 2006 12:57 PM

---

Doubt that you were young and cute? If I was *that* dumb, I wouldn't have lived as long as I have.

The rest? Camouflage. They're tricky fellas, them poofters.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 1:15 PM

---

John - as I stated in email - you are evil. You are inciting the Navy people out of jealousy. I am with Cricket - Navy guys are the antithesis of poofters. You, and all your fellow service men are jealous of Navy guys in their cool dress whites. Lex said something a kid trying to decide between the airforce academy and the naval academy....there's a bar in some exotic place and there's a guy that every girl wants and that guy's in the Navy.....
BTW, got my tank top and slept in it last night. Just wanted you to know.

posted by Maggie on February 27, 2006 1:19 PM

---

having been courted by a few in my young and cute day. Don't believe me? I have a coupla pics somewheres... - Cricket

Doubt that you were young and cute? If I was *that* dumb, I wouldn't have lived as long as I have. - JoA

Not that we'll turn down young and cute Cricket pictures. :©)

posted by Masked Menace© on February 27, 2006 1:44 PM

---

And the Menace Lives Down To His Rep!

Maggie - I stand by my reporting! You Swabbie Doxies notwithstanding...

Speaking of pics...

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 2:07 PM

---

Yer on. I shall send them to the Donovan and he can post the ones that won't make the scrupl's hork.

Seriously speaking, all men in uniform are sexy.

*cleaning up the drool*

heh.

posted by Cricket on February 27, 2006 2:59 PM

---

Seriously speaking, all men in uniform are sexy.

Oh, yeah. *long, low sigh*

But there is just somethin' about those navy whites...

*swoon*

posted by FbL on February 27, 2006 3:10 PM

---

Sure do know how to stir the pot! And, cricket, bring em on.

posted by Counter Revolutionary on February 27, 2006 3:13 PM

---

Heh. Real men wear green.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 3:20 PM

---

*picks herself up from swoon*

All depends on how you define a real man, John. ;)

posted by FbL on February 27, 2006 3:25 PM

---

He's not wearing white shoes and a body stocking like some naval officer.

Or bell bottoms and a goofy hat.

Just sayin'.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 3:38 PM

---

poofters? most definitely. especially in the ice cream man suits...

posted by MajMike on February 27, 2006 3:56 PM

---

Whee! A support by fire position opens up!

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 4:21 PM

---

You guys are drowning in a sea of sour grapes!

LOL

I have to think about a pic - I'll let you know.

posted by Maggie on February 27, 2006 4:28 PM

---

Poster hanging on the wall of an FAA test pilot's office at ACY:

*depiction: two studly male ensigns (must've been cooks, cuz they were dressed in white) holding hands on the fantail

Down, PG-17C--DOWN, sirrah!

of an Aegis cruiser*

DOWN!!!

Caption above: The Navy. It's Not Just A Job.

Caption below: It's A Date...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 27, 2006 6:24 PM

---

Doxie? Is that supposed to incite some outrage?

I have never heard such adolescent mewling!

Bill - Your joke on the "date" thing? The Navy guys beat you to it. Their own joke is "it's not gay if you're underway". Being able to laugh at yourself is really sexy as well.

MajMike - Poor Mikey. Don't worry, I'm sure after all those guys in "ice cream suits" skim the creme de la creme (Cricket, FbL, myself) there will be some poor girl left for you. Really.

Real men wear black shoes. Sorry Lex, I'm sure you're great for an airedale.

posted by Maggie on February 27, 2006 11:19 PM

---

If you Army guys would wear the blue uniform more often, I betcha y'all would make a better impression on the wimmin. The War has been over for 140 years, it's OK to wear blue again. (Apologies to the shade of Harry Truman's Grandma)

posted by Justthisguy on February 28, 2006 12:13 AM

---

Yeah, but after you've been around a coupla wars, the blues aren't all blue any more--they get this stuff all over the front...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 12:50 AM

---

I think that the USN has always been a bit, shall we say, *sensitive* about the homo thing. Some think that the "mutiny" aboard USS Somers was about that. (Edward Beach among them)

I mind the turret fire in USS Iowa, and the NIS (aka homo police) trying to pin the blame on a homosexual love-triangle suicide pact, ignoring what Occam's Razor would have sliced for them, that it was really a perfectly ordinary cluster-f#@k that caused the thing. E.G., and this is just one of the guys who had a hand in it, there was a socially-awkward warrant gunner, who'd never managed to learn to drive a car, who contributed to the disaster by making up weird loads for the guns.
Sounds like an aspie to me. We are good at some MOSes, not others. Artillery would be cool, being action at a distance, but, well, most pieces are (yuck) *crew*-served.

There was the ship's captain at the time, an admiral-striker if there ever was one.... and on and on.

I mind something I heard Neal Boortz say on the radio the other day, talking about the "Reverend" Phelps; that people who doth protest too much about things like homosexuality may well be reacting against a temptation to do the thing themselves.

posted by Justthisguy on February 28, 2006 12:57 AM

---

Some things just look better on a background of white....

posted by Maggie on February 28, 2006 6:00 AM

---

Maggie, our shoes *are* black. Now, how you gonna deal with the dissin' you just gave SWWBO?

And, um, for the record, Cricket is married to a soldier, too...

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 28, 2006 7:20 AM

---

JTG - you must have been readin' last week's Army Times. There is a move afoot to do *exactly* that.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 28, 2006 7:21 AM

---

John - Stop trying to agitate. I most certainly did *not* diss SWWBO. My diss was directed precisely to you. The only thing implied about SWWBO was that she straightened you up.

posted by Maggie on February 28, 2006 9:11 AM

---

Uh, huh. Sure. Yep. You bet. Keep telling yourself that as you walk the dark streets.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 28, 2006 9:20 AM

---

LOL, you are utterly desperate! I am not afraid, SWWBO is much to reasonable to fall for this. I am sure she is wise to your manipulations.

posted by Maggie on February 28, 2006 9:29 AM

---

.....much too reasonable....

IPO

"to"

sorry, I was laughing too hard to type

posted by Maggie on February 28, 2006 9:33 AM

---

Oh wait! I get it. You are saying I am dissing SWWBO because I left her out of the creme de la creme comment. But I only included those SB Brigade members commenting in this thread. Had she been in here, I most certainly would have included her. Same goes for Cassandra, AFSis, etc. Cricket, FbL and I were the only SugarButtons babes in here.

Try again.

posted by Maggie on February 28, 2006 10:36 AM

---

I don't have to, you're on auto-pilot!

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 28, 2006 10:54 AM

---

Tsk. I don't how you could have omitted the Brigade's Small Arms Instructress...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 10:55 AM

---

« Dismissed, Soldier!

---

Um, yes, miss, the bustle, er, RACK is important, as is, um, the ammo RACK, um, uh, *drool*

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 10:48 AM

---

Nope, no, , not silicon! YEAH.

posted by V29 on February 25, 2006 11:02 AM

---

Nope, no, , not silicon! YEAH.

posted by V29 on February 25, 2006 11:03 AM

---

Sorry, V29, if that wins, you don't get *two*...

8^D

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 11:15 AM

---

Identified, hooters, load sabot, index HEP, from my position.....on the wayyyyyyyy.... oops. let me get you a handi wipe.

posted by Mudpuppy1975 on February 25, 2006 11:48 AM

---

Oy, Mudpuppy! Bad tanker! Sit! Stay!

JTG musta taken the PG-17 apart again...

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 12:02 PM

---

Target acquired - Already received a Hollow Charge without effect - Let's give'er a Base Detonating Squash Head. On its way!!!

posted by Boquisucio on February 25, 2006 12:34 PM

---

*whispering* "...do not feel my hand. You do not feel my hand. You will remember nothing when you awaken. You do not..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Yeah, if I wuz an Aviator, I know which valley I'd be flyin' some NOE down..."

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 25, 2006 1:09 PM

---

Ooooops ssssorry about the double double post post. My fingers are still still quivering quivering!!!!!!

posted by V29 on February 25, 2006 1:15 PM

---

'T ain't my *finger* thats quivering...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 25, 2006 1:19 PM

---

"Whats she got in her full bodices, eh, Gollom? Could it be the preciouses that could fit in my pocketses? We wants them, yes we does!"

Nothing could wipe the smirk and drool off the CO's face...nothing except a full exposure.

posted by Cricket on February 25, 2006 1:43 PM

---

Oooh Honey, I AM at attention!

posted by Jeff Soyer on February 25, 2006 1:45 PM

---

Silver Bullet... Load!

posted by JohnW on February 25, 2006 1:54 PM

---

Warrant Officer K.A. Nook: "If only I could set that Mike to Vibrate..."

posted by Boquisucio on February 25, 2006 1:57 PM

---

"Great, 27 years on the job and they send breast augmentation Barbie to interview me."

posted by Murray on February 25, 2006 2:08 PM

---

Hey, waidaminnit! Somebody is playing out of their lane here...!

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 2:10 PM

---

Thuurrrpthtt!

And answer your email too.

posted by Murray on February 25, 2006 2:14 PM

---

Murray, you weren't the target of that comment. The target of that note knows *exactly* who he is.

And what email? Guess I'd better check what the spamfilter has been up to.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 2:25 PM

---

"Hmmm, pension or 5 seconds? Pension or 5 seconds? Well, they'll never notice me looking. 5 seconds. Great googly moogly!"

posted by ry on February 25, 2006 3:02 PM

---

hmm,,,... if *I* was hiding WMD's, there ain't many places less obvious, so MAYBE I should do a little inspection...

OR

Nice mik handling skills there darlin'. Ya know, *MY* name is Mike...

posted by tomwright on February 25, 2006 3:25 PM

---

I slipped! It's these rented shoes! Wound up throwing a gutter ball in the other guys' lane...

posted by Jeff Soyer on February 25, 2006 3:37 PM

---

Admit it! You have an anti-tanker spam setting!!!!

posted by Murray on February 25, 2006 3:43 PM

---

Now... during the demonstration, let's call it "The Microphone".

You start by grabing "The Microphone" by the base as such, and then...

posted by Boquisucio on February 25, 2006 3:57 PM

---

Are you sure that's not 1SG Keith?

posted by AFSister on February 25, 2006 4:01 PM

---

"Hey, Grip? Tell the producer I won't need that satellite uplink until, oh, say, 'bout an hour from now. Okay?"

posted by MaryAnn on February 25, 2006 4:01 PM

---

Nah, it couldn't be 1Sgt Keith, his face isn't blue enough.

posted by Boquisucio on February 25, 2006 4:04 PM

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Admit it! You have an anti-tanker spam setting!!!!

No, that's just the intellect filter. Note the sign: "Your spot on the bell curve must be at least *this* far to the right before you can play..."

Works, too! How many Kossacks or Depleted Uraniacs you seen 'round here?

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 4:06 PM

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Are you sure that's not 1SG Keith?

While I'm sure it's a spirit-brother of 1SG Keith (and many others in here), unless the Top has moved 1 Army north of here, no.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 4:08 PM

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*Canadian thought bubble*

Eyes on the prize, baby.... eyes on the prize.

*Barbie thought bubble*

Like Ohmygawd! I've never had an electric one before- all of mine take batteries!

posted by Were-Kitten on February 25, 2006 4:11 PM

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Time spent in recce is never wasted.

Cheers
JMH

posted by J.M. Heinrichs on February 25, 2006 4:12 PM

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JMH, izzat a caption, or a comment? 8^D

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 25, 2006 4:15 PM

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Do you realise how much damage this tank would suffer if I let it roll right over you?

None

at

all.

posted by Murray on February 25, 2006 4:20 PM

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Tanker:

Six months on a "dry" base in Kabul,eating dust, seeing women in Burkas and anorexic goats. Now this. Thank you God.

Miss:
Dear god, what was I thinking, all of these men just got off a plane from Kabul. "Ok Boys, back off, close your mouths, stop drooling, you are live on camera and I've got a mic."

posted by Fred on February 25, 2006 4:36 PM

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"THIS is what I'm fighting for!".

posted by Garys on February 25, 2006 4:49 PM

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What did you say their er.. your name was?

posted by bc on February 25, 2006 6:19 PM

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So how did the Canadians do in curling at the Olympics?

posted by Harry on February 25, 2006 7:33 PM

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(Thought balloon over the guy's head)

"Is it real, or is it Mammorex?"

(Shamelessly stolen from SatNiteLive of decades ago, when they were still funny.)

posted by Justthisguy on February 25, 2006 8:20 PM

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COL Prescott explained that in today's global environment, both hemispheres figure prominently.

posted by Passerby on February 25, 2006 11:14 PM

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"Reverend Lowry was wrong, the Weapons of Mass Distraction are right here, right there, ooooooooh they are RIGHT FRIGGEN THERE!!!"

posted by wickedpinto on February 25, 2006 11:45 PM

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Okay, it's a caption, as in:

"Time spent in Recce is seldom wasted."

Taken from the list of aphorisms used when learning about Time Appreciation during Battle Procedure. This particular aphorism is especially useful when plotting one's route to the Objective(s).

Cheers
JMH

posted by J.M. Heinrichs on February 26, 2006 12:15 AM

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Target Lock, Firfe (or Lunge)

Get ur mind outta da gutter!

posted by jmiked on February 26, 2006 1:56 AM

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Target Lock, Firfe (or Lunge)

Get ur mind outta da gutter!

posted by jmiked on February 26, 2006 1:56 AM

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Sorry about the double post. Not sure how it happened. Other than I may be spastic!

posted by jmiked on February 26, 2006 1:59 AM

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"Will this be radio...or TV? Cuz if its radio I've always wanted to turn the knobs...."

posted by BloodSpite on February 26, 2006 9:19 AM

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AP Wire: Noble innocent journal-woman sexually harassed by big bad evil military guy.
This is Canada after all...

posted by Chad on February 26, 2006 9:38 AM

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I'd like to get hull down in that defalade.

posted by Outlaw13 on February 26, 2006 10:37 AM

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"So here we are with Sergeant Harper, who as well as being one of the Coalition's Canadian troops is also about to give us a demonstration of Canada's National sport, Beaverwatching."

posted by dangerouslysubversivedad on February 26, 2006 11:47 AM

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It's all aboot the boobies.

posted by Cowboy Blob on February 26, 2006 4:37 PM

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(sultry voice) "Tell me soldier, is the pickle hot?"

posted by Rodney Dill on February 26, 2006 5:15 PM

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"Soooooo, tell me, Mizz Cassandra, what made you decide to put the trivet on such a looooong chain, eh?"

Nah, that's just *too* inside to work.

On the o.h.--why not...

*click*

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 26, 2006 8:39 PM

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Dammit, Chief, you can do better than that!

I've seen yer (evil) work!

posted by Jusstthisguy on February 27, 2006 12:08 AM

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I'm married, I'm married, I'm married... must not look, must not look... oh honey, what a nice microphone... yeah, that's it...

posted by GM Roper on February 27, 2006 5:48 AM

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Puerile thought bubble:

"...what's worse than a storm???? ...what's worse than a storm????"
"Wait for it...."

posted by dc on February 27, 2006 6:13 AM

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Soldier thought bubble

"homina homina homina homina"

posted by AFSister on February 27, 2006 7:30 AM

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"..so there i was, standing at the top of the draw, looking out at the tops of the majestic mountains heading south into the valley of death, when all of a sudden, up pops a monkey in the coconut grove..."

posted by MajMike on February 27, 2006 8:36 AM

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"Damn...She's F'in Hot!"

At least that's what I was thinking (with no apostrophe action).

posted by Digger on February 27, 2006 8:50 AM

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Folks, Warrant Officer Bloggins is thinking precisely NOTHING in this photo. He CAN'T think, the blood supply to his brain having been entirely diverted elsewhere.

posted by Damian on February 27, 2006 9:12 AM

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And I thought Canadians were subtle.

posted by Ryan Gill on February 27, 2006 9:33 AM

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"Will you tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes?"

posted by Holly Aho on February 27, 2006 10:25 AM

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Thought balloon of drooling Military Guy:
"yeah, that's it honey, get the mic a little closer to your..."
Bimbette Reporter Babe interrupts with question:
"So, Chief, what would be the most difficult obstacle to face in mounting an operation?"
DMG:
"Uh, well, uh, that would be uh, sending out a recon party, and uh, getting people to perform at peak efficiency and uh...What was the question?"

posted by Cricket on February 27, 2006 10:44 AM

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I still think that's 1SG Keith- or at least his nearly-as-evil Canadian twin brother.

posted by AFSister on February 27, 2006 10:52 AM

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So you say the food you missed the most while on deployment was fresh ripe mellons, eh.

posted by 74 on February 27, 2006 11:02 AM

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AFSis - *all* us guys are that Canadian Major's Spirit Brother...

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 11:13 AM

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Major Canada:

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Fembot:

"Uh..dude, he's like, boring holes with his eyes. I mean, if he, like, doesn't stop, my silicon is going to explode. Does he, like, know we're on national TV and told his wife to be watchiing?"

posted by kat-missouri on February 27, 2006 11:24 AM

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German field reporter, Hicleav Ahg, interviews Canadian Tanker, Major Mel Ahns, about his techniques for navigating through mountainous terrain while keeping his main gun tracking the target.

posted by Masked Menace© on February 27, 2006 11:27 AM

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The Canadian Defence Forces would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that we are firmly in the fight against breast cancer. We, like soldiers across the globe, are ready to tackle the situation with both hands. We will march whatever distance it takes, to save the boobies!

Please consult the following URL for locations and dates near you http://www.pinkribbon.com/

In Canada
http://walking.about.com/od/breastcancerwalks/p/endbcwalk.htm

In the US
http://www.the3day.org/site/pp.asp?c=ciKTLcPRLvF&b=297924
http://walk.avonfoundation.org/site/PageServer?pagename=walk_homepage

posted by Story on February 27, 2006 11:28 AM

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Yes Maam, we're all trained observers.

posted by Clive Law on February 27, 2006 12:22 PM

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Says he;
"I don't care if you're a trained professional, you ain't sticking that up my ..."

posted by Clive Law on February 27, 2006 12:25 PM

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"Wow, nice microphone."

posted by Peace Moonbeam on February 27, 2006 12:56 PM

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Major Mal Ahns takes on Taw Dre DeeVine.

posted by Cricket on February 27, 2006 1:00 PM

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Major Smedley stalls for time by making a ppppppppprrrrrrrrrrrttt sound with his lips as he tries desperately to remember his name, rank, and/or service number, and whether his wife will be watching the news later, while Benny Hill's theme song plays in the backround and Little Trixie wishes she had interviewed someone else.......... anyone else.

posted by jim b on February 27, 2006 2:45 PM

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Canadian thought bubble: "Five, four, three..."

Fembot: "Thanks guys but it's not really hot enough for me to need that CoolMist fan pointed right at me"

posted by KCSteve on February 27, 2006 2:50 PM

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AFSis, why of course that's...not.... mmmm..uh... where was eye...was I... I'm not the type that would stare at... round.... soft... curvy.... what? um.. I mean... daaaammmnnn.......

posted by 1SG Keith on February 27, 2006 2:51 PM

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While concealing himself as a female reporter...... Alhammad Massood Mahandra wanders into the tank pool, where he is confronted by Col Boogey of the Royal Canadian Mounted Explosive Ordinance Disposal, and Storm Door Repair Company. The good Colonel is not deceived by the twin 3" rockets that Massoud has secreted about his person, and is at this very moment concidering his options as to how to defuse the situation.

posted by jim b on February 27, 2006 2:53 PM

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Heeeyy...

I still think that's 1SG Keith- or at least his nearly-as-evil Canadian twin brother.

nearly-as-evil????

The Canadians don't even come close......

posted by 1SG Keith on February 27, 2006 2:56 PM

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nearly-as-evil????

I dunno, Top, he *is* an officer, and field grade at that.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 3:19 PM

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"...there I was, at the Battle of El Kabong, up to me arse in shell casings, when I got this bit of a scrape right through me knickers.. wanna see the scar?"

posted by MajMike on February 27, 2006 4:47 PM

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Heh. field officers.... chew 'em up, spit 'em out...

posted by 1SG on February 27, 2006 5:42 PM

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Snerk! Never bested by a 1SG after I commanded... and only once by my 1SG *while* I commanded.

Dream on, baby.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 6:43 PM

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Only had to do the "Put on the coffee, Top--we're in for a long night with these reports" one single time.

Might've had something to do with it being a Saturday night, though. Most other nights, neither of us escaped until after 2100...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 27, 2006 7:03 PM

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Well, haven't HAD the opportunity yet, as a first sergeant, to 'best' my commander, but I have 'doinked' a few LT's and Capt's... Which reminds me of two particular events that just may be the subject of a new post. I'll have to find a few photos from the archives for that.... hehe...

posted by 1SG Keith on February 27, 2006 8:49 PM

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Oh, sure, pick on the *easy* targets, Keith.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 27, 2006 8:53 PM

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Geez - I had no idea that a simple pix of a sound amplifying device, a crusty ol' tanker from the North, and a little tart was going to be object of so much fun here at The Castle.

posted by Boquisucio on February 27, 2006 9:21 PM

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Just a point on accuracy in photo interpetation: the not-very-visible male (on the left of the photo) is wearing the rank insignia of a Warrant Officer, vice a Major.

He (the male in the photo) is the equivalent of a platoon or company Sergeant in 'another' Army. He (the male in the photo) is highly experienced at handling technically complex situations, but is not necessarily well-versed in diplomatic interactivity.

Cheers
JMH

posted by J.M. Heinrichs on February 27, 2006 11:07 PM

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How could a tanker not notice cannons like this ?

or possibly

MediaGirl: They told me this is where I could find the big guns

Tanker Thought balloon
... Did she say Big Guns or bigin's ?
Yes !!!! is still the answer !!!

posted by MorningSun on February 27, 2006 11:19 PM

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CAPT H - oops. I forgot you guys went all Air Force/France on your officer rank insiginia.

I just saw a crown, and thought Major.

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 28, 2006 6:52 AM

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Tanker Thought balloon:
"I just LOVE tarts that are about to pop!"

posted by Cricket on February 28, 2006 8:38 AM

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A Dot - A Dot. I think she just droped a Polka Dot.

posted by Boquisucio on February 28, 2006 9:37 AM

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crowns don't equal Field Grade anymore??

damn, scratch one more thing i thought i had down pat.

posted by MajMike on February 28, 2006 9:41 AM

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well, now that we think he's a Warrant, doesn't that mean we get one more chance to enter the contest??

technical WO thought bubble "..dang, that reminds me, i gotta get the big guns in for their quarterly bore scope and pull-over.."

posted by MajMike on February 28, 2006 9:45 AM

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John, I hate it when you use my photo without permission...

posted by Cassandra on February 28, 2006 9:48 AM

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...well, now that we think he's a Warrant, doesn't that mean we get one more chance to enter the contest??

If you're thinking of going in the direction of a 27" zipper snark, he's too young, too heavy and too male-pattern balding to be me...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 9:54 AM

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Cassie's just getting used to appearing as a blonde in these pages...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 10:02 AM

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So... it's Tuesday evening... Who's the winner?

posted by JohnW on February 28, 2006 5:03 PM

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Sorry, I told John he was going to have to warn me explicitly when the contest was over. I've been working pretty much around the clock for the past three weeks. I didn't even get dinner until almost ten pm last night.

You'll have it by tomorrow.

posted by Cassandra on February 28, 2006 5:15 PM

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Cassie's judgin' tonight. We'll see whenever she gets done!

posted by John of Argghhh! on February 28, 2006 5:17 PM

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Yeah darlin', that's me.

You have managed to capture the very essence of me :D Do you have any idea of the low-lifes who surf into my site looking for that picture all the time?

posted by Cassandra on February 28, 2006 5:38 PM

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Heh. Pock 'em with the trivet while they're squeezed into the corner trying to be inconspicuous, then steer 'em here.

Schlusselheim can use the traffic.

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 7:23 PM

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Hmmmm. Wonder if we'll break a hundred comments...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 7:25 PM

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Yeah, I think so. Even with Two-Niner's twitchy Post-It finger...

Heh. We gotta tell them about the Mike Boat that took the RPG west of Moc Hoa. Considering what you had to do to get them outta there, I *know* I can work in somethin' about poofters on floaters...

posted by cw4(ret)billt on February 28, 2006 7:36 PM

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Oooh. John's giving out explicit warnings!

*gets favorite chair and non alcoholic beverage*

Let the games begin.

posted by Cricket on February 28, 2006 7:44 PM

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*flourish of trumpets as the denizen(ne)s enter*

*flourish of crumpets as the castle kitchen staff enters*

*flourish of strumpets as the castle camp followers enter*

*flourish of muppets as the scruples enter*

Okay--who brought the cards and the football bats?

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 7:32 AM

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trumpets, crumpets and muppets oh my!

posted by Cricket on March 1, 2006 7:56 AM

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The hills are *indeed* alive with music.

posted by No Name on March 1, 2006 8:04 AM

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Ohhh, yeah--*that* woulda been a multilevel caption!

posted by cw4(ret)billt on March 1, 2006 8:09 AM

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At first I thought it was Michelle Malkin.

posted by fizzix on March 1, 2006 1:39 PM

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« Dismissed, Soldier!