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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Over...

January 6, 2006 | | Comments (62) | TrackBacks (1)

Ever since there have been civilizations, there have been military organizations, and there have been military leaders who have been given affectionate nicknames by their men.

Howlin’ Mad Smith.

31-Knot Burke.

Bomber Harris.

And in this time-honored tradition, I, too, have recently been screwed over had a nicknamed bestowed upon me.

Sugar Buttons.

Oh, I’ve had nicks before, but of all the asinine, kick-in-the-nuts, teeth-grinding endearing cutsie-poo bullshit pet names I’ve had stuck up my been tagged with, I must confess that the latest friggin’ sophomoric effort one has frosted my balls touched me the most, since it was given to me by a pack of back-stabbing weaselettes the Denizennes.

Now, about this Sugar Buttons thang. It’s a type of candy that was popular in the 50s and is currently undergoing a resurgence in that popularity--Retro is still alive and well. Although the manufacturer calls ‘em Candy Buttons and they’re known by that moniker world-wide, except, evidently, in São Paulo, Brazil and Cincinnati, Ohio, out of deference to the Denizenne who tagged me, I’ll keep it Sugar Buttons.

They’re the subject of fond memory...

Candy Buttons memories... Candy buttons on the paper card were always a treat for those of us who liked to play "hospital." If I somehow got some of them, I would round up a couple other children - someone always had one of those little plastic "doctor's bags" that contained a play stethoscope, a headband with a funny mirror, and a pretend syringe. We'd stuff the candy buttons in the bag, and the doctor would make rounds.

Heh. Playing “Doctor” without Candy Buttons/Sugar Buttons on hand? Unthinkable...

Rock hard, sweet and they come in three different flavors.

So, I guess I really *am* Sugar Buttons…

Sooooo, now it’s time to name the unit. Something catchy and alliterative, like Merrill’s Marauders, or Kane’s Killers...

...or the Sugar Buttons Brigade.

Presenting the Second Squad of the First Platoon, Delta Company, Third Battalion.

The rest of the Brigade is bivouaced in the Jungle Room--I’ve got a busy training schedule lined up.

Squad--‘Ha-Tennnn-SHUN! Hot Tub Drill---Move out!

Sugar Buttons, eh?

Bite me! Later, y'awl.

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Bigger-Better-Faster-More from NIF on January 6, 2006 7:13 AM

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62 Comments

By John of Argghhh! on January 6, 2006 7:21 AM
Heh. NIF *used* to be a fairly regular linker... I see his interests have changed... 8^D
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 7:29 AM
OMG.... I cannot stop laughing. *ohh... my aching sides!* We love our SUGAR BUTTONS! ;-)
 
By Barb on January 6, 2006 8:05 AM
Three flavors, eh? Now that's an interesting revelation. Oooh... Hot Tub Drill!
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 8:19 AM
John - I left a nice note for TJ--I was wondering where he'd gone. And if you change the banner to the Home of Two of Jonah's Military Guys + Sugar Buttons, I'll clue Kat in about just *where* all those fecund squirrels with the FedEx tags and Kansas twangs have been coming from... AFSis - What's so funny? *YOU* were the one who came up with it... BTW, the Castle's standing for "Sugar Buttons" in Google has moved up nicely. Are you still number one for "John Donovan's water sports"...?
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 8:20 AM
You got a point Bill. It is less than awe inspiring to heat the Command; Fall in for Commander SugarButtons. Course it would be worse if you were in charge of a bunch of WAC(o)s. I can just see the terrorist commander with your photo on his desk briefing his staff .... this is the thing on my mind today, gentlemen, this is my opposite number, Commander SugarButtons. Hangon.... I gotta wipe the laugh tears from my eyes ... back later. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 8:52 AM
Jim - I keep tellin' ya, you've gotta pay attention to rank structure around milblogs. Commander = Salamander. He writes -- ooops -- wrong 'phibian. He writes interesting stuff like this. Chief = Me. I write stuff with a limited appeal but a wide circulation. Heh.
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 8:59 AM
You just said a mouthfull there Chief. I appreciate the brief. The rank structure in here is confusing to a newbie. Mea Copa
 
By Were-Kitten on January 6, 2006 9:08 AM
Jim- Just wait until the Scruples start talking. Then you'll REALLY be confused. (did you remember your boxers today...darlin'?)
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 9:21 AM
Bill- I am! I am still #1 on Google for "John Donovan" watercraft. Yay me! Of course, I've also gotten hits lately with searches like "we've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it", "answer the phone brainless vin", "der flicke stoobin mit", and "explosion nappy poo". But my most recent intersting one is "sister boobs giggling in air when brother sees it without bra"- and I'm #1 on Google for that search too! Yay Me! #1 out of 22,300 for "sister boobs giggling in air when brother sees it without bra". Who'd a thunk it?
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 9:27 AM
oh. Does this mean we can officially call you "CW4SugarButtons(ret)"?? *ducking and running for cover*
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 9:29 AM
Well, geez, Sis, that wouldn't surprise anybody who's been around longer than -- say -- last week?
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 9:40 AM
And the answer to your question is: a. no. b. no. c. no. d. no. e. no %$#@!ing way. Take your pick. Despite the apparent similarities in each answer, there is only one correct reply.
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 6, 2006 9:54 AM
...and I'm #1 on Google for that search too! Yay Me! #1 out of 22,300 for "sister boobs giggling in air when brother sees it without bra". Who'd a thunk it? Whodathunk there were 22,300 *entries* for "sister boobs giggling in air when brother sees it without bra"
 
By Maggie on January 6, 2006 9:57 AM
The few, the proud, the SugarButtons Brigade! I'm terribly proud.
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 10:02 AM
I just know that the real second squad of the 1st of the D of the 3rd B has gotta be hiding in the hills (not those hills) waaaaaaaaay behind those wimmins standing there so proudly with shotguns. Those wimmins must be "virgin" decoys for terrorists.
 
By Mr Bob on January 6, 2006 10:29 AM
thanks for the laugh this morning, I needed it! the strikeouts were especially funny. I'd be pretty pissed if I got that nickname too...he ehehehe buwahahaha
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 10:33 AM
Whodathunk there were 22,300 *entries* for "sister boobs giggling in air when brother sees it without bra" Somewhere in Beijing there's an internet cafe with a *serious* Great Hall Echo... Maggie - The "few"? Dream on. Oh, all right. The really, really few... Jim - They're not all toting shotguns and they *sure* ain't wirginz...
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 10:37 AM
Aha--no wonder I had trouble accessing the comments box... Nice touch. And 39 more visitors between clicking "post" and then re-opening.
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 10:47 AM
I felt a surge in the force. I was in the process of noting that the Dude layin back on the helo-go-peter in the upper right of the helo banner was tagged Sugar Buttons. Snicker. But by the time the force quieted down it was gone.
 
By Maggie on January 6, 2006 10:51 AM
Mr. Bob is so very, very jealous.
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 6, 2006 10:59 AM
The Force has many swirls and eddies in the Castle... you might see it again.
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 11:36 AM
+ Sugar Buttons.... I am in soooooooooo much trouble!
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 11:41 AM
Jim - That was no surge, it was a visual glurge. And it's well known that *certain* Denizens were seduced to the Snark Side of the Farce years ago... It looks like the start of an interesting afternoon. Throw on another pot of Gevalia.
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 11:42 AM
Psssst AFSister, avoid self incrimination at all costs. Where did they leave that "clue" bat?
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 11:44 AM
*sits in corner... innocently blinking and sipping 'rita*
 
By Fuzzybear Lioness on January 6, 2006 11:55 AM
Btw, Bill... you may want to check out the goings-on at Lex's place. The Sugar Buttons Contagion has spread. *grin*
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 11:57 AM
So... does that mean if I google Sugar Buttons, I come up with the "Chief"? Another "Living Legend" in the making.
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 6, 2006 12:00 PM
Bill - "Denizens"... plural?
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 12:06 PM
What, you thought I'd have an uncontrollable attack of modesty?
 
By Were-Kitten on January 6, 2006 12:19 PM
I'll have you all know that I was a perfectly normal Kitten until I showed up here. Then one day, someone waved a magic joystick over me and *POOF*... Were-Kitten emerged. I've been trying to control her ever since, but she's got a mind of her own and fingers that just trip across the keyboard when Sis isn't looking. Oh- I had NOTHING to do with the nasty comments left by "Kitten" on Capt. B's latest post. Must have been some evil Clinton Calico offspring. Now... where did I leave my new dance cd? It has some kickin' pole music on it.....
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 12:23 PM
jim b sips coffee sits back and waits some "chick" to write a song called, "The Ballot of Sugar Buttons", then publish it here.
 
By MCart on January 6, 2006 12:51 PM
Might want to slap a not-so-work-safe label on that thing... Some of us will just click any old link...
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 12:56 PM
Kat, I think Jim's calling you out on this one. Think you can do it justice like you did the "big guns" song?
 
By kat-missouri on January 6, 2006 1:00 PM
The Ballad of Sugar Buttons Sugar Buttons upon his chest Different flavors, 'cause their the best One hundred buttons, we'll eat today Sugar buttons on the candy tray Trained to live, from kitten's hands Pass the buttons, hand to hand Men who eat, both night and day All the buttons, from the candy tray At the castle, a denizenne waits For her sugar buttons on a silver plate We don't like them sugar less So we leave, this one request Sugar Buttons upon his chest Different flavors, 'cause their the best One hundred buttons, we'll eat today Sugar buttons on the candy tray
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 6, 2006 1:01 PM
MCart - ya shoulda seen it before the PG-17C got to it with the airbrush...
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 1:03 PM
Tray, schmay. Those things are *cold*...
 
By kat-missouri on January 6, 2006 1:07 PM
He's a button, she's a button wouldn't you like to be a button too?
 
By MCart on January 6, 2006 1:11 PM
I thought it looked a tad censored, but I didn't have a whole lot of time to examine it..
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 1:14 PM
....and 4 minutes later, she's taking up the challenge and posting the Ballad! ROFLMAO! Personally, I prefer my sugar buttons on something softer than a tray, though. Even the floor will do in a pinch. 5 SECOND RULE DOES NOT, I REPEAT, NOT APPLY TO SUGAR BUTTONS FOUND ON THE FLOOR.
   
By jim b on January 6, 2006 1:18 PM
Kinda makes you feel like the "Last of the Minute Men" peekin at that doesn't it?
 
By kat-missouri on January 6, 2006 1:20 PM
I like big buttons and I cannot lie You other sisters can't deny When you see a sugar button on the floor You eat them up and beg for more...
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 1:25 PM
heh. I just like buttons that work. REALLY good.
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 1:26 PM
Looking at the recently written Ballad I would say, musical back-up requires a fiddle, a base, a jug player (no pun intended) and maybe a harmonica. Danicing would obviously include a do-se-do or so.
 
By kat-missouri on January 6, 2006 1:28 PM
Buttons that work? As in physical labor for money?
 
By kat-missouri on January 6, 2006 1:31 PM
Jim don't you recognize the Ballad of the Green Berets? It requires horns and drums...
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 1:32 PM
And a club.
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 6, 2006 1:34 PM
Dangit - I was holding out for the jugs. Depending on who was providing 'em, I was gonna volunteer to be the one to play 'em!
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 1:35 PM
Just don't go trying to pull the corks out with yer teeth...
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 1:36 PM
Well Kat now that you hummed a few bars, I guess we can all fake it.
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 1:37 PM
"99 bottles of beer on the waaallllll..."
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 6, 2006 1:40 PM
Huh? What? "Kat gives hummers in bars?" That's not right! I've been in bars with her and never once seen/gotten a hummber! Huh? (Bill whispers in John's ear). Oh. "Well Kat now that you hummed a few bars" Never mind.
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 1:40 PM
Oh, right. Say "Fake it" in front of the SugarButtons Brigade. Thanks a lot...
 
By jim b on January 6, 2006 1:41 PM
okay time to log off and go burn a couple of disks. Don't anyone touch my stuff while I am gone.
 
By AFSister on January 6, 2006 1:42 PM
John- I had no idea you were so musically inclined! Next time you're giving a concert, you ought to tape it for the rest of us. Share that God-given talent, man! OH!!! Kat- Can I play drums? I have good rhythm, know how to finesse a pair of sticks in my hands, and I can even change the heads if one breaks!
 
By Were-Kitten on January 6, 2006 1:48 PM
Bill... Honey. Sweetheart. Sugar Buttons. We only fake it when we have to. But oohhhhhhh myyyyyyy GOOOOOD... YES YES YES.... OHHHHH BABY! it's good!
 
By cw4(ret)billt on January 6, 2006 2:03 PM
See ya found Muffy's chok'lit stash...
 
By Cricket on January 6, 2006 2:05 PM
So, if he is Sugar-Buttons, and in typical milspeak we have to give the last name first and first name last, his initials would be *B-S* *hunting for mushrooms for chicken pie*
 
By kat-missouri on January 6, 2006 2:30 PM
I ride in hummers I don't give them. That's the State department's job, or chic's named monica. Af...it does require excellent rhythm if you're going to avoid fakeness.
 
By Fuzzybear Lioness on January 6, 2006 5:28 PM
Absolutely, Cricket! :D
 
By MCart on January 6, 2006 10:47 PM
Now, I could be wrong, but i'm thinking your PG-17 needs a firmware update.. :)
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 7, 2006 8:28 AM
C'mon, MCart - we *fixed* the PG-17 after someone loaded a euphemism dictionary. You see worse than this on prime-time broadcast television...
 
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