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January 7, 2006

Murtha's "Semper Fidelis" Moment

It is often said there's no such thing as a "former Marine".

On that point, Jack Murtha seems bound and determined to challenge the conventional wisdom. An enormous controversy was launched recently after he proposed we renege on promises made to Iraq, Afghanistan, and our coalition allies to stay the course. Rep. Murtha wanted the United States to strategically "redeploy" its fighting men and women to a safer location, leaving the people of Iraq and Afghanistan defenseless against brutal terrorists who could, after all, simply take part in the democratic process if all they wanted was a voice in the emerging government. I have a question for Rep. Murtha: what, exactly, makes him think a ruthlessly unprincipled enemy will suddenly stop the killing when the only protectors of the emerging democracy are whisked across the border to safety?

streamers.jpg Rep. Murtha's "plan" was enshrined in the unassailable sanctity of a combat veteran's admirable service to this nation. No one, we were told, could question his motives, or his patriotism. Not even, it appeared, another Marine: one who had the temerity to speak publicly what any Marine with any sense at all was thinking privately: that his "plan" flew in the face of 200 years of proud Marine Corps history. Attend any ceremony where Marines gather and you'll see something special: the Marine Battle Colors. During the color ceremony, you'll watch the Marine flag lowered proudly, as it should be, in deference to the stars and stripes: Old Glory. But if you're lucky, you may also get to see another brave sight flying in the stiff breeze. The Marine battle streamers. One for each engagement the Marines have fought in over their long and glorious history. And on the unofficial Marine emblem appear these words: "These Colors Don't Run".

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Marines take those words seriously. Dead seriously. Because a lot of men - good men - have died to earn the reputation the United States Marine Corps enjoys throughout the world. They are respected, and feared, wherever they go. They command the field.

They do not leave it in the hands of the enemy, despite what Representative Murtha would like to see us do. And despite the waggling fingers of Democrats like Harold Ford, there was absolutely nothing wrong with Colonel Danny Bubp taking a fellow Marine down a peg on the House floor that day. Marines police their own ranks. They have always done so. One Marine is never afraid to take another to task when he thinks honor is at stake. And they all have a stake in the future of their Corps. And their country.

General Peter Pace, USMC, did so again the other day when Rep. Murtha stepped out of line and damaged our recruiting efforts, and rightly so. I commend him for having the courage to speak out. It must have been difficult for him. Military men do not like to involve themselves in matters political. General Pace should not have been placed in that position:

"That's damaging to recruiting," Pace said. "It's damaging to morale of the troops who are deployed, and it's damaging to the morale of their families who believe in what they are doing to serve this country."
Representative Murtha might do well, if he can find a quiet moment when he is not listening to the sound of his own voice, to consider the motto of the Marine Corps:
Semper Fidelis

It is a short one, for Marines are men of few words, preferring deeds to flowery expressions of feelings. It means "Always faithful". A Marine considers it his highest duty to be faithful: to his country, to his Corps, to what is right. Rep. Murtha might ask himself, to what has he demonstrated faithfulness?

His nation has made commitments to its coalition allies and to two nations which are now dependent on us: Iraq, Afghanistan. Whether or not he likes the cost of those commitments, an honorable nation does not shirk its duty once it makes a promise.

The Marine Corps will have a future that extends beyond this war...or perhaps it won't, if he has anything to do with it. Enlistment rates, whether or not the war lasts, have an impact far down the road. If his words have half the impact he hopes they will have, what damage is he doing to the future of the Marine Corps? Does he even care?

Certainly his words are having an impact now. Consider this news item:

Al-Qaida's No. 2, Ayman al-Zawahri, said in a videotape aired Friday that the United States' decision to withdraw some troops from Iraq represented "the victory of Islam" and called on Muslims to attack oil sites.

Al-Zawahri, wearing a white turban and gray robe and seated next to an automatic rifle, waved his finger for emphasis as he spoke in the two-minute excerpt aired by Al-Jazeera.

"I congratulate (the Islamic nation) for the victory of Islam in Iraq," he said.

You remember I told you more than a year ago that the American withdrawal from Iraq is only a matter of time, and here they are now ... negotiating with the mujahedeen," al-Zawahri said.

"Bush was forced at the end of last year to announce that he will pull out his forces from Iraq, but he was giving excuses for his withdrawal that the Iraqi forces have reached a good level."


This news, of course, is very worrisome to many on Capitol Hill. Rep. Murtha is certainly worried. He appears to have finally realized the impact of his words:

Appearing at a town meeting in Arlington, Virginia, with fellow Democratic Rep. James Moran, Murtha said, "A year ago, I said we can't win this militarily, and I got all kinds of criticism." Now, Murtha told the strongly antiwar audience, "I worry about a slow withdrawal which makes it look like there's a victory when I think it should be a redeployment as quickly as possible and let the Iraqis handle the whole thing."
You remember... those would be those Iraqi forces that Murtha says "aren't ready and will never be ready". That's why we need to skedaddle...err...redeploy as soon as possible. And we see what the response of al Qaida is to the withdrawal of our troops.

Attack. Full speed ahead.

It would appear that the question of just who Mr. Murtha is "faithful" to has been definitively answered. Al-Jazeera and Mr. al-Zawahri certainly like what he has to say. It seems, so far, only to be his fellow Marines who disagree with him.
And combat vets who know what it's really like in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by Cassandra on Jan 07, 2006 | Politics
» A Blog For All links with: Murtha's Mess

Happy Anniversary SWWBO!

I've been married for over 20 years now.

Yet this is my *first* 8th Anniversary.

This is why that is so:

Happy Anniversary, Sweetie. I love you.

The *best* posts are always so simple to write.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 07, 2006 | Shameless sucking up to the wife. | Something for the Soul

January 6, 2006

The Veep Speaks at Fort Leavenworth...

...and this milblogger was present and reports out.

First Sergeants.

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1st Sgt. Fidelito Ordonio, first sergeant with Co. A, TF 1-27 INF, stands against a wall with Sahilia elementary school students during the dedication of the school March 3.

Ahh, the First Sergeant. The Spine of the Company/Battery/Troop. Sometimes known as the First Shirt.

This is a story about a 1st Sergeant. In a First Shirt mode.

Top Sergeants are the unit Bearer of Standards. Yes, yes, the officers are supposed to be that way, but a good Top Kick can overcome slovenly officers. The success of my battery level command is testament to that. More importantly, the First Sergeant has ad hoc tools available to him that a prudent officer will avoid.

While normally a First Sergeant is selected from NCO's of requisite caliber in the same branch as the unit they allow their officers to take responsibility for, this is not always the case. This has to do with the requisite quality in a First Sergeant is the ability to capital-L Lead. The duties of the 1SG generally doesn't extend to that of leading the troops around taking bunkers, breaking track, serving the guns. His or her job is to move among the soldiers and make sure that the troops are being taken care of, the NCOs are doing their jobs, and making sure it's all done to standard.

My first unit, Headquarters and Headquarters Battery, 1st Battalion, 22nd Field Artillery Regiment, then assigned to the 1st Armored Division Artillery at Pinder Barracks, Zirndorf, Germany, is an example of a unit that did not have an MOS-related 1SG. 1SG "Z" was a dental technician. Yes. A dental tech. Yet he rode herd on that battery of 250 souls as if he were born to the trade. He did much to teach me how to interact with Sergeants and Soldiers as an officer, and mindful of being a junior officer. A direct support artillery battalion HHB is a large, lumbering monster, with many moving parts, usually not moving in synch. By design. The first 'H', the Headquarters, is just that . The Battalion Commander and his staff, including the battalion Command Sergeant Major, the senior NCO in the battalion. Lots of egos to deal with there. All of 'em prissy and prickly. They are the reason the battery exists. Yet, because this is a DS unit, it also contains the FS Element, which has all the Forward Observers in it, who scatter to the winds to their supported armor and infantry battalions and companies when those units are out training or deployed. The 1SG has to manage all of that in consonance with his commander, and 1SG 'Z' did it well.

I hid the best part of this below the fold, in the Flash Traffic/Extended Entry.

Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... »

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 06, 2006 | Observations on things Military | This is no Sh*t!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Over...

Ever since there have been civilizations, there have been military organizations, and there have been military leaders who have been given affectionate nicknames by their men.

Howlin’ Mad Smith.

31-Knot Burke.

Bomber Harris.

And in this time-honored tradition, I, too, have recently been screwed over had a nicknamed bestowed upon me.

Sugar Buttons.

Oh, I’ve had nicks before, but of all the asinine, kick-in-the-nuts, teeth-grinding endearing cutsie-poo bullshit pet names I’ve had stuck up my been tagged with, I must confess that the latest friggin’ sophomoric effort one has frosted my balls touched me the most, since it was given to me by a pack of back-stabbing weaselettes the Denizennes.

Now, about this Sugar Buttons thang. It’s a type of candy that was popular in the 50s and is currently undergoing a resurgence in that popularity--Retro is still alive and well. Although the manufacturer calls ‘em Candy Buttons and they’re known by that moniker world-wide, except, evidently, in São Paulo, Brazil and Cincinnati, Ohio, out of deference to the Denizenne who tagged me, I’ll keep it Sugar Buttons.

They’re the subject of fond memory...

Candy Buttons memories... Candy buttons on the paper card were always a treat for those of us who liked to play "hospital." If I somehow got some of them, I would round up a couple other children - someone always had one of those little plastic "doctor's bags" that contained a play stethoscope, a headband with a funny mirror, and a pretend syringe. We'd stuff the candy buttons in the bag, and the doctor would make rounds.

Heh. Playing “Doctor” without Candy Buttons/Sugar Buttons on hand? Unthinkable...

Rock hard, sweet and they come in three different flavors.

So, I guess I really *am* Sugar Buttons…

Sooooo, now it’s time to name the unit. Something catchy and alliterative, like Merrill’s Marauders, or Kane’s Killers...

...or the Sugar Buttons Brigade.

Presenting the Second Squad of the First Platoon, Delta Company, Third Battalion.

The rest of the Brigade is bivouaced in the Jungle Room--I’ve got a busy training schedule lined up.

Squad--‘Ha-Tennnn-SHUN! Hot Tub Drill---Move out!

Sugar Buttons, eh?

Bite me! Later, y'awl.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by CW4BillT on Jan 06, 2006 | Historical Stuff
» NIF links with: Bigger-Better-Faster-More

January 5, 2006

Random Historical Observation.

This (or something like it), is what most people think of when they conjure up a mental image of the German Army in WWII.

This is generally more accurate.

That is all.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 05, 2006 | Historical Stuff

January 4, 2006

There Are Rules...

Although this place may appear to be an anarchist's toolshed at times, it's actually a fairly structured environment. As with pretty much anything involving human beings, there are rules--some written, some unwritten, but rules nonetheless.

The trick lies in discovering the unwritten rules without inadvertently running afoul of them. So, continuing with the Castle's series of Public Service Educational Events, I've decided to level the playing field for one particular sport in which all the rules have been unwritten--until now.

The Rules for Indoor Golf.

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

Continued in Flash Traffic. Hey, there are rules, ya know...?

Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... »

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by CW4BillT on Jan 04, 2006 | I think it's funny!

Snerk!

First - Cosmo needs to get well soon. Those who know, know.

We've gone from this - Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirrel 'Bots... to this:

Get Well Soon, Cosmo!


Second - the Real Reason for the deer population explosion. I blame SchumerBradyStein.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 04, 2006 | I think it's funny!

January 3, 2006

Clueless in Eden

It seems appropriate, in light of the recent flurry of feminine snarkiness comments some of the Denizennes have made, to dedicate this cautionary tale to AFSis, Kat-missouri, FbL and Bostonmaggie...

And God created Man, and He called the Man *Adam*...

And God said unto Adam, "Adam, I have a task for thee."

And Adam replied, "Sure thing. What do You want me to do?"

And God said, "Goeth thou down into that valley..."

And Adam said, "What's a valley?"

And God explained it to him...

Then God said, "...then crosseth thee the river..."

And Adam said, "What's a river?"

And God explained it to him...

Then God said, "...then goeth thou over to the hill..."

And Adam said, "What's a hill?"

And God explained it to him...

Then God said, "...and on the other side of the hill wilt thou find a cave."

And Adam said, "What's a cave?"

And God explained it to him...

Then God said, "In the cave, thou wilt find a Woman."

And Adam said, "What's a Woman?"

And God explained it to him...

Then God said, "I want thee to reproduce."

And Adam said, "How do I do that?"

And God said (under his breath), "Aw, geez..."

And God explained it to him...

And Adam betook himself down into the valley, across the river, over the hill, into the cave and found the Woman.

And in about five minutes, he was back.

Then God, his patience wearing thin, sighed mightily and said, "*NOW* what?!?"

And Adam said, "What's a headache?"

--H/t to V29

UPDATE: This just in from a feminist sympathizer. In order to view it, you must either be of legal age and have a sense of humor unimpaired by any preconceived notions that the female of the species is genetically disposed toward nurturing or you can just click on Flash traffic.
Some assembly required, batteries not included.

Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... »

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by CW4BillT on Jan 03, 2006 | I think it's funny!

Ahhhhh....

A photo to warm the cockles of a Redleg heart...

May 31, 2005  Soldiers from the 82nd Airborne Division fire a gun salute during “All-American Week” at Fort Bragg, N.C. by Tech Sgt Cherie A. Thurlby. This photo appeared on www.army.mil.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 03, 2006 | Artillery | Something for the Soul

Starving Chaplains.

Stop The ACLU covers the Chaplain on a hunger strike over not being able to "preach without diluting God to a one-size-fits all deity."

When this story first broke, I made my opinion on this known - if he's leading services, he can preach as he wishes - if he's officiating at an official, mandatory event - I have no objection to "diluting God to a one-size-fits all deity." The chaplain may feel they being oppressed with that restriction, but I disagree. It's part and parcel of being a military chaplain. I've known Catholic chaplains who can run through the jewish death prayer (I can't remember what it's called) as easily as they can the Last Rites. A military chaplain has to understand and acknowledge that his ministry includes people from outside his faith tradition - and if he or she can't deal with that, then a military chaplaincy is perhaps not their calling.

However - it's one thing to tell a chaplain to be generic at a official event (a mandatory function) and quite another to tell him to be generic when holding services, and that appears to be the case here.

Klingenschmitt, an Episcopal priest, says he challenged the policy at the time, saying that Title X of the U.S. Code allows him to pray “according to the manners and form” of his own church. “And that’s been the law since 1860,” he said.

The chaplain says he believes the 1998 Navy policy illegally overrides U.S. Code.

“They called me an immature chaplain because I claimed the right to pray in Jesus’ name,” Klingenschmitt added.

The “immature” label followed Klingenschmitt to his first chaplain post on a Navy ship. Two years later, his commanding officer, Capt. James M. Carr, wrote to the Navy board, saying Klingenschmitt emphasized his own “faith system” when praying and preaching.

The chaplain says the same officer punished him in July 2004 for a sermon he preached at an optional chapel service.

“In the sermon, I said, ‘Jesus is the way to heaven,’” Klingenschmitt noted. He says he was told the next day: “You can’t say that if unbelievers are in the audience because you’re offending people, and that’s not Navy pluralism.”

In March, Klingenschmitt says, Carr asked the Navy board “to end my career. So I filed a complaint.”

Said Klingenschmitt: “It went into the hands of a Navy judge. My career was on the line. They were going to end it after 14 years – out on the street with no retirement.”

Just before his fast began, Klingenschmitt says, “The Navy stripped me of my uniform for all public appearances” that might include praying in Jesus’ name.

The Chaplain feels he should be able to do as he wishes in services, and that doesn't appear to be the case. An unbeliever, attending services? And the Chaplain is to be sensitive to that? So, if a worshiper of Set were attend a Christian service, the Chaplain should perhaps excise God as well? To what purpose and end? On the surface of it, this doesn't seem to make any sense, now that the story is more fully developed.

Anyone have the official Navy position on all this?

Update! Ah, my trolling worked! CDR Salamander to the rescue!

Sapper Sergeant has his own view up, and several links we're missing (and you can go read what he has to say if you'd like to see the links, that seems only fair).

Lastly, speaking of mistreating Chaplains and subsequently regretting it...


Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 03, 2006 | Observations on things Military
» CDR Salamander links with: Navy Chaplain's hunger strike

January 2, 2006

Media@War

In response to this article by an active duty Marine in the Washington Post:

The Truth On the Ground

By Ben Connable

Wednesday, December 14, 2005; Page A29

When I told people that I was getting ready to head back to Iraq for my third tour, the usual response was a frown, a somber head shake and even the occasional "I'm sorry." When I told them that I was glad to be going back, the response was awkward disbelief, a fake smile and a change of subject. The common wisdom seems to be that Iraq is an unwinnable war and a quagmire and that the only thing left to decide is how quickly we withdraw. Depending on which poll you believe, about 60 percent of Americans think it's time to pull out of Iraq.

How is it, then, that 64 percent of U.S. military officers think we will succeed if we are allowed to continue our work? Why is there such a dramatic divergence between American public opinion and the upbeat assessment of the men and women doing the fighting?

The whole thing can (and should) be read here.

And this article by the UCLA Professor who found that there *is* bias in the news (and how many jaws dropped to find Fox News listed as being a little lefty?):

Media Bias Is Real, Finds UCLA Political Scientist

Date: December 14, 2005
Contact: [see original article]

While the editorial page of The Wall Street Journal is conservative, the newspaper's news pages are liberal, even more liberal than The New York Times. The Drudge Report may have a right-wing reputation, but it leans left. Coverage by public television and radio is conservative compared to the rest of the mainstream media. Meanwhile, almost all major media outlets tilt to the left.

You can (and should) read the rest of that here.

Comes this bit of analysis from an intel listserv I belong to:

Great article! The principal problem that we face however is that one of our two major parties is now heavily invested in our defeat, and if possible, humiliation; and this investment in defeat and humiliation extends to our news media, 80% of which is composed of self-identified members of that party (as opposed to 2% that self-identify with the other party)*. This investment did not occur by chance; it was inevitable and predictable (and was, in fact, predicted by me in writing, within a week of the terrorist attacks of September 2001).

The principal dynamics driving this investment are of a two-fold nature. First, the party desiring and actively promoting national defeat and humiliation does so because when the US engages in war overseas, any war overseas, that party is at an inherent disadvantage politically. In order for it to be competitive at the national level, the country must be at peace (at least we must not be actively engaged in war with other countries; although they may be engaged in war against us). This is because since the 1930’s, this party has closely identified itself with domestic political causes, especially positioning itself as the champion of the self-perceived domestic disenfranchised and aggrieved (such as media personalities, academicians, civil servants (including public school teachers), union leaders, etc.). Additionally, since the 1960’s, this party has distanced itself from defense and intelligence matters, going so far as to position itself, by the mid-1970’s, as the enemy of our own defense and intelligence communities. Because of this, in times of war (notably the Cold War), national attention and concern is necessarily drawn to this party’s demonstrable weakness; only in times of peace does public attention tend to focus on domestic issues where this party is competitive. If peace overseas can be complemented by discord at home, that gives them more ready-made constituencies, and that much more opportunity to exploit politically. This party therefore thrives on domestic turbulence; but requires isolation from problems overseas. If such isolationism can be reinforced by the memory of perceived or actual military catastrophe (such as followed our surrender of Indo-China to Communism in the 1970’s), so much the better.

The second reason why this party needs our national defeat and humiliation is that the war that has been thrust upon us is correctly perceived as a creature of the other party (the one now in power). The reason that this perception is accurate is because only the other party would (or did) engage in a war for our national interests. Even though this war has been raging since the early 1990’s (some say the late 1970’s), only the other party recognized its existence and react accordingly. The party that needs our defeat and humiliation invariably fears our own power more than that of any enemy; and because of this, can be counted-upon to respond to any provocation with nothing stronger than symbolic gestures of disapproval, such as the dimming of the national Christmas Tree lights (although they are capable of fearlessly bombing targets at random, provided that the targets offer no provocation and have nothing to do with our national interests). Because this war is identified with the other party, its loss and our humiliation would necessarily also be identified with the other party. In this way, sabotaging the war can contribute to the other party being discredited, thereby enhancing the status and influence of the party desiring our national defeat and humiliation.

National interest and the lives and well being of those who would be influenced by such a debacle mean nothing to this party (witness their response to the millions murdered and tens of millions enslaved in Indo-China in the 1970’s). They are only concerned about their partisan political advantage; and they have every reason to believe that our defeat would garner for them such an advantage. Prior to 1972, the ideas embodied in the phrases “Politics stops at the water’s edge” and “Loyal Opposition” restrained such partisanship directed in pursuit of national and international tragedy; but that time has passed, I fear forever. I remain ...

Most Respectfully Yours,

Richard Maltz

* These figures are approximate, and vary over time; but they vary remarkably little. Similar numbers are reported in a large number of surveys of media political identification over the past forty or so years, most notably those conducted by the team of Lichter, Rothman, and Lichter.

I bloviate further in the Flash Traffic/Extended Entry.

Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... »

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 02, 2006 | Global War on Terror (GWOT)
» Welcome to Jermany links with: Bias or Not? Diagnosing the Real Media Problem

January 1, 2006

The State of the Castle...

So, wondering what you're part of, if you consider yourself a regular visitor or Denizen of Argghhh?

Here's some data -

In 2004, this map shows the nations paying Tribute in the form of Visits to the Castle:

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Oops. North Korea shouldn't be colored in there...

In 2005, our reach had conquered Asia (still less those NKs, dang-it!), and we snuck into Cuba, too. We gained more than we lost in Africa. But we *still* don't own the world...

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Those maps can be made by visiting here. Well, that and some Photoshop action.

While we didn't make our goals this month of being at least 4th in the Weblog Awards (we're doing even worse in the Milbloggies) we did have the best month ever at Castle Argghhh!, thanks mainly to those rain-coated figures in the shadows googling last year's New Years Post. That worked so well, I gave them reason next year to google *this* year's post... But it's important to note that actual visitor (vice voyeur) traffic has shown a steady positive trend - even as links have been declining. Since we quit being all political and ranty, the linkage has dropped, but visits have increased... what's that say about bloggers? The other goal for the month was to break 1 million uniques served... but we'll do that in possibly less than two weeks. We've been over a million absolute visits (not counting bots, etc) for months. In 2004 we had 327,204 unique visits, 650,699 visits overall, not counting the 'bots, etc. In 2005 we had 687,785 uniques, with 1,573,585 visits overall. Most businesses would be satisfied with growth like that. I am, certainly!


We doubled our traffic over the year - actually 2.1 times the traffic of last year. If we can sustain that kinda growth (I'm not sure I want to, nor do I think we will) I may have to take up the blog-ad invitations I have to start paying the freight around here.

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All in all the news is pretty good 'round here, for the Castle as a concept, if not for several of the Denizens who suffered losses this year, whether family, friends, or property. And a job or two, as well. And that counts only those among the readership we know of. At the same time, there has been a lot of fun, and for that, we thank all of you! We've managed to keep this place pretty much Moonbat Free, and our Contrarians are interested in discussion and argument, not spittle-flecked tirades. Which we return in kind.

Our Top 10 Referrers this year are:

National Review's The Corner - Blogfather Jonah and K-Lo!
Hugh Hewitt
Les Jones
Blackfive
Mudville Gazette
Instapundit
Castle Adjutant Barb!
LT. Smash
Michelle Malkin
Kim du Toit


Woo-woo! A *Denizenne* made the Top 10!

Interestingly, aside from the home page, the Gun Rights Archive was the second most popular entry point over the year.

The single most popular post? This one.

But I'd like to take the time to thank you all for coming by - with a *Special Thanks* to those who comment, and share stuff for content. It makes this more fun *and* easier, to do, and keep doing.


Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by John on Jan 01, 2006 | Shameless Self-Promotion

Happy New Year!

In keeping with the Castle's policy of posting periodic Public Service Announcements, this will be the first (or the last, depending on how many rocks get thrown my way) in a series of

New Year's Resolutions for Those of You Too Hung Over to Think.

1. For the Kittens: "I resolve to...

a. Stop horking hairballs into the 'ritamatic's intake manifold;

b. Cease leaving comatose partners lying around the Jungle Room where they could become a tripping hazard; and

c. Refrain from using the trebuchet as a scratching post."

2. For the Aviating Denizens: "I resolve to...

a. Shower between taking a fuel sample and showing up at a Comment Party;

b. Insure no Ladies are within range when simulating the *pthbtbtbtbtbtbt* sound of a reciprocating engine at full throttle; and

c. Refrain from using members of the Interior Guard as demonstrators when describing the procedures for shooting a partial-panel ILS."

Succeeding posts will cover such topics as "Fishing hairballs from the 'ritamatic," "Probing for tripping hazards in a lightless room" and "Why aviation fuels are not considered a suitable substitute for after-shave lotion."

This has been a Public Serv

[*thwack!*] Ow!

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that 2b could impact 1b under certain circumstances and 1b would then be dependent on just *who* recovered first. Additional topics for future Public Service posts will include "Do's and don't's: Proper use of night viewing devices in the Jungle Room" and "Plastic tarps: they're not just for painting anymore."

*ducking incoming gravel truck*

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! »

by CW4BillT on Jan 01, 2006 | I think it's funny!