tag:www.thedonovan.com,2008://1/tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035- 2008-08-03T17:14:44Z Comments for A note from the Exterior Guard. We're the Military and Airpower Guys of Jonah Goldberg of National Review Online + a stray we found wandering around looking lost. All original material JHD, BHD, JR, WT, and KA 2003-2007 Movable Type 4.12 tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035 2005-12-27T21:03:30Z 2006-11-11T16:53:21Z A note from the Exterior Guard. Who were a tad grumpy they stayed here while we went to visit the Center of the Familial Universe. Top 10 [Heh, they can't count) Exterior Guard "pet" peeves about the Armorer. 1. Blaming your farts on us . . not funny . . . not funny at all! ! ! 2. Yelling at us for barking. Do we yell at YOU for TALKING? We're FRIGGIN' DOGS, YOU IDIOT! It's what you hired us for (and about that pay thing...) 3. Taking us for a walk, then not letting us check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?... The Armorer http://www.thedonovan.com Hosting provided by FotoTime

Who were a tad grumpy they stayed here while we went to visit the Center of the Familial Universe.

Top 10 [Heh, they can't count) Exterior Guard "pet" peeves about the Armorer.

1. Blaming your farts on us . . not funny . . . not funny at all! ! !

2. Yelling at us for barking. Do we yell at YOU for TALKING? We're FRIGGIN' DOGS, YOU IDIOT! It's what you hired us for (and about that pay thing...)

3. Taking us for a walk, then not letting us check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on our noses . . stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. That's why we chew your stuff up when you're not home. Well, that and see the "pay thing" above.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain. Butthead.

7. Taking us to the vet for "the big snip," then acting surprised when we freak out every time we go back! Dogs don't get painkillers! Okay, okay, thetre *is* hat tasty chondroitin thingy, but you get the point...)

8. Getting upset when we sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but we haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ? ? ? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when we lick ourselves. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

11. Lay off on some of these things; we both know who's boss here (you don't see *us* picking up your poop do you ? ? ? ) Oh, speaking of poop - get rid of those automatic cat-litter boxes... those crunchy tootsie-rolls are a perk (see that "pay thing," above)!

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Heh. You can see how hard the job is...

H/t, Jim C.

Update: Don't you *dare* remove those automatic toilets, or we'll blarg on your pillows! They're kewl! Signed, The Interior Guard.
]]> tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37060 Comment from cw4(ret)billt on 2005-12-28 cw4(ret)billt *What* multi-post? *saunters off whistling off-key* 2005-12-28T19:38:59Z 2005-12-28T19:38:59Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37059 Comment from Casey Tompkins on 2005-12-28 Casey Tompkins http://www.thegantry.net/blog Well. That explains it. And here I thought John was keeping a pet pig... 2005-12-28T19:37:52Z 2005-12-28T19:37:52Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37058 Comment from KCSteve on 2005-12-28 KCSteve Sorry for the multi-post - proxy server decided to act up. Hopefully John can delete these extras. 2005-12-28T19:32:06Z 2005-12-28T19:32:06Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37055 Comment from KCSteve on 2005-12-28 KCSteve It's the forced perspective. We look and see Houdini and without any reference class him as "Doberman". Dobermans are of a known size. Which makes Whiskey an 'unknown' of enormous estimated size. When you know Houdini is about cat-sized then Whiskey snaps back to normal. 2005-12-28T19:24:37Z 2005-12-28T19:24:37Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37031 Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2005-12-28 John of Argghhh! http://www.thedonovan.com Doberman"... And while Whiskey *is* a porker, he's not *that* big... ]]> 2005-12-28T13:23:46Z 2005-12-28T13:23:46Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37029 Comment from MCart on 2005-12-28 MCart I'm with Ry on this one.. The 'black and brown thing' looks like a Doberman in that photo, which puts the 'black and white thing' on the left into the 300-600lb sow range.. Odd forced perspective or something going on in that photo.. Fella on the left looks like he has a bigger neck than my buddy's 110lb Malamute, Maddox. 2005-12-28T08:31:36Z 2005-12-28T08:31:36Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37024 Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2005-12-27 John of Argghhh! http://www.thedonovan.com There's three all told, Ry - Shadow, Whiskey, and Houdini, in descending age *and* size. 2005-12-28T03:06:49Z 2005-12-28T03:06:49Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37022 Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2005-12-27 John of Argghhh! http://www.thedonovan.com The "black and white thing" is a medium-sized mutt. The little black and brown thing is a Rat Terrier named Houdini. He's a small 'un. The tubby fella is a Jack Daniels terrier named Whiskey. Cuz' he's a licker. 2005-12-28T02:57:25Z 2005-12-28T02:57:25Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37020 Comment from ry on 2005-12-27 ry No, not the black and brown thing laying down, but the big black and white thing to the *left* of the rather avg. looking lab. I can't tell if that's garbage or a really freakin' huge dog)top left corner of the second picture). 2005-12-28T02:49:56Z 2005-12-28T02:49:56Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37018 Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2005-12-27 John of Argghhh! http://www.thedonovan.com Heh. Tell that to the people who've been flooded by Stranger Creek (no, we *don't* live nearby) or Three Mile Creek (so called because it's measured from the flagpole of the oldest Fort west of the Mississippi... 2005-12-28T01:11:12Z 2005-12-28T01:11:12Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37017 Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2005-12-27 John of Argghhh! http://www.thedonovan.com Shadow is a Black Lab, you pansy. And that's what a mulching mower is for. It's all fertilizer! 2005-12-28T01:09:44Z 2005-12-28T01:09:44Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37014 Comment from cw4(ret)billt on 2005-12-27 cw4(ret)billt That's why waders are so popular in Kansas, even though there aren't a whole lot of streams (other than the Missouri Rivulet)... 2005-12-28T00:32:04Z 2005-12-28T00:32:04Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37011 Comment from ry on 2005-12-27 ry OMG, is that black and white thing a dog or a small cow? I didn't think even St. Bernards got that big. Forget asking me to mow the lawn. It'd take half the day to make it safe, unless you wanted to make Chariot of Argghhh! into the Feces Flinger 9000. 2005-12-28T00:22:56Z 2005-12-28T00:22:56Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37006 Comment from cw4(ret)billt on 2005-12-27 cw4(ret)billt pile of gack. But no loss--moles make lousy drummers... ]]> 2005-12-27T22:37:01Z 2005-12-27T22:37:01Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37005 Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2005-12-27 John of Argghhh! http://www.thedonovan.com That's not a rabbit, it's a viciously gnawed on rope chew toy. The mole population did decline over the summer, however. As we discovered when I noted little feet in a pile of gack... 2005-12-27T22:32:11Z 2005-12-27T22:32:11Z tag:www.thedonovan.com,2005://1.5035-comment:37003 Comment from cw4(ret)billt on 2005-12-27 cw4(ret)billt Heh. From the looks of things, *somebody's* discovered that rabbits zigzag in a predictable pattern. Are their tularemia shots up to date? 2005-12-27T22:08:11Z 2005-12-27T22:08:11Z