We're the Military and Airpower Guys of Jonah Goldberg of National Review Online + a stray we found wandering around looking lost. All original material JHD, BHD, JR, WT, and KA 2003-2010 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html Sat, 24 Mar 2012 15:59:27 Z Movable Type 4.12 en Copyright 2012 http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification Another bit from Blake, wherein he keeps a promise and answers his teaser. My part of this mission is winding down. Most of our stuff has shipped, and we're cleaning up bits and pieces here and there. It's getting easier to find time to do things like write, hence the following. True Tales of Horror from the Unit Movements Bidness, Part 2. Okay, so in the last installment of this collection, I mentioned having once helped airmail a water buffalo to Afghanistan. I’ll own up. I did it. Or at least, I helped… No, not a live carabao. Not even... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:18:19 -0600 "All of this going to prove Sanger's Thesis." Which of my many half-cocked ideas is that ? :-) But I did laugh out loud at Blakes rules. So, so true. When I was at Ft. Hood the first time, our armor unit (7th Cav) shared a motorpool with the signal bn. The Signal guys had jeeps out the yingyang, and they NEVEr locked their spare tires. Ever! Now for those of you who remember it took a mattock, a 10 lb sledge hammer, two big guys, and a foot on the mattock to remove a flat jeep tire from it's rim, you will agree that the unsecured spare tires were far too tempting to resist. We never did. As for us? We always put all our extras including radios, tires, etc; in the conex. Screw those thieving SOBs. What made it worse is that the signal guys had conexs, they just never used them. They also left all their axes and shovels mounted all the time too. Suffice to say though, after we got our replacements and stash-spares from them, we stopped taking those, so they were able to hold onto most of that stuff. Man, do I sound depraved or what? But it was such good, clean fun. And it saved our feet too. Ha. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32991 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32991 Fri, 14 Oct 2005 12:12:00 -0600 Rocket boxes make the best flooring for GP Medium homes. Not that I ever flew off with 150 rocket boxes hastily tossed into a cargo net, y'unnerstand, merely passing along some institutional knowledge to the younger folks. Besides, they wuz just gonna make stereo shelves out of 'em, anyway... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32970 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32970 Fri, 14 Oct 2005 08:56:30 -0600 All of this going to prove Sanger's Thesis. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32961 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32961 Fri, 14 Oct 2005 06:29:24 -0600 John commented: "Heh. Yeah, some *other* battalion's residue stacks..." But of course. You don't ever swipe stuff from your own people... Besides, if they don't want stuff taken, they should do a better job of securing it. I mean, if you leave stuff lying out where someone could just walk off with it, and someone DOES walk off with it, whose fault is it? Scrounger's 1st Law: If it isn't nailed down, it's mine. Scrounger's 2nd Law: If I can pry it up without attracting too much attention, it wasn't nailed down properly to begin with. Scrounger's 3rd Law: Stuff with no serial number and no lot number has no provenance. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32960 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32960 Fri, 14 Oct 2005 06:21:53 -0600 Yeah, but you gotta admire their ingenuity... The best we ever did with ammo crates was make double-high OVM+ storage boxes for carrying stuff down to the strac room... 105mm boxes were good because they had the rope handles and decent hinges. :-) I also once 'owned' an Army pick-up truck that wasn't on anyone's handreceipt, and I truly don't know where it came from. It was there when I took over. We ended up putting a civilian camper top on it (red dingle-balls, curtains, and all in the side windows), and we camo-painted it. Once I also managed to get hold of quite a few 4x8 sheets of 1/2 inch plywood, and that made me a god for a while (till it ran out). In fact, almost my entire platoon field set-up was the result of 'informally reallocating an existing set of resources.' I had a shelter on one truck we huckstered out of another company and made into a maintenance set-up; I had a plywood hooch on another truck, and the camper on the third. We had gone to seckenheim PDO yard and had a FIELD day, needed a deuce.5 truck to get all the stuff back. Was great. And being a TOE division-level platoon assigned to a corps-level TDA company that was supported/quasi-owned by a divison-level aviation BN was even better because we just didn't register on the property book radar anywhere. Made it hard to get stuff, but what we could get, we got to keep. :-P http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32959 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32959 Fri, 14 Oct 2005 05:44:58 -0600 Heh. Yeah, some *other* battalion's residue stacks... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32958 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32958 Fri, 14 Oct 2005 05:36:09 -0600 One of the other functions of NCO's, (in the Army, anyway,) is to help train junior officers in the way things work outside the schoolhouse walls, which is seldom exactly the way things are described in the textbooks. And one of the important lessons good officers learn is that there are times when it is best to not ask too many questions. I recall a situation when I was working at a battalion S-4, and we had come up short about 30 wooden crates for 81mm mortar ammo, which had to be turned back in to the ammo dump in order to clear our issue document. We came to work one Monday morning and there were thirty ammo crates sitting in the locked storage bay behind the S-4 offices. It didn't take our Assistant S-4/ammo officer long to figure out that there were only six people with keys to that part of the building. So he comes to me and asks me: "Sergeant Kirk, do you know anything about the ammo crates that are out in the bay this morning?" "Sir," I reply, "I heard we had a visit from the Ammo Crate Fairy over the weekend, but that's about it." "Sergeant Kirk! You stole those ammo crates, didn't you?" "Sir, I did not." "How do you figure that, sergenat?" "Sir, are those crates government property?" "Yes..." "Have they left the government reservation?" "No..." "Are they in the hands of anyone other than government employees?" "No..." "Are they being used for some inappropriate or non-government use?" "No..." "So you see, Ell-Tee, the crates weren't stolen; the worst that can be said is that someone informally re-allocated an existing set of resources. Besides, if those bozos down at 3rd Brigade were concerned that some of their ammo crates might go walkies, they ought to have done a better job of securing them..." At which point the LT observes that I'm starting to make his head hurt, and goes back to his own desk. We cleared the ammo document that afternoon, and the following evening the Ammo NCO and I (we were roomies,) tracked down the Specialist Four and Private First Class who had been responsible for the shortage. They had started a sort of cottage/barracks industry building stereo shelves out of ammo crates, and we found it necessary to counsel them about choosing a source for their raw materials other than their own battalion's residue stacks... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32954 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32954 Fri, 14 Oct 2005 00:40:36 -0600 After a few years with the AF, I have come to the following conclusion about the difference between it and the Army. It's a gross generalization, but it does work, even for AF NCOs (AF officers don't care for it too much, though some admit I might have somethin' here): In the Army, the Officers are the vision and rules guys: Do this, don't hurt people, don't get caught breakin laws, etc. They wind up the NCOs, and then they just sort of keep an eye out to steer us clear of the furniture and walls. The NCOs are the 'hop-to' folks, who figure out how to make things happen, then worry about how to explain it should the need arise (after all, results matter more than method, eh?). In the AF, the roles are somewhat reversed. The NCOs are the rules guys (to the anal-end, in fact; they are WAY more stuck on details and rules than anyone in the army except for finance folks), and the officers are the ones who 'just do it,' regardless of the appropriateness of things. Again, this is gross generalization, but I cannot remember the number of times, I've heard some AF E6, E7, or E8 telling some Capt or Maj he or she couldn't do somethin' that shouldn't-a been doin. The Officers are the ones who say "we'll worry about the rules later," or "we'll ask forgiveness later," etc. and the NCOs are the straight-arrow, know the rules guys. This is not a bad thing, but it does take getting used. Just like it takes getting used to every AF officer introducing him or herself as Bob, or Jill, or Leo, even to lower ranking officers or enlisted folks. And it is the Officers who have the beer and wine coolers in the fridge in the lounge (which flat freaked me out the first time I saw folks break out real alcohol in the building during the monthly glad-hand session). I had a deal with my one-only-ever 1LT once. I promised I'd not do anything he'd get chewed on without warning him first--so he could prepare his plausible deniability face--if he would run flack for me if he could. Worked like a charm. I am sure one of our company leaders thought my LT had his hands full with me, and rated him better for having me as the PSG, while I had a fair amount of autonomy to get done what needed doin'. that was the best! Oh well, old memories in old heads.... That's me. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32952 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32952 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 22:38:23 -0600 Soitenly! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32951 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32951 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 21:53:54 -0600 It has been spoken, that every story about Viet Nam either begins or ends with a helicopter...... But I garyawandamnteeya....there's a water buffalo one in the middle somewhere. This is one of the best, a classic. Hat tip to the Boss for posting, and hat tip to Blake for giving me another place to follow those that took my place. Permission to copy and paste?......with credits, of course. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32950 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32950 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 21:43:19 -0600 I am the UMO for my company. Now, I know what to do if I need to get something somewhere... call DHL. Thanks for the tip. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32949 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32949 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 21:37:54 -0600 I airmailed a snowball to Texas, in the summer. It arrived intact, even. But that's the extent of my mail-fu ;-) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32943 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32943 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 18:49:00 -0600 I loved it!!! Thanks for sharing this "all too true" story. Gotta go now...gotta buy more DHL stock! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32935 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32935 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 17:55:35 -0600 That's one hell of a story! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32922 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32922 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 15:04:44 -0600 That's one hell of a story! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32921 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32921 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 15:04:15 -0600 John, on your NCO comment: A long time ago, a VERY long time ago, I was a young E-5 buck sergeant, I was plotting targets for a FA target list for the TOC. I had been an E-5 for about two years. Two OCS cadets were trying to convince some specialist that he should sign up for OCS and become an officer. I was interjecting comments as the converstaion progressed. One of the cadets asked me if I considered going to OCS and becoming an officer. I thought for a moment, then responded, "No. Because, a good NCO can get by without a good officer, but a good officer can't get by without a good NCO. And I'm a good NCO." The cadet didn't say anything else. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32920 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32920 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 14:59:47 -0600 That's one great TINS you've got there Mr. Blake. A wee bit reminiscent of an Evergreen flight that I thumbed out on my way back to civilization one day. But that's another yarn. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32910 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32910 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 12:47:41 -0600 Heh - reminds me of the DHL delivery boat I saw while we were in Venice. No - there wasn't a water buffalo (either mechanized or organic) on it - it was just funny to see it going along the Grand Canal and thence into the smaller canals on its merry rounds. Good story, Blake! Getting it done sometimes takes some real creativity :-) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32907 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32907 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 12:14:01 -0600 *sniff* I love a happy ending! More stories, plzz. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32899 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32899 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 10:47:28 -0600 It's also a textboook example of *why* the NCO corps (Blake is a retired NCO) exists. The smart officer, when confronted with a problem of this sensitivity is usually best served by saying "Make this happen, don't hurt anybody, nor break too many laws while doing it." Which, come to think of it, is pretty much what happened. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32897 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32897 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 09:58:47 -0600 FOr some reason 'Git 'er done' poped into my head while reading this. Damn you Larry the Cable Guy! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32895 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/10/getting_to_the_fight_part_7.html#comment-32895 Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:56:28 -0600