We're the Military and Airpower Guys of Jonah Goldberg of National Review Online + a stray we found wandering around looking lost. All original material JHD, BHD, JR, WT, and KA 2003-2010 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html Sat, 24 Mar 2012 16:02:56 Z Movable Type 4.12 en Copyright 2012 http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification This is an oldie-but-goodie, updated, amended and modified for the non-zoomie Denizens. I thought it'd be appropriate, given John's penchant for posting pix of aircraft in various stages of distress... 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. Unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back—then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html Sat, 09 Apr 2005 09:58:19 -0600 Mythilt - I like the one about beating the air ito submission :-) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21728 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21728 Mon, 11 Apr 2005 20:08:17 -0600 Oh, and with regards to #47.....I think an SR-71 going mach-3+ will 'fly' lower than a Piper Cub. Would be easy to prove too, just look at the depth of the crater. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21683 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21683 Mon, 11 Apr 2005 09:52:39 -0600 Forgot my favorite about Helicopters; Helicopters are the brute force method of flight, they beat the air into submission. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21682 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21682 Mon, 11 Apr 2005 09:49:08 -0600 Okay, lotta dancing, some furious blushing of the leonine kind, some quasi-blatant pickup attempts and the PG-17 rating is still quivering in the corner, stuck to that patch of chocolate the scruples missed. Not bad... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21604 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21604 Sun, 10 Apr 2005 01:37:06 -0600 My writing is of a very personal nature, Neffi. If you emailed me anymore, you might be more familiar with it... ;) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21553 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21553 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:39:58 -0600 they don't write...]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21551 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21551 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:30:48 -0600 Maybe I'm losing the definition of "it" in all this euphemistic tal, but my not-the-good-kind groan was directed at Neffi's narrative, John! (But yes, as SWWBO commented in the post above, envy is definitley involved.) *jealous grin* http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21550 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21550 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:26:55 -0600 Yeah, I'm sure SWWBO does more than her share of groaning (the good kind) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21549 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21549 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:23:23 -0600 SWWBO thinks it *is*. Yer just jealous! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21547 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21547 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:20:49 -0600 *groan* (and NOT the good kind!) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21546 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21546 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:19:36 -0600 ...and Neffi is saved, as #82 smashes a hole through the stone wall from SWWBO's bood-wah, tumbling stone blocks from the corridor that had been his doom... Neffi flees into the night, shouting over his shoulder "Thanks for the pointer, John" http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21545 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21545 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:17:16 -0600 Dude! #82! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21544 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21544 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:10:53 -0600 snick on his Colt's .45 automatic, he reaches for the spare magazine... and finds only an empty pouch...]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21542 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21542 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:08:58 -0600 *buuuzzzzzz-POP!* Neffi disappears in a puff of bad-smelling, dirty smoke. Her finger lifting from the button, SWWBO says, "Bitch about the menu, eh?" http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21541 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21541 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:08:56 -0600 Run quick, Neff. I think you're a dead man! LOL! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21540 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21540 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 21:00:17 -0600 Well, she'd have to be an expert- given the lack of ingredients... hah [ducks into safe-room] http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21538 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21538 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:56:17 -0600 Why thank you, kind sir. *smiles beatifically) As far as SWWBO, I'd say it sounds like she's an expert cook! :D http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21537 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21537 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:54:00 -0600 Just that you're HOT, chick... Kinda like SWWBO - without her seasoning! (Which means experience in dealing with the oldest child in her household, me!) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21534 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21534 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:49:40 -0600 Are you comparing my face to a factory furnace?!?! You'd better watch yourself! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21532 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21532 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:48:19 -0600 Are you annoyed? Or just blushing *industriously*? Oooh. Feel the heat! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21530 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21530 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:42:46 -0600 And just to clarify... I'm standing in the corner with my FACE OUTWARD! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21529 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21529 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:40:59 -0600 *Standing in the corner and blushing furiously* http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21528 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21528 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:39:43 -0600 ...I'm pretty sure he'll get *fresh*! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21525 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21525 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:36:18 -0600 Fuzzy - if you let Neffi gather raspberries from your bush... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21523 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21523 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:34:44 -0600 cry! ]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21521 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21521 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:31:53 -0600 Don't mind John, he's in dental hell like Dusty and being a wet blanket is his way of sharing out his misery! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21520 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21520 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:28:57 -0600 FBL: Have you worked a summer job picking raspberries? I enjoy them only after processing. Now huckleberries .... Cheers JMH http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21519 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21519 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:25:53 -0600 Awwww... :) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21505 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21505 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:52:32 -0600 apologies. Never would I leave you feeling cold....]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21504 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21504 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:50:05 -0600 (Sigh) You would have so much more harmony in your life if you would simply stop spurning the loving embrace of your Mother Earth. Return to it as quickly as possible! Indeed, the same sentiments were expressed by a guardian spirit I encountered on the Astral Plane. He seemed to know you. Not only did he enthusiastically agree, he said he wished he could help you return by the most direct route possible. So benevolent a higher being! (He also said something about "kicking you from here to breakfast", which didn't sound very angelic to me. Doubtless I must travel further on my Spirit Journey and it will become clear.) Blessed Be, WiccaPundit http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21502 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21502 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:46:30 -0600 And how come everybody seems to think my mind is in the gutter. Me? Young, innocent, elegant Lioness... *sigh* http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21501 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21501 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:44:58 -0600 me cold lately. ;)]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21499 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21499 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:42:46 -0600 burning bush, if I read the leaves aright...]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21497 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21497 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:20:12 -0600 I've been ignoring him? Harrumpf! ]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21470 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21470 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:35:34 -0600 that line, Lioness hehe. Gotta go for a while [wet and messy smooch]]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21469 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21469 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:30:44 -0600 A blackberry and raspberry patch?! I may be in loooove... *drool* I can picture it now: summer, about 80 degrees, eating them warm right of the bush... *lapses into incoherence at the thought* http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21468 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21468 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:23:20 -0600 mmmm... I have a huge raspberry and blackberry patch in the yard, you could frolic there all day- the incoming storm is typical- sunny and warm and 60s today, and the metteerolog, um, metattollogy, er- weather dudes are saying 6-12 inches of snow overnight. Sigh... Springtime in the Rockies http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21467 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21467 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:19:56 -0600 A storm, huh? Sounds wonderful. Maybe we'll have to cuddle up to stay warm. And we've already got mangoes and raspberries... Raspberries must be Nectar of the Gods; I swear they make my head spin. Mmmmm.... *quickly wiping away drool before Neffi sees* http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21466 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21466 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:13:07 -0600 ps- that's not MY airplane in the link above. Dave and I were flying back from Trinidad after looking at some land he had an interest in. We shoulda fueled at Platte Valley but I called and asked his fuel state and he said he had plenty, so on we went. Heading north-west from there, I could see the ground speed diminishing on my GPS- stiff headwinds, and they got worse as we went. We actually over-flew Erie airport and I was looking at the gauge myself by then, but we were twenty miles from home, and I 'had plenty' too. We were in sight of Longmont when Dave called out his engine was coughing, and then 'Engine out...' those dreaded words ( I can feel Dusty and Chief shudder). He did a good job of putting down in that field but there was a log hidden in the tall grass and it broke his left gear... he smashed all three prop blades and bent the main spar on the left wing. I landed too but had the power to select a better area... Dave was unhurt but the final damage was to pride and wallet ($6000)... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21465 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21465 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:12:01 -0600 My thoughts eggsak, um, exak, er- what you said. We're hunkering down here for a storm, else I'd be about other binness- but lucky me... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21463 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21463 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:53:15 -0600 Purrrrr Nice to have you all to myself for a change... ;) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21460 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21460 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:47:01 -0600 Lioness... my sweet purr-baby- my pleasure! [clink-clunk phissss] The bar is open... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21459 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21459 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:44:33 -0600 wrong with them there big werds....]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21457 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21457 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:41:42 -0600 Hey, Neffi, pour me one, would you please? :) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21456 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21456 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:39:01 -0600 Hey, Neffi, pour me one, would you please? :) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21455 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21455 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:39:00 -0600 Neffi, did you break into the rita-matic already? http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21453 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21453 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:33:50 -0600 there's a hazardous occerpation um, oculati... er, ocumpation... uh, job for ya.]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21451 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21451 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:19:05 -0600 Mark Twain knew pilots before there were planes. "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are no old, bold pilots." http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21449 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21449 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 16:13:11 -0600 Heh - Neffi's really enjoying his Fototime account! BTW, Neffi - after you paste in the URL, go ahead and hit the B for Bold button, too - some laptops don't show the links very well due to my color scheme. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21408 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21408 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 12:22:41 -0600 result of experiencing axiom #36... aboult a mile from the field.]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21334 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21334 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 11:43:11 -0600 Phantom, "23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal." Hey Hey Ho Ho Gravity has got to go! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21297 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21297 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 10:15:09 -0600 Nice one Phantom....hehehe....like that. There's a lot of truth in those statements! A lot of funny, but a lot of truth backing them up. Let's all try really hard not to break the rules of this post. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21295 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21295 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 09:51:16 -0600 My prior version of #3 - It's not the fall that kills you generally, it's the sudden stop at the end. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21294 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21294 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 09:25:13 -0600 Not to mention that point 25 is a restatement of point 1. Aviation is sorta like sex: as the frame gets older, it seems more important to keep the stick up. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21290 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21290 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 08:02:48 -0600 Old groaners. This is what I get for checking in early. I knew I should stay asleep. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21287 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21287 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 06:51:13 -0600 Hey! I get enough of that "old groaner" stuff from the guys I fly with. And usually after they've missed an inside-2,500-meter-TOW shot... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21283 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21283 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 06:11:03 -0600 You left out the one about the human's job being to feed the dog, as well as the one about the one I just recounted being an old groaner. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21279 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2005/04/rules_of_the_air.html#comment-21279 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 03:55:00 -0600