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And after the MRE?

By Bill on April 12, 2005 | | Comments (37)

Did things change? What lessons did the Staff learn? Well, about a week before we were to scheduled leave (but didn't--long story), the following e-mail appeared.

For Those Who Know, you're right. 'Way, 'way late...

> -----Original Message-----
> From: BRS Eagle ISSO SUPV
> Sent: Sunday, March 24, 2002 10:32 AM
> To: DL-COMANCHE/CONNOR; DL-McGOVERN/MORGAN; DL-TUZLA
> Subject: Bunker SOP
>
>
> Attached you will find a presentation detailing bunker procedures. Please
> ensure all personnel in your organization has this information. Remember
> that you are not assigned to a bunker, in the event of an attack you go to
> the nearest bunker. There are chem lights inside the bunkers near the
> entrances, if you are the first person to arrive at the bunker, break open
> the chem lights and read the instructions in the bunker.
>


> [E-Signature Deleted by BillT]
> [Name Deleted by BillT]
> SFC, USA
> Force Protection NCO
> XXX-XXXX
> xxxxxxxxxx@email-xxxxxxx.army.mil
>
> <>

So, what did those souls curious enough to meander over to the bunkers and scope out the instructions find?

No chemlights, but the following instructions were posted:

"Ako ste upoznati ili imate bilo kakve informacije o mogucim prijetnjama SFOR osoblja ili objekata kontaktirajte SFOR predstavnika na broj 035-814-245. Predstavnik koji govori engleski jezik ce biti na raspolaganju 24 sata svaki dan. Predstavnik moze pozvati prevodioca ako je potreban, ali vi morate priloziti ime, broj telefona i vrijeme ponovnog kontakta. Hvala vam na vasoj saradnji."

English translation? Heh.

[click on Extended Entry]

"If you know or have any information about possible threats to SFOR personnel or facilities, please contact a SFOR representative at 035-814-245. An English-speaking representative can also coordinate for a translator as necessary, but you must provide a name, phone number, and time to re-contact you. Thank you for your assistance."

In other words, "In the event of an attack, kiss your butt goodbye."

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37 Comments

By Fuzzybear Lioness on April 12, 2005 9:11 PM
That's so pathetic, it's depressing.
 
By cw4billt on April 12, 2005 10:35 PM
The bunkers were old MiG shelters, with only one way in or out. Death traps. I told my folks when we first got there that if we ever took indirect fire to go to ground under our building. They were plywood, with plenty of open space to channel the blast overpressure laterally, and the floors were thick and strong enough to stop most fragments. And there were enough support pilings to make a decent fighting position. Heh. Two days later, half of Comanche was exploring underneath their buildings.
 
By SangerM on April 12, 2005 10:40 PM
That's so close to Czech, I could almost understand it... And it's a lot more fun if you get the translation wrong because it just comes out even worse... FUBAR but funny in a perverse sort of way... For example, "ako je potreban" would be literally something like "how is needed" rather than as necessary. Reminds me of a night in '84, when I was sitting in a restaurant in Munich, eating dinner, and eavesdropping on folks one table away who were speaking what sounded like Czech (but wasn't) all through dinner. When I was done, the waitress came, and I asked her how much dinner cost, but I had been thinking Czech so hard for 45 minutes that I asked in Czech, not German. Amazingly, she answered in something I understood, but wasn't Czech. Turned out she was Croatian, and so were the folks at the next table, she informed me. We had a long pleasant talk after that, in parts English, German, and Czech/Croat..... It was kind of like me listening to a Southerner speak English. I'm sure the language is the same, but the pronunciation is all kerupted and unda-eeeejekated.... ***opps, I think that might have been offensive... But not to worry- the folks I was talking about wouldn't understand it, so if you got it, you ain't that kind o' bubba... :-) And one has not lived till one has heard a true Southerner or Texan speak German or Czech with his or her native accent. Now THAT is a hoot. ~SangerM
 
By Barb on April 12, 2005 10:55 PM
Sanger - I can't even imagine how that would sound, but I imagine it is hysterical!
 
By SangerM on April 12, 2005 11:03 PM
Well it is that!
 
By cw4billt on April 12, 2005 11:06 PM
The Bosnian chicks *loved* our S'ur'n guys. Just something in the way they said, "Dobra dan, y'all"...
 
By Barb on April 12, 2005 11:21 PM
It's the y'all part - gets us every time ;-)
 
By John Anderson on April 12, 2005 11:25 PM
Uh, first one in is supposed to open the container, and THEN read the instructions? With what, since it doesn't say to set off one - and just which box to open? Hope everyone is carrying an issue flashlight - or non-issue lighter.
 
By cw4billt on April 12, 2005 11:56 PM
Lighters. A lot of the non-smokers even carried 'em.
 
By Barb on April 13, 2005 12:05 AM
Don't have to worry about the batteries going dead on a lighter.
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 8:13 AM
Yeah, Bill. It was the Y'all, as in Wie Ghets, Y'all. Or Jako se Mate, Y'all. Same stuff... :-) And as for a lighter, well it may not run dead, but I've been places firing one up was NOT a good idea... Much better to have a small penlight handy, if'n you can get one. And everyone though Catch-22 was based on fictional events... ha!
 
By Masked Menace© on April 13, 2005 8:50 AM
A true southern gentleman says ya'll (ya all) not y'all (you all). :-) It's less proper that way.
 
By Cricket on April 13, 2005 9:45 AM
When we were stationed in West Germany, we bought a Panasonic television that could recieve US, British or European statellite broadcasting. You just needed the mega expensive dish. Anyhoo, because we had rabbit ears, we got German television. I settled down to improve my German, but after watching "Gone With the Wind" in German, I don't think I ever recovered after hearing Prissy say "Ich kenne nicht eine baby gebornen, Fraulein Scarlett!" in a southern accent. I used to watch "Der Schwartzenwald Klinik", "Dallas" (in German Dallas is a scream!)"Na Sowas" and "Falcon Crest." Actually, I did recover enough to become somewhat fluent, and was on the verge of being bilingual when we left. I have forgotten so much because if you don't use it, you lose it.
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 10:35 AM
Masked Menace©: A true southern gentleman Well, that explains it... Being from Philly an' all, I'm just a damn yankee to the bone. ~Transplanted and fighting it... :-O Cricket, D'ja ever get to see John Wayne in German. The guy who did his voice most of the time was a tenor, which completely belied the frame and memory... I hated watching American TV and movies in German because the voices never matched up. I understand they are doing a better job of that now. ~SangerM
 
By Bad Cat Robot on April 13, 2005 10:53 AM
SangerM, you misspelled damnyankee. One word. (According to my Texan relatives ...)
 
By cw4billt on April 13, 2005 10:56 AM
Not to change the subject, but I've always been partial to the old Japanese monster movies: [*hero gesticulates frantically, mouth runs for eight seconds*] "No."
 
By Cricket on April 13, 2005 11:24 AM
I did. You are right, because the voices have to match the actors. You know what was also weird was walking through the local toy store and seeing a German version of Trivial Persuit's Baby Boomer edition. Uh, most Germans didn't HAVE television sets in the fifties. We went to the Kino Centre to watch that classic film "Zuruck in die Zukunft." It had been released in the states as "Back to the Future" earlier that year, and it was a RUSH to translate the dialogue and get it in the European market ASAP. The scene where he is playing "Johnny B. Goode" is totally lost. Whoever did the film's translation totally left out the reference to Chuck Barry. It went right over their heads. Skateboards in Europe are not unknown, but they aren't used because of those nasty cobblestone streets. Some of the other references to fifties icons like Daniel Boone and the confrontation with the band (when they toss him into the trunk) were completely lost as well. It is a shame, because when you know the culture or are familiar with it, you can get some of the nuances in the language. And what you are describing about the Japanese horror movies is right in line with watching the Iron Chef. I never miss an episode if I stay up late. The Chairman reminds me of a Michael Jackson wannabe.
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 11:31 AM
BillT: [*hero gesticulates frantically, mouth runs for eight seconds*] "No." My 12 yr old daughter loves those, and she loves to practice doing that herself. Pretty funny. Of course, not only did I do Saturday matinees for years when I was young, but also my father and I watched late-late night movies when I was in JRHS & HS, so I have seen just about every black and white monster movie and Charlie Chan Movie and japanese monster movie that ever existed. My end-all favorite was a movie called Atragon. Review here: www.scifilm.org/reviews/atragon.html ~SangerM
 
By cw4billt on April 13, 2005 11:39 AM
SANG-e-e-e-r-r-r-r-r! Man, I thought I was the only one who remembered Atragon! A "grade A" hoot, rivalled only by the scenes in Mothra where the little toy TELs roll along the countryside--without any little toy drivers in the cabs...
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 11:41 AM
BCR: you misspelled damnyankee Yeah, I know. All my inlaws are TEXAN, and when we moved back here, the first thing I heard from them was: "So, hows it feel to be a Texan (hahahahaha)?", or "I thought you weren't EVER coming back here!", or "Now we need to get that bumper sticker that says "Help beautify Texas, put a yankee on a bus!" and so on.... yeah, yeah. :-( ~SangerM
 
By Barb on April 13, 2005 11:52 AM
Sanger - I have a fairly complete collection of Charlie Chan movies. Several purchased - many more recorded (bless my Mom for capturing them all for me!). I love em all!
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 11:53 AM
Cricket: As you know, there is a LOT the Germans don't get about us, for a great many reasons. The interesting thing about them though, is that they THINK they do. They think they know us better then we do ourselves, they think they know how our laws work, how we eat, how we interact, and etc. and to many of them, we fit in a nice neat little box of a hundred wrong assumptions. I know that works both ways, but I think educated people here probably have a better idea bout European history and culture than they do of ours. I had many, many conversations w/ Germans about our laws (they are amazed at the 50 states, 50 sets of laws issues); how we as individuals decide regularly whether to obey a lot of laws (that this is even possible amazes them); how our country is 60 times bigger than theirs yet it is much more homogenous than theirs (they hate to even discuss this, and cannot believe that we all speak the same language-yes we have accents, but very few very different dialects); how I think Americans are more courteous than Germans (this CANNOT be possible, we are all so crude!); how we really do have a much freer country than they do, and a much more racially and culturally tolerant country than they do (they never could accept this as valid, even the folks who wouldn't let GI's and Turks into their businesses); and so on for pages.... I really like Germany and Germans, but it took me 6 years to understand that although we have common ancestors, they are NOT us, we are NOT them, and we never will be the same. As for their movies and TV, well, I tried to avoid German translations because they were so goofy, and my German girlfriend wanted to see them in English, so we went to the post theaters or to the local "art" theater in Erlangen that showed films in English! And man was I EVER glad to get back here. ~SangerM
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 12:04 PM
Barb: I LOVE Charlie Chan movies, and I have been toying with the idea of collecting them, but hadn't got started. Maybe I will now that it's fresh in my mind. BillT: And here I thought _I_ was the only one who knew about Atragon. You're the only other person in 40 years whose known what it was (and didn't laugh when I described it). It really is my favorite of all time Japanese Monster Movie, although, Godzilla vs. Mothra was a close second. I always liked Godzilla, and for some reason, Mothra was cool to me too. BTW, I HATED Ultraman and all those stupid men-in-rubber-suits monsters he fought. What an insult to japanese monsterdom... :-D ~SangerM
 
By Cricket on April 13, 2005 12:15 PM
I remember a few Japanese monster movies, but my all time favorite and I can't remember the title was about the invasion of mushroom spores and turning people into shrooms. I detest anime although my kids LOVE Yu-gi-Oh and for some reason "Totally Spies" has been a huge hit. I loved the kung fu movies of the 1970s. Absolutely a guilty pleasure. Bruce Li duking it out in the Coliseum. Sanger, I agree with you 100% about being back in the USA and about the Germans in general. The Engineer is PA Dutch and got along okay...up to a point. We lived on the economy and had a great time. I would go back to visit but I would never willingly live there again.
 
By ry on April 13, 2005 5:08 PM
Criket, don't like anime?! Dude! How can you dig moster movies at any level other than the hokiness and not like anime? It could be that you're seeing stuff that's hacked to pieces or just fluff on WB and Cartoon Network. Stuff that might change your opinion, and segregated into movies/series for adults, teens, and kiddies. Adults(movies): Samurai X: Trust and Betrayal. --The start of the Rurouni Kenshin series. Deals with suffering, loss, the morality of vengance and just war theory, love, forgiveness, and redemption. Gory though. Macross Plus-- Just fun in many points. Has some very racy parts though. Deals with rivalry and self deception. Has a rape scence hence not really for teens or kids. Ghost in the Shell-- Just phenominally drawn. You watch this and you'll call the guys who made The Matrix plagerists. Deals with existence, self determination, what is/isn't reality. Language, nudity, lots of violence. (series): Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. Well written crime stories.(violence) Teens(both series and movies): Princess Mononoke Fushugi Yugi: the Mysterious Play(good adventure yarn. Love story. Aesopena in parts about what it is to be a good friend, the value of sacrifice, honor, redemption, and friendship. It has a cross dresser, and partial nudity. Lots of pecker and fart jokes so not really for the yung 'uns). Gundam Wing: moderately intricate plot for the series. Good adventure yarn and very well drawn/animated. Gundam Seed: A reluctant hero story of the Greek myth mold. Deals with just wars and the appropriateness of violence. The trials and tribulations of the near adult(constantly thrust into situations they don't understand). Anger. Regret. Loss. The backstabbing nature of slef centered individuals. Costumes may a bit racy(miniskirts with kneehigh socks. Seemed like they were pushing for the 'Catholic School Girl' schtick, which annoyed me). Violence(blood). Cursing. Robotech(Macross)--it's a classic. Good for those who think they want to be zoomies as most of the fighting in the series isn't as big robots, but jet fights. Standard Good vs. Evil. Rouroni Kenshin(an offshoot of the Samurai X movies). 'Why one fights'. That's the underlying element of the series. In every fight Kenshin engages in his has a monologue on the just vs. unjust uses of violence. Rarely the same message twice, and not just the cheesy 'violence bad' either. Decent and accurate portrayal Ex: 'It may be true that Miss Kagumi's words about a sword are overly idealistic, and that a sword is just for killing. But I prefer them to the truth. It gives me hope." Where Kagumi holds that the sword and a swordsmans skill is there to protect not be a prop to rule with an iron fist. Neon Genesis Evangellion: Simply awesome. Tackles the confusion of struggles for identity of many teens head on. Could be a starting point for talking about serious issues like religion, self identity(especially if you've got amazons(girls)), self worth, and the unfortunate, but necessary, sacrifice of what one wants to do in favor of what one needs to do. I haven't finished this series yet. If you buy the Platinum re-releases you'll get commentary by comp lit profs on it. Excellent series. For Kiddies: Spirited Away: It's really pretty and is a story about the love a girl has for her parents. THe Cat Returns It's pretty. Good adventure yarn. Sorta Narnian, but without the religion(if you want the religion, and I did as a kid, give them the CS Lewis books or LOTR. There are no substitutes). I will admit though that anime really heavy on adolescence. But there's some really good stories out there. Better in many instances than what you'll get out of Hollywood. Rant/Lecture over. We return you to your regularly scheduled snarking(Bill-take it away).
 
By John of Argghhh! on April 13, 2005 6:45 PM
Oy. Ry just posted the comment that *might* cause my son to read this blog... oddly enough, his best friend already does! Andy however, I suspect, would read *only* that comment! 8^D He's very determined to be himself, and not me. Good on 'im.
 
By Cricket on April 13, 2005 7:53 PM
Well, for kiddie anime I confess to liking 'Hamtaro.' My sons love Gundums and Dragon Ball Z. I don't do too well with the gratuitious nudity/profanity. If it doesn't advance the plot, it doesn't 'need' to be there. However, for well written scripts and animation, Pixar is the best. That company alone might redeem Disney. I was browsing in a school supply store, looking for good books on teaching the subject of writing, and now I have a hardball for all of you: Many many years ago I was in AP English and I was taught about the bare bones of story writing with the beginning, rising action, climax, resolution and denoument. I tossed all my papers and there was no text, as the teacher was someone with an MA in Lit, but I would love to find something good that discusses those things in detail and shows how to organize a plot and sequentially tell a story. So far, I have index cards. Not efficient but better than nothing. I have only two stories that I am working on. I will never be published, but that is not why I am doing it. I am doing it because I want to finish them. Thanks for the anime enlightenment. I don't watch much television anymore but like to hear about worthwhile things, so I will keep an eye on my tv guide for upcoming films.
 
By badcatrobot on April 13, 2005 8:29 PM
Hey Cricket -- Searching my shelves, I find "How to Write Short Stories" by Sharon Sorenson. Basic fundamentals. If your local bookstore doesn't have that it will likely have one similar. The one I like for the spirit of writing is "If You Want to Write" by Brenda Ueland. For immediate gratification, I recommend http://www.sfwa.org/writing/ which has many articles for various stages of writing. Slanted towards speculative fiction, but many of the principles carry over to all areas. Hope this helps!
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 10:04 PM
Cricket: Try these (no particular order). 1) You should find TONS of advice in a couple of these, especially the first three. 2) You might find a place to sell what you write, even though you don't intend it. http://www.writersmarket.com/ http://www.worldwidefreelance.com/ http://www.zoetrope.com/ http://members.t r i p o d.com/~deepsouth/index-links.html http://www.writerswrite.com/ http://www.fhsu.edu/~jkerriga/307shortstory.html http://forum.barrowdowns.com/archive/index.php/t-11401
 
By SangerM on April 13, 2005 10:05 PM
Cricket, in the post above, the last URL is a good read about 5-part stories. Also, in the 4th, remove the spaces in the URl... The antispam software won't let that URL through, had to change it.
 
By Justthisguy on April 14, 2005 12:00 AM
I used to hang out with a guy who attended Huntsville, Alabama High school, and sat right behind either Iris or Margrit von Braun in German class. I betcha those gals could speak German with an Alabama accent, in such a way as to knock you down, gasping for breath!
 
By ry on April 14, 2005 2:24 AM
Well, I do try to be useful from time to time John. Not real good at it, but I try. If Andy's got some real favorites send 'em on along. I'm a grad student so I haven't got the time to look for real good stuff amoungst the new offerings. Cricket: What's up with lady folk always loving Hamtaro? Ack. That's so sweet it crystalizes blood. The Grife has a collection of plush hamsters and the key chain charms of her favorite ham-hams. Nothing gets me ready to drive her to work in the morning than the theme song. I'm not real big on gratuitous sex or violence either(note the knock on the "Catholic School Girl" costuming in Gundum Seed.). Remember, this stuff is Japanese. Almost everything has a symbolic significance. I didn't get it either 'til I hooked up with the Grife. Then it was like finally getting the double meanings in Shakespear. Whole new world. The stuff I've talked about is stuff you either have to rent the tape/dvd of, buy, or get Anime Network on satellite. Of the ones I mentioned only Stand Alone Complex is currently shown on Cartoon Network, but if you've got nothing to do on a late saturday nite you might try staying up for SAC and Full Metal Alchemist(this weeks episode looks to be a real head bendeer on existence). I have to disagree a little bit on Pixar. There stuff is great CGI. Great for family entertainment since the stories are multilevel--ala The Incredibles(simple stuff for kiddies, secondary messages for tweens and teens, and jokes only adults get). But if you want near lifelike drawings and complex stories you have to go for anime. American dramas don't do the character development, and Hollywood/Paris/Bollywood movies definately don't have, on avg., as much complexity or depth. No real help on the lit I'm afraid. Only a semi-literate barbarian, and I wonder why the Grife puts up with me given that flaw.
 
By Cricket on April 14, 2005 1:12 PM
Aw thanks again. I have young children, which is why I like "Hamtaro." It is sweet and innocent. But (ta dum) despite my announced liking for Harry Potter, I also LOVE the Lemony Snicket books, and right after his'n, Eoin Colfer's series about Artemis Fowl. You want some good tween literature, those two series I can highly recommend. And the Artemis Fowl series is better written, IMNSHO. I have made some notes as to the editing of the Harry Potter series and there are a couple of mistakes, and some questions I would like to ask either Ms. Rowling or her editors. I can't imagine a Brit publisher making this mistake, but from what I have seen in print, I can definately believe it came from the American side. And there are a couple of spells that have gone awry in her books too...and so, there you have it. One mystified fan.
 
By John of Argghhh! on April 14, 2005 1:25 PM
I'm of the opinion that Ms. Rowling (may all welfare moms do so well!) simply writes herself into corners, and uses the magic inaptly as a Deus Ex Machina to escape the trouble she's caused herself. Would that I could write so spectacularly poorly! 8^D
 
By SangerM on April 14, 2005 2:36 PM
In fact, I really liked the Potter Series (which we read together aloud at home) until the last book, which just d r a g g e d o n a n d o n . . . . . . I even started to write to her, but figured it wasn't worth it after hearing her on TV--too set on her notions and a little defensive too. She'd done good up to 5 but I hope the next book is a bit tighter and less outright silly AND actually closes out loose threads and doesn't make a lot of dumb excuses for things. Book 5 was just SOOOOOO disapointing. ~SangerM
 
By Cricket on April 14, 2005 2:43 PM
Hehe. I agree too. And let's face it, Hogwarts is a lot of fun. My favorite of the five has been "The Prisoner of Azkaban," because she really did a nice twist and turn with the plot and laid her red herrings with a finesse worthy of Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Christie. It has also been my favorite in the film versions, as they got rid of that pedantic Chris Columbus and got someone to have fun with it...even to including a bit of the Headless Hunt and more stage business with the portraits. I just WISH they would get Carl Reiner to direct at least one. Or Spielberg. She created a wonderful world and we have all enjoyed it.
 
By Cricket on April 14, 2005 2:47 PM
I think the character I like the most is Snape. I think she was rushed with #5 and hadn't gotten her notes together. The thestrals are ones I have issues with, as he couldn't see them after #4, but could at the beginning of #5. Her excuse was that he had to have time to absorb the impact of Cedric's death...no one ever fully absorbs that kind of impact. There are other issues as well.