We're the Military and Airpower Guys of Jonah Goldberg of National Review Online + a stray we found wandering around looking lost. All original material JHD, BHD, JR, WT, and KA 2003-2007 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html Sun, 03 Aug 2008 17:32:05 Z Movable Type 4.12 en Copyright 2008 http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification Besides, I owe ya something more than just Spirit of America stuff (thanks to those readers who have kindly donated, btw). That, and this cellulitis I'm suffering from is kinda slowing me down. So, lets go into obscure Ordnance and funny story related thereto. The United States wasn't always a military super-power. It wasn't until we found ourselves mired in the Cold War that we maintained a relatively large standing force and a robust R&D capability. Prior to that, we were like most second-tier military states, just getting by, and stretching out the service life of things like cannon as... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html Sat, 04 Dec 2004 11:36:15 -0600 Which reminds me of some thoughts I had a while back. Understand, people, that I have to live in a Southern Florida county with exactly one shootin' range and over 10 dozen pasture-pool "coarses." You all remember, I trust, the stories of Gerald Ford and Spiro Agnew beaning folks with golf balls. And then there's the current fashion of non-lethal, beanie-babey uh bean-bag projectiles for riot control and suchlike. Well, I got out my Dad's copy of the Rules of Golf and looked up the allowed velocities and masses of golf balls, and whaddaya know, the allowable kinetic energy on a golf ball figured to be about the same as that on the bullet from a .32 S&W, non special. We've all seen how golf balls fly in random directions when badly hit, due to their dimples intended to enhance the Magnus effect and mess with the boundary layer. Golf Balls would make the perfect "less than lethal" projectile! After all, silly geezers are allowed to project them in all directions here in FL, they bounce funny and can go anywhere, and they'll hit hard enough to knock you out, or hurt you, but only very rarely hard enough to kill. I think "GolfGrape" (You should trademark that, or a similar term, sir!) should be used first on golfers, of course. That way we can clear the courses for a long enough time to plant the anti-personnel mines. (Just Kiddin, OK? at this time.) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10068 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10068 Mon, 06 Dec 2004 23:29:00 -0600 John, I can report from personal experience that one does not need croquet balls to eovke havoc with the salute cannon. At Ft. Benning, we miscreants found that range balls from the golf course answered quite well. The boys in the BOQ learned first hand what "give 'em grape" means. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10050 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10050 Mon, 06 Dec 2004 11:45:15 -0600 One day at Retreat at Fort Knox, I happened to be crossing the street in front of the some of the base housing when it sounded. Being just out of Basic/OSUT, I snapped to attention in the middle of the street. (I had the light to cross.) Anyway, a SFC in a car at he light not only didn't get out but honked at me to get out of the street so he could go through when the light changed. That is when the MG of the base (who I can't rememberhis name...blast these years, but he used to carry around this enormous handcarved "swagger stick") walked over from the car on the opposite corner and proceeded to make things miserable for that sergeant. Thank God I never ran into that SFC on base, but I would have hated to be a part of his command that day. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10038 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10038 Sun, 05 Dec 2004 23:01:52 -0600 First, sympathy and concern for the infected tootsie. I hope and trust yer taking good care of it. Second, I forgot to wish you a happy St.Babs' day! Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa (chest whacks).I hope you got to shoot something, or blow something up, or at least hear something go boom. Third, the 3" Ordnance rifle is about my favorite muzzle-loading piece in the whole world! I actually drove, and walked, to the place where Bishop Polk had a round from one of those go through him. There's a monument, and a trail to it, but it's in the back yard of someone's private residence, so be nice if you go there. I believe there may still be some dispute over just who laid the piece, and who pulled the lanyard, for that shot. I think maybe it wasn't Dilger. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10013 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10013 Sat, 04 Dec 2004 23:58:17 -0600 John wrote: "People will stop their cars and get out and stand at Attention and salute as appropriate." Unless you work on an Air Force Base like the one I am on. First of all, after years and years of hearing Retreat, a BOOM, then the Call to Colors, it sounds just plain WRONG to hear Retreat followed immediately by the National Anthem, as the AF does it. Just wrong. I was on a post honor guard for a couple of months once, and my main responsibility was NCOIC of either Reveille or Retreat. It was not exciting, but it was quite pleasing to have the honor of raising and lowering the flag on an Army post, especially on an old post like Ft. Huachuca, where the main flag pole is directly in front of the Post Cdr's house, which happens to be named The Pershing House. It also makes the music stick in your head forever... Second, not only do people here not get out of their cars during retreat, but I was once told to get back in my car by an SP because "it's a hazard for people to get out of running cars." !?!?!? And finally, to make things even more depressing, many AF people don't even stop and salute if they happen to "get caught" enroute to or from their cars. I have seen a dozen people in the past couple of years just keep walking until they get inside the building or in the car (where they just sit until they see people moving again)--or they happen to notice someone is looking at them. In fact, I once saw a couple of Foreign Officers stop and stand at attention for the National Anthem while guys in flight suits kept right on walking to their car. Certainly this is not the norm, and just as surely this happens in many places, but the Army posts I've visited recently still act as you describe. My last trip to NC was quite refreshing, and frankly made me real nostalgic for Army posts again. -SangerM http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10012 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2004/12/okay_time_for_a_funny_story.html#comment-10012 Sat, 04 Dec 2004 19:23:37 -0600