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November 26, 2006

The Garden Shed of Argghhh!!!

The bits and pieces of the Shed of Argghhh!!!

Raised, finally. I tell ya, sometimes, when I see that deposit from the VA hit the bank I feel a little guilty about the size of it.

Then, I try to build a shed. I'm underpaid. It took us a month of weekends to do what probably should have been a weekend job.

Okay, some of that was inefficient materials handling, I admit it. Moving stuff more times than it needed to be be moved. But some of it you just can't avoid. Picking up the 1.5 tons of gravel and 1.5 tons of topsoil at the store and loading it onto the big cart. Then loading it into the car. Then off-loading it into the garden tractor's trailer. Drive. Off load at work site. Then, one more time, spreading the stuff around when you needed it. Turns out fatboy was lifting a lot more than 1.5 tons, even if it was 50 lbs at a time.

Then you have to dig the hole, to get things roughly level. SWWBO did that. She's good at digging. I watched from the ramparts with a 'Rita.

Then some screwing needed doing, so I went down to the work-site and screwed away. Oh, puh-leeze. Get yer mind outta the gutter. Assembling the frame for the gravel pit foundation.

Then, load in the topsoil and gravel, and get that sucker level. Pound in some rebar through holes in the frames so the thing won't migrate.

That's three weekends worth of work for slugs like us. And that's work to exhaustion.

Comes the Big Weekend. We really can't risk the weather too much more.

There's the shed. It's in boxes too big and heavy to move, so we leave it on the driveway, at the mercy of the elements. Finally, Prodigal Son and His Sweetums arrives, and he and she and SWWBO get pressed into service schlepping the pieces back to the work-site.

All right! Ready to go! The instructions being in the box buried under the others, I sit down to go through the assembly process. This things a snap-together plastic job, shouldn't be too much of a problem, right?

Heh. Farking thing needs to be on either a concrete slab (preferred, but ain't happening) or a 2"x6" framed wood foundation with 3/4" plywood floor. Treated, natch. Sigh.

Off to the Big Orange Boxy Store. Get the lumber, take it to get cut, rent their truck, load their truck, schlep it to the house, unload the truck, return their truck. Then everyone gets pressed into service to schlep the lumber back to the work site. Thus endeth Wednesday. Thursday is Thanksgiving, off to visit family! Come back Friday, too late to get anything done.

Saturday. Lay down the cement tiles to support the frame, get 'em mostly level. Lay out the frame. Start nailing. Get the sides done, start first stringer. Discover that lumber is cut to "rough dimensions," meaning it's going to be roughly 2"x6"x10'. They're pretty good about the 2"x6" part. It's the 10' they're a little sloppy with. Knock apart the frame. Get sawhorses. Get circular saw. Get tape measure. Schlep the damn wood up to where I've got a safe place to put the sawhorses. Measure. Measure again. Cut. Schlep the farking wood back down the yard to the work-site.

Put together the frame. 72 nails later, the Armorer is in agony. But the frame is built and anchored.

The Frame.

SWWBO renews her offer to buy a gun for the Arsenal. Woot! A gun!

Off to the Big Orange Boxy Store to buy a framing nail gun. The Armory now has Airsoft! Hey - it worked that way in Lethal Weapon II, right?

Bangity-bangity-bangity-bang-bang! SWWBO likes the new gun, too.

100 or so nails later, the frame and floor are done. The Arthritis of Argghhh!!! manifests itself in a manner not to be ignored this day. Undaunted, I determine that at least the finagle-danged floor of the shed will get finished on this day. 48 pan-head screws and 8 lag screws later, the floor of the Shed of Argghhh! is complete, and anchored to the frame.

I ponder my next move.

Whatever it is, it's gonna be tomorrow.

Morning dawns. To helk with blogging. I read email, make sure no one is being too naughty in the comments, slug down some coffee, and head for the work-site.

So, of course, it's gusty. And me trying to assemble light plastic panels seemingly suitable for wind-surfing.

I was supervised.

Undaunted, the walls go up. Then, the roof. There's some challenges there. Assembling the roof required the Presence of SWWBO.

SWWBO supervising roof assembly.

But she brought lunch, which was cool. There was some frolic (or disagreement) over who has successfully hunted the Wily French Fry of Argghhh! which made an appearance during lunch.

Finally, the roof of the Shed of Argghhh! is raised! Huzzah!

There were some last minute things that need attending to - like the door handles, shutters and window boxes. An itinerant furry blob was hired for that work.

Then comes the Loading of the Shed.

And finally, the doors close, and the Garden Tractor of Argghhh! sleeps under true cover (vice the deck) for the first time since it joined the motor fleet. The tractor and a buncha other stuff. Hey, that's what goes in sheds, right? Stuff?

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It didn't take long - but the Woodland Gnomes of Argghhh! made themselves at home, too. Loo and all.

Woodland Gnomes of Argghhh!!!

Do your Gnomes need homes? Get 'em right here, from Murray, Castle Worker-in-Metal. This particular home was one that went un-bid upon in the last Project Valour-IT fundraiser, so I ponied up the bucks for the donation and left it where the Gnomes would find it.

No Armorers were pierced or mashed in the making of this post.

Coda.

Comments on The Garden Shed of Argghhh!!!
beth briefed on November 26, 2006 05:52 PM

John did the bestest job ever erecting this structure!!!!

John of Argghhh! briefed on November 26, 2006 05:54 PM

She hired me for my erec@#$@^ BZzzt-Kapow!

Ouch! The PG-17c obviously is fully charged!

[smell of singed flesh]

WereKitten briefed on November 26, 2006 05:57 PM

dang.
John beat me to my own snark... but at least I wasn't the one beating off the PG17C this time!

(and judging by the arthritis issue, I'm guessing that's the only beating off that took place today)

*WAP*

DOH!

got me... that thing has LOOOOOONG arms!

Bad Cat Robot briefed on November 26, 2006 08:08 PM

Excellent. The high-mileage hydraulic fluid, the Extendo-Arms, and the Known Offender priority filter are working as planned. Bwahahaha!

Say, does anyone here know of some quick ways to increase Global Warming? I've got about an inch of snow that shouldn't be here.

John of Argghhh! briefed on November 26, 2006 08:23 PM

How sad - there's a snow-blade in that shed.

Neener-neener-neener!

Sgt Hook briefed on November 26, 2006 08:50 PM

That's a good looking shed, well done. What's in it?

Sgt Hook briefed on November 26, 2006 08:50 PM

That's a good looking shed, well done. What's in it?

arditi briefed on November 26, 2006 09:03 PM

Great job guys! Also, enjoyed the article.
Arditi

Maggie briefed on November 26, 2006 09:22 PM

Congratulations! Have you christened it yet?

Trias briefed on November 26, 2006 09:28 PM

A plastic shed complete it seems with little flower thingy for the sill. Is there anything holding the wood onto the blocks?

Barb briefed on November 26, 2006 11:30 PM

Trias... I suspect the answer to that is Yes - Gravity (*grin*).

Nice shed, what is that brightness in the sky? Is that the mythical "Sunshine" that BCR and I have heard so much about? heh.

Justthisguy briefed on November 27, 2006 01:55 AM

Dang, Sir! Had I been there, you could have counted on me to tote that barge and lift that bale. I wasn't there. Sorry. I feel yer sore muscles, if not yer pain.

All joking aside, looks very good.

pam briefed on November 27, 2006 04:33 AM

Love the shed, gnome home and the entire story...! What are those doohickeys jutting from underneath the windows?? Windowboxes, or very small a/c units? ;)

John of Argghhh! briefed on November 27, 2006 06:23 AM

Heh. Thank you for the kind words. However, methinks some of you didn't do well on the BlogSAT's. At least not on the reading and comprehension portion. 8^)

Let's answer those questions in order, with quotes from the post...

SGT Hook: "What's in it?" We'll assume the Sergeant Major's comment is brimming with irony, especially since he reinforced the point - but on the off chance he's been dealing with too many 01's lately:

Then comes the Loading of the Shed. (Note Link!)

And finally, the doors close, and the Garden Tractor of Argghhh! sleeps under true cover (vice the deck) for the first time since it joined the motor fleet. The tractor and a buncha other stuff. Hey, that's what goes in sheds, right? Stuff?

D'you really want the load plan, Sergeant Major? I can provide one...

Next!

Trias observes, "A plastic shed complete it seems with little flower thingy for the sill. Is there anything holding the wood onto the blocks?"

Yes, Trias, there is - aside from the gravity that Barb mentioned. That would have been this bit:

Put together the frame. 72 nails later, the Armorer is in agony. But the frame is built and anchored. [Notice the link!]

There are four screw-anchors going over a foot into the ground to keep the Outbuilding of Argghhh! from being a threat to the Wicked Witch during a Kansas windstorm.

Then, Pam: "What are those doohickeys jutting from underneath the windows?? Windowboxes, or very small a/c units? ;)"

Hmm, I guess I wasn't clear:

There were some last minute things that need attending to - like the door handles, shutters and window boxes. An itinerant furry blob was hired for that work.

I better get some coffee in me before I get overly-snarky!

As for naming it, Outbuilding of Argghhh! works for me, but I'll let SWWBO take on naming honors. This is her project. Without her vision and ability to make me work through pain, it never would have happened.

WereKitten briefed on November 27, 2006 07:32 AM

I'm on the "Known Offender Priority List"??

HOT GOLLY!
I made the list!
I made the list!
I made the list!

(heh. it's a lot better than making Mr. Black's fashion don't list)

Jane briefed on November 27, 2006 08:02 AM

well thats a sturdy looking sucker Beth, good job.

Montieth briefed on November 27, 2006 08:25 AM

Did you use stainless or galvanized nails on the PT wood?

Looks good John, but wouldn't one of these have been more appropriate for the Castle? Good place to park a piece of armor too!

I know a guy what has a 1.5 ton mounted chemical shelter for sale...Might have to do some work on the canvas though given how old it is.

Maggie briefed on November 27, 2006 08:46 AM

BCR - Did I make that list?

WK - I am jealous.

Armorer - Christening does not mean naming. Geez!

John of Argghhh! briefed on November 27, 2006 09:11 AM

Maggie - I'm well aware of what you meant. I'm just heedful of the PG-17c.

Monteith - I went cheap and used galvanized vice stainless.

But they aren't just regular nails.

jim b briefed on November 27, 2006 10:31 AM

"It didn't take long - but the Woodland Gnomes of Argghhh! made themselves at home, too. Loo and all."

I find it of no small concern that the Gnomes placed the Loo under the new structure. We all know how they love to smoke. That combined with a build up of methane gas are capable of producing the result of making the finished structure resemble photo one of the construction project.

jim b sips his morning Scoresby and sits back.

bad cat robot briefed on November 27, 2006 10:33 AM

Maggie, of course you are on the list. Actually there are several linked lists in a database, one for each type of bad behavior, and I see you are in the "Innuendo", "Corrupting General Morals", and "Suggestive Chitchat" tables. There's even a "usual suspects" one for general hard cases, for example. BillT heads that list.

Wild Thing briefed on November 27, 2006 10:44 AM

This looks great! What an accompolishment that is too. Love the photos too showing how it was step by step.

Beth looks adorable peeking over the roof like that. Great photo!!

Maggie briefed on November 27, 2006 10:46 AM

"Corrupting General Morals"

I would like to thank the Academy for this great honor..........

Now I want to corrupt the morals of a General. If I can just get MG Rick Lynch, 3rd ID to notice me!