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October 26, 2006

Mebbe this can be my retirement job...

They're used to war around here. In 1485, Henry VII snatched the Crown just 20 miles away at the Battle of Bosworth. A century and a half later, Oliver Cromwell's troops destroyed the royalists four miles from here at Naseby. During World War II, this very field was an RAF bombing range.

But even the hedgerows and all-seeing steeples of this ancient Northamptonshire hunting country cannot have witnessed anything quite as bizarre as this.

Two tanks are charging through thick mud, blasting away at each other. There is blood everywhere and I'm in the thick of it.

Wobbling around in the gunner's seat of my tank, I have my eyes glued to the periscope and I can see that the enemy is swivelling round to take a shot at me. I am determined to zero in on him first while I have a clear line of vision.

I'll hire on Bill to manage the Attack Helicopainters, and Dusty can manage the Painterbomber fleet... Monteith, CAPT H, and Maj Mike can handle the motor pool and training. Heartless Lib and Sergeant B can handle the infantry. Jim B and Frank can handle arty and mortars. Barb handles the money. BCR instruments the range and makes scary things. Maggie and Werekitten have the bar. Fuzzy runs the first aid station. JTG wanders around playing shell-shocked non-combatant... who will shoot you in the back. Might as well replicate the COE...

Read the rest here. H/t, Mike D.

I'll take suggestions on other duty laydowns, I'm just swagging this one quickly.