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September 26, 2006

One-Half Thumb Up--

--for "The Black Dahlia." Maggie thought it was a total waste, but there was sufficient gratuitous violence to keep me from dozing off (barely). I appreciate a decent body count -- even if it *was* a tad on the low side -- and it was a hoot spotting the anachronisms (e.g., Cop-walking-around-with-the-flashlight-held-next-to-his-ear. In 1947) and Hollywoodisms (e.g., a .38 is deadly accurate out to one hundred feet, kills instantaneously and produces an effect on an inch-thick steel support plate just slightly less than that of a 20mm shell)...

KtLW: "Shouldn't he be out of bullets?"

Me: "Nope. That's Jimmy Cagney's old pistol from 'Public Enemy' -- it'll fire forever without reloading..."

The deus-ex-machina ending neatly tied up all the loose ends -- the hero, who previously couldn't deduce four as being the product of two times two, evidently received divine revelation six minutes before the closing credits rolled.

Oh, well. At least it wasn't a chique flique.

And nobody we knew saw us there...

On a lighter note, I figure I'll pass along the following, sent to me by someone who *obviously* has sons. Heh. AFSis, this'n is for you:

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like…

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than those of 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old adult says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Most Legos will pass entirely through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. “Play-Dough” and “microwave” should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject PB & J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, Texas, has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of women who read this will pass it along to 90% of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid…