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September 09, 2006

In a nutshell--

--the rumors of my

a. demise,
b. moving into a cave in West Virginia,
c. going drinking with Paris Hilton (or doing anything else with Paris Hilton),
d. bodily ascension into heaven, or
e. finally landing another job

are all

1. True
or
2. False

Circle your choice on the monitor using a No. 2 pencil. Insure all erasures are complete or you may receive an incorrect score at the Last Judgement.

*sigh*

Since I got that first-hand experience in the mutability of the defense budget, KtLW has been in full-blown Panic Mode--which means she micromanages *everything*, to include me. If I ain't creating, updating, posting or pasting a masterfully-written, marvelously concise, perfectly-tailored resume for every job vacancy in the Western Hemisphere, I am obviously Wasting Precious Time. And, since she intends to see that I *don't* Waste Precious Time, she spends
Every.
Waking.
Minute.
breathing down my neck.

No blogs. No blogging. I haven't had my Day By Day fix in weeks. I have no idea what *anybody* has been writing about.

Heh. Toss me some gouda to go with this whine...

And why haven't I answered any gmails? Simple. Ever since I tried to answer a query from Trias ("What's 'hooah' mean, anyway?"), I get the following cheery message every time I log in: "Gee, it seems to be taking a lot longer than usual to load your mailbox. If it fails to load in the next few minutes, go to the Help Desk." So, several minutes later (continually minimizing and restoring the daylights out of the screen due to KtLW's unannounced inspections to see if I'm WPT), I click the Help Desk link and get sent here...

Somehow, it seems appropriate.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Nothing much else is newsworthy except that squirrels overran the three churches in town last month.

After much prayer, the elders of the Presbyterian church decided that the animals were predestined to be there, and who were they to interfere with God's will?

Soon, the squirrels multiplied…

The council of the Episcopalian church decided that they could not harm any of God's creatures, so they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside of town.

Next day, the squirrels were back…

The pastor and the deacon of the Catholic church baptized the squirrels and registered them as parishioners.

Now they'll only see them at Christmas and Easter…