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August 14, 2006

No Good Deed Ever Goes Unpunished

Okay, the thirteenth is officially over (where I am, anyway), so my 24-hour tour in the Tanker Brothers’ Rolling Fast for Victory is over.

I'd originally figured Sunday would be a good day for a fast, since I’d only planned to do some yard work until dark, then put in a couple of hours’ worth of job-hunting on the ‘net. Nothing to work up an appetite over.

“The best-laid plans” etc.

I hadn’t figured on KtLW ‘n’ me being invited to a Polish Baptism--two kids we’d watched grow from knee-high to marriage-height had turned their parents into grandparents two weeks before. Since I couldn’t beg off, I had about an hour of windshield time to figure out how to

a. avoid chowing down and

b. explain why I wouldn’t be eating without sounding like a total idiot.

And if you’ve never experienced a Polish Baptism, imagine an Italian wedding minus the dancing and substitute paprika for oregano.

Comestibles.

Kielbasa in beer with red cabbage.

Apricot ham slices.

Pierogis, kopytka, rugelach, honey spice cake…

…*sigh*…

However, by judicious application of the principles of maskirovka and the addition of some suitable props (i.e., flatware, a plate with a couple of potato salad smears, a mug of coffee) and some compliments to the ladies about the pastries, I validated the dictum that people see what they expect to see and didn’t collect any adverse remarks about being too good for the food.

Total intake for the day: one glass of water and most of the contents of a 20-cup coffee urn.

And, now that I can munch something without suffering the qualms of conscience, there isn’t anything in the house except dog food. KtLW decided to forego her normal Saturday shopping expedition “because I knew we wouldn’t be hungry after eating all that food on Sunday.”

Rats.

Wonder what kibble with mustard tastes like…