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July 23, 2006

Top Ten Reasons I Became A Planner

All you old 53's 54's out there will identify with this. As will any military planner.

Hell, *any* planner.

Rule #1 of Planning: While nobody will go to their barber for brain surgery, *everybody* is an expert at whatever it is you do, and they think you're too stupid to rate a "sapiens" behind your homo.

Snerk. I bet some people spun somewhere else completely. I know I got a grumpy beep from the PG-17c...

Top Ten Reasons Why I Became a Planner:

10. Everyone needs a new concept of Hell.
9. I figured a gun to the head was too painless.
8. Economics graduates need to work for someone.
7. I could easily justify getting fired.
6. I volunteered for a sleep deprivation experiment.
5. I don't need a social/family life anyway.
4. I wanted to leave the world more complicated than I found it.
3. I couldn't get into the plumber's union.
2. I always had a burning desire to be "doctrinally correct."

And the Number 1 reason I became a planner?

1. Masochism, masochism, masochism...

H/t Carl F. via Jim C.

Heh. I became a planner because my math background was too weak to be an ORSA (my original secondary/functional area). Which is ironic, considering what I do now is... ORSA. Planning sucked so bad (if you are really good at it, you can't escape it and do fun things) you read Dante's Inferno as a vacation guide. Most GO-level commanders are people who weren't good planners themselves but knew how to shackle in the dungeon the good planners they ran into. Heh. They fed us logisticians.

I was lucky - because I understood computers, they let me out to run the computer models and I snuck out while they were all oooohing and aaaaaahing at the pretty pictures on the screen and got myself designated as a Simulations Operations geek. I fooled my boss by telling him, "Hey, operations is operations, no worries!" Then he found out that sim geeks had their own assignments guys!

Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!