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June 21, 2006

*Not* a Whatziss. For a change...

An attorney got home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client, James Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea to the governor for clemency had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through his front door, his wife started in on him: "What time of night do you call this? Where have you been?" And on and on and on and on...

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went to the liquor cabinet, poured himself a stiff shot of scotch, and headed off for a long, hot soak in the bathtub.

He was pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. His wife answered and was told that the governor had relented and granted her husband's client his stay of execution. She finally realized what a day he must have had and proceeded upstairs to give him the good news.

She opened the bathroom door and was greeted by the sight of her husband's rear end as he was bent over, naked, drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she announced.

He whirled around and screamed, "OH, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, the mug, the plaque and the scars to prove it. Heh--a tip o' the dinged flight helmet to Two-Niner.