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February 14, 2006

Candy Hearts...

...are short and sweet. Like the entries below.

Uhhhh--well, they're *short,* anyway...

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A dyslexic walks into a bra...

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, 'It's Not Unusual'."

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true! No bull!" exclaims Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank.
Proving once again, you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

And finally--

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

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H/t to LL (no, neither of the bloggers).