Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Over...

Ever since there have been civilizations, there have been military organizations, and there have been military leaders who have been given affectionate nicknames by their men.

Howlin’ Mad Smith.

31-Knot Burke.

Bomber Harris.

And in this time-honored tradition, I, too, have recently been screwed over had a nicknamed bestowed upon me.

Sugar Buttons.

Oh, I’ve had nicks before, but of all the asinine, kick-in-the-nuts, teeth-grinding endearing cutsie-poo bullshit pet names I’ve had stuck up my been tagged with, I must confess that the latest friggin’ sophomoric effort one has frosted my balls touched me the most, since it was given to me by a pack of back-stabbing weaselettes the Denizennes.

Now, about this Sugar Buttons thang. It’s a type of candy that was popular in the 50s and is currently undergoing a resurgence in that popularity--Retro is still alive and well. Although the manufacturer calls ‘em Candy Buttons and they’re known by that moniker world-wide, except, evidently, in São Paulo, Brazil and Cincinnati, Ohio, out of deference to the Denizenne who tagged me, I’ll keep it Sugar Buttons.

They’re the subject of fond memory...

Candy Buttons memories... Candy buttons on the paper card were always a treat for those of us who liked to play "hospital." If I somehow got some of them, I would round up a couple other children - someone always had one of those little plastic "doctor's bags" that contained a play stethoscope, a headband with a funny mirror, and a pretend syringe. We'd stuff the candy buttons in the bag, and the doctor would make rounds.

Heh. Playing “Doctor” without Candy Buttons/Sugar Buttons on hand? Unthinkable...

Rock hard, sweet and they come in three different flavors.

So, I guess I really *am* Sugar Buttons…

Sooooo, now it’s time to name the unit. Something catchy and alliterative, like Merrill’s Marauders, or Kane’s Killers...

...or the Sugar Buttons Brigade.

Presenting the Second Squad of the First Platoon, Delta Company, Third Battalion.

The rest of the Brigade is bivouaced in the Jungle Room--I’ve got a busy training schedule lined up.

Squad--‘Ha-Tennnn-SHUN! Hot Tub Drill---Move out!

Sugar Buttons, eh?

Bite me! Later, y'awl.