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January 04, 2006

There Are Rules...

Although this place may appear to be an anarchist's toolshed at times, it's actually a fairly structured environment. As with pretty much anything involving human beings, there are rules--some written, some unwritten, but rules nonetheless.

The trick lies in discovering the unwritten rules without inadvertently running afoul of them. So, continuing with the Castle's series of Public Service Educational Events, I've decided to level the playing field for one particular sport in which all the rules have been unwritten--until now.

The Rules for Indoor Golf.

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

Continued in Flash Traffic. Hey, there are rules, ya know...?

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well-formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played (or are currently playing) to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly before arriving to play a course for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they had considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair and are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play under these circumstances.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any and all undergrowth around the hole to allow for improved viewing, alignment and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

H/t to Whom It May Concern: Forgot you sent me this, didn't ya?