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September 27, 2005

Hmmmmm...

...FbL tags John and AFSis tags me. Bleaugh. 'Nother chick quiz.

Congress must've declared this "Fatal Attraction to Milbloggers Week."

But the madness ends with me! I will refrain from dropping it like an incontinent Pekinese into some hapless innocent's lap!

Besides, I think everybody else has already been scr -- uhhhh -- tagged with this. And, in order to spare the sensitive among you, I've buried the whole sordid mess in Flash Traffic/Extended Entry. Sooo, just keep scrolling past, no need to peek...

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?

First, ‘tain’t my blog--John pays the bills and tolerates my random acts of posting.
Second, no, I try to look hot so that nobody will recognize me from the blog.
Geez--I live in New Jersey--if you say “blog,” they think you’re talking cranberries or Mafia graveyards…

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?

Why Photoshop something when the real thing is out there? And usually funnier?

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?

Only if they keep doing it after the second date.

4. Do you lie in your blog?

I don’t have to--I’m scary enough fer-real.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?

No. Care to make sumthin’ of it, sugarplum?

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?

Hah! You’re seriously overestimating the masochistic proclivities of the Denizens.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?

Physical therapy? Not since my wrist healed. Thanks for asking.
Oh--the other kind. No, but there are probably valid arguments for both stances. F'r instance, in 1969, a shrink spent a week with us in the Delta as part of some Fort Sam study on the typical aviator's visceral response to working in-and-around sustained automatic weapons fire; he reported that
a. we were categorically not sane by anybody’s definition and
b. if he were told he only had a week to live, he’d spend it palling around with a bunch of Army helicopter pilots.
Go figure.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?

[*answer deleted by respondent*]

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?

I told you, I live in New Jersey. My definition of “rubbing one out” probably varies drastically from yours.
And no, I don’t know where Jimmy Hoffa is…

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?

Good question. Sadly, the blogger chicks I have met don’t drop in at the site and comment much anymore.
However, my e-mailbox now qualifies as a branch office of the Penthouse Advisor…

11. Do you have a job?

Yes. And I intend to keep it for as long as it continues to get me out of the house. “No, I’d really, really rather NOT telecommute. Honest.”

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?

Heh--go back and re-read the answer to question 6.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?

Depends on
a. when my body armor gets back from the cleaners and
b. if I can get the tack welds from the last comment party off the 27” zipper.
Actually, I figure the Usual Suspects--AFSis, FbL, Barb, BCR, SWWBO (and John), Sarge B, and the Comment Party Gang--would make for a helluva get-down.
Wonder what the hourly rate is for Area 51…

14. Which bloggers have you made out with?

See answer 12.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?

I usually operate on the assumption that KtLW made a wallet raid before I left the house. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it’s a valid assumption. The other one percent of the time, she bags my credit card, too.

16. Does your family read your blog?

Nope. They’re still trying to live down the embarassment of one of my brothers joining the Marines…

17. How old is your blog?

I’m only gonna reiterate this once--‘tain’t my blog. I just drop in for comic relief.
And sometimes I even contribute to it.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?

The site gets about three times that. I figger my posts get at least fifteen hundred views because you’ve gotta scroll past them to get to the good stuff. Getting a touch smarmy on me?

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?

Drat. You’ve discovered that I’m actually the DU...

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?

You’re kidding. People actually make money doing this?

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?

What’s this hangup you have with blogging and money? I always thought the two were mutually exclusive, except for the continual outgo of the latter…

22. Is blogging narcissistic?

I’ll let you know as soon as I’ve finished contemplating my reflection in the tarn…

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?

Only when John sends those whining e-mails…

24. Do you like John Mayer?

First, tell me if you like Dick Rosmini.

25. Who?

Precisely.

26. Do you have enemies?

Only the ones I didn’t lead enough.

27. Are you lonely?

Are you trying to pick me up?

28. Why bother?

Why the rhetorical question?