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August 25, 2005


...we forget the degree to which television has affected (and sometimes infected) the consciousness of virtually every living soul on the planet.

F'rinstance, there are people living a thousand miles from the nearest Sports Bar who are as familiar with American football as we are, as witness the following. It was making the rounds when I was doing the Peacekeeper thang, and is even funnier in Serbo-Croatian...

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Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he sees a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spots a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He throws a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 100 yards away--ka-boom! He throws another hand grenade into a group of ten soldiers 200 yards away--ka-blooey! Then a car full of gunmen passes, going 90 kmh--bulls-eye!

"I've got to get this guy!" Ross says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States, teaches him the great game of football and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history.

The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of football and when Ross asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."

"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No, let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight..."

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

CW4BillT | Permalink | Comments (8) | I think it's funny!
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