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August 18, 2005

Para Humour

*rustle-rustle* *toss-thrash-scatter*

Let's see what tumbles out of the Big Bag o' Boz Trons.

*snap-crackle-pop* *skzzzzzt!*

Hah! Almost forgot that I took notes when the Brits from Banja Luka stopped in for coffee...

Shakespeare walks into a pub.
"Get out!" says the barman, "You're Bard."

Prince Edward to Prince Charles: "How's your bottom, old chap?"
Charles: "Shut up."
Edward: "Really? Must be all this cold weather we're having."

Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One turns to the other and asks, "Do you smell fish?"

A man enters a competition in a local newspaper looking for a witty word-play to complete a picture caption. He tries to boost his chances of winning by entering the competition ten times. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, agnostic?
He stayed up all night, wondering whether or not there was a Dog.

Prince Charles is opening a new hospital in Cramlington.
He is dressed in a sober suit with a ridiculous hat with a real fox mounted on top of it.
After the plaque is unveiled, one nurse can contain her curiosity no longer and asks him, "Why are you wearing that silly hat with a stuffed animal on top, your highness?"
"Well," explains the prince, "this morning at Highgrove, I told my butler I was coming to Cramlington to open a hospital, and he said to me, 'Cramlington? Wear the fox hat?' "

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

Bloke goes to the doctors with a steering wheel down his trousers.
Doctor says "what seems to be the trouble?"
Bloke replies "I dunno, but it's driving me nuts."

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Could I have a pint of . . . . . . . . lager, please?"
The barman says, "Why the big pause?"

Two goldfish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an elephant and an aardvark walk into a pub.
Barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Hmmm--if I'd sprung for capuccino, they might have told a few more...

CW4BillT | Permalink | Comments (7) | I think it's funny!
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