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July 14, 2005

So much time...

...so little work. From the Big Bag of SFOR Stray Trons comes this gem. Do you guys remember when the Special Forces spent their time training when they weren't off doing Sneaky Pete stuff? John's gonna love this one...

From: Doerr, Pete [Peter.Doerr@email-tc3.5sigcmd.army.mil]
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2001 9:21 PM
To: Tuttle, Bill [William.Tuttle@email-tc3.5sigcmd.army.mil]
Subject: OPORD on Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremonies

Importance: Low

Hey, Bill - Just when you think we’ve got it bad here…

DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY
HEADQUARTERS, SPECIAL TROOPS BATTALION, V CORPS
UNIT 29355
APO AE 09014

14 November 2001

AETV-STB

MEMORANDUM FOR SEE DISTRIBUTION

SUBJECT: Holiday Tree Lighting and Holiday Party Memorandum of Instruction (MOI)

1. Purpose. This MOI establishes responsibilities for conducting the 2001 Headquarters, V Corps Holiday Tree Lighting Ceremony and Holiday Party scheduled for Friday, 7 December 2001, from 1800 to 2030hrs.

2. Concept. The lighting of the tree and the party are family functions. All soldiers, DOD civilians and family members are invited to attend. The activities will be conducted on Campbell Barracks. The tree lighting is in front of Bldg #9 from 1800 to 1830. The party will be held at the food court area (pending) on the north side (Bldg #31) from 1900 to 2030.

3. This mission is executed in four phases.

a. Phase I. Planning and preparation phase includes assigning responsibility for actions/tasks, locking in required resources, formalizing plans, and providing In-Progress Reviews (IPR) to the Commander. Phase I is complete 7 December.

b. Phase II. Set-up. Tree decorating, bleacher/chair placement, canopy set-up, room decoration at food court. 070900 Dec 01 to 091800 Dec 01.

c. Phase III. Execution.
(1). 071800 Dec 01 to 072030 Dec 01 for the tree lighting and party.
(2). 072030 Dec 01 to 072200 Dec 01 for cleanup of the tree lighting and party locations.
(3). 072200 Dec 01 to 031500 Jan 02 for continuous maintenance of the tree, dusk to dawn lighting of the tree, tear-down and recovery of decorations on the tree.

Continued in Extended Entry/Flash Traffic -- I don't want to blow the bottom out of the blog.

4. Responsibilities:

a. HHC.
(1) Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail. Provide name to STB S-3 NLT 15 NOV.
(2) Secure and set-up food for the party.
(3) Purchase candy and bags. Prepare candy bags for the children.
(4) Coordinate with S-4 for all funding requirements.
(5) Provide Food Detail NCOIC.
(6) Provide 1 X 2 1/2 ton with driver for movement of soldiers, supplies and equipment on 7 Dec.
(7) Locate and secure decorations for the tree and the party. Coordinate with S-3 for requirements and with HHC for funding.

b. G1. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.

c. G2. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.

d. G3.
(1) Provide two soldiers (rank immaterial) for work detail.
(2) Coordinate for and install a PA system at the tree lighting location.

e. G4. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) to serve as Santa's Helper.

f. G6. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.

g. SJA. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.

h. NBC. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.

j. AG. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.

k. CHAP. Deliver invocation at tree lighting.

l. SGS. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.

m. CMD
(1) Coordinate with S-3 for Chief of Staff and Command Sergeant Major participation in the tree lighting.
(2) Provide one (1) podium to work detail NCOIC NLT 070900 Dec for Commander of the Tree (COT) remarks during the tree lighting.

n. STB S-1.
(1) Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for work detail.
(2) Publicize event in the Herald Post.
(3) Publicize on AFN Radio during 1-7 Dec period.

o. STB S-3.
(1) Provide NCOIC.
(2) Publish MOI.
(3) Coordinate use of the Food Court.
(4) Coordinate with VCI and/or TSC for photographic support.
(5) Coordinate for a narrator.
(6) Establish decoration requirements.
(7) Coordinate for tree trimming and electrical switch for tree lights.

p. STB S-4.
(1) Provide funding for decorations and other supplies.
(2) Assist HHC with purchasing and arranging candy bags for the children.

q. BMO. Provide one soldier (rank immaterial) for food detail.

5. Coordinating Instructions.

a. The uniform is civilian attire or BDU.

b. All activities are open to soldiers, their family members and civilians assigned to Headquarters, V Corps (ID card holders and registered guests).

c. Sections will allow soldiers to depart work in sufficient time to change into civilian attire and pick up their families, mission dependent.

d. Sections will assist in maximum dissemination of information and encourage soldiers and family members to attend.

e. Sections tasked for anything other than soldiers will appoint a POC who will attend all IPRs and submit after action review comments. IPR schedule:
IPR #3 151500NOV 01
IPR #4 211600NOV 01
IPR #5 281600NOV 01
IPR #6 031000DEC 01 Final IPR

6. Report times and uniform for details.

a. Work Detail.
(1) Work detail will set up and tear down the tree lighting and party sites.
(2) Sections provide names of tasked soldiers and POCs to S-3 NLT 21 Nov 01.
(3) Work detail personnel report to SSG as directed on 05 and 07 Dec 01.
(4) Uniform for work detail is BDU with black gloves and Gortex jacket.

b. Santa's Helpers.
(1) Santa's Helpers will be chosen from among the work detail, and used during the party to control the Santa line and help with the candy distribution.
(2) Uniform for Santa's Helpers will be provided.

c. Food Detail. Food detail will be chosen from among the tasked soldiers. Report to Food Detail NCOIC at Bldg 115, Patton Barracks
071500Dec01.

8. The POC is

[Name deleted to save bandwidth]
LTC, SF
Commanding

DISTRIBUTION: E

ANNEX A Timeline

ANNEX A (MILESTONES/SCHEDULE) to V Corps Holiday Tree Lighting and Party '01

[improperly formatted Excel chart deleted to preclude further embarrassment to anyone even remotely connected with SF]

Yup, you read the signature block correctly. Lieutenant Colonel, Special Forces...

*sigh* Just.Plain.*sigh*

For the non-MilSpeakers, translations of acronyms and abbreviations as follows:


OPORD: OPeration/OPerating ORDer
IPR: In-Progress Review (aka the Self-Flagellation Fest)
HHC: Headquarters and Headquarters Company
S-1/G-1: Personnel Officer/Section
S-2/G-2: Intelligence Officer/Section
S-3/G-3: Plans, Training and Operations Officer/Section
S-4/G-4: Supply Officer/Section
G-6: Liaison Officer/Section
[note: G-prefix indicates Commanding General's staff. Why a Battalion Commander would task members of his boss's entourage is beyond my mind-boggled comprehension]
SJA: Staff Judge Advocate's Office (the lawyers)
NCOIC: NCO In Charge
POC: Point Of Contact