Archive Logo.jpg

April 20, 2005

Request Denied.

Sorry Dave, your request could not be honored. The Denizen Staff worked an alternative instead - and got it approved.

Oh, Bill? Fly, drive, and weed-whack carefully, bro - for about a year, eh?

REPLY: MEMORANDUM FOR: SUPREME COMMANDER, HEAVEN AND EARTH (GOD)

FROM: Mortal Plane Command, GUardian Angel Rapid Deployment System (GUARDS) Base ARCHON

SUBJECT: Detached Temporary Duty Request for Guardian Angel (GA): CPT [Heartless Libertarian]

Request forwarded to MPC and evaluated. Specific request of temporary duty detachment for GA assigned to CPT [Heartless Libertarian] is DENIED.
MPC is committed to its mission of providing GA support to those in its theater of operation. This precludes leaving CPT [Heartless Libertarian] without an assigned GA at any time. A received request from SPC [Heartless Libertarian] also specifically requests additional support for CPT [Heartless Libertarian], due to looming domestic responsiblities requiring additional support.
While CPT [Heartless Libertarian], as noted, appears to have current adequate GA support, MPC concurs with recommendation of additional GA personnel to augment SPC [Heartless Libertarian]'s current allotment. ANGSPC Penumbra is on record as requesting assistance and additional training.
A GA Specialist Team is currently available and has volunteered, specifically requesting a combat-area posting. MPC believes this experienced, if slightly damaged team will be able to provide the additional support requested.
The following have been issued orders, effective immediately, to take up position in support of SPC [Heartless Libertarian]'s assigned GA: ANG1C Dolorius, ANGSPC Malodorus, ANGMSG Carborundum, and ANG1LT Excelsius.


[When examined by ultraviolet light, the following handwritten comments were found in the margins]



-She doesn't fly helicopters, does she? Oh please, no helicopters. The dreams will come back …

-Calm down, Malodorus. Read the briefing again. Community outreach! Children! You like children, don't you?

-I dunno, Carborundum. Sometimes they have sticky fingers. My feather implants can't take that. Why do they always have to hand out candy? It's dangerous!

-You are such a wuss, Malodorus. You aren't the only one with wing damage, but do you hear the Ell-Tee complain?

- He's still shaking too hard to talk. Somebody mentioned power lines. It didn't take him as long to stop screaming, though. I think he's getting better.

-We're gonna have to keep the explosions away to keep him on the road to recovery. Got that, you lot? Protect the human, give ANGSPC Penumbra some pointers so she doesn't screw up as much, and keep the Ell-Tee in his Calm Happy Place. After Tuttle, this should be a piece of cake. Hey, where's my teddy bear?

Comments on Request Denied.
kat-missouri briefed on April 20, 2005 06:55 PM

Somebody needs to tell the GA that Ell-Tee is running around without a gird on, his buckler is still stuck in that tree and I saw neffi hiding his sword in armory. something about he's always wanted one of those cool light sabers.

John of Argghhh! briefed on April 20, 2005 06:59 PM

Muffy! Get the Ell-Tee's sword back from Neffi!

John of Argghhh! briefed on April 20, 2005 07:00 PM

Oh, and Muffy? *Extreme Prejudice* is authorized!

Neffi briefed on April 20, 2005 07:20 PM

Yikes! Narc-ed by Kat... Come and get it, Muffy babe! ummm... she doesn't bite does she...? [snaps in fresh CO2 cartridge in Thorazine dart gun]
and sure- assign all the GAs to extra duty elsewhere, when I gotta fly into the Craven Farm Saturday morning. Harold and Lisa graded a 'strip' and are hosting a fly-in. No wires or trees to sweat, but the strip looks like something you'd fly RC planes off...
legal disclaimers-
- expressing concern over the landing strip does not make me 'craven'
- the last time I 'graded a strip' I was at Shotgun Willie's in Denver, and yes- I tucked a dollar into her G-string
phew- that should head off the snarks... maybe

Neffi briefed on April 20, 2005 07:25 PM

"phew- that should head off the snarks... maybe"
....tosses snowball into Aitch-EE-double ELL...

bad cat robot briefed on April 20, 2005 08:35 PM

Neffi, my sweet ... you have exactly as many guardian angels as you ever had. Those are Bill's.

Boquisucio briefed on April 20, 2005 08:37 PM

Does Malodorous guard you against those who have B.O., or Sewer Breath?

And Carborundum, does he does the trick against impudent and abrasive SOB's?

Neffi briefed on April 20, 2005 09:05 PM

'Neffi, my sweet ...', said BCR. Who needs GAs? my life is now complete... sigh. Sure, I know- she sez that to every drunken, stumble-bum aviator that staggers her way [whisks away imaginary flies]. BCR, I shall fly into the Craven farm knowing that my normal contingent of GAs are watching over my shoulder (no doubt gibbering in terror). They've done me well thus far...

Justthisguy briefed on April 20, 2005 10:46 PM

I have seen the pics of Mrs/Spc Heartless Libertarian. I'm thinking right now of the one which has her dressed like a schoolgirl, and holding an Evil Black Rifle. She's a distractor and a heartbreaker. (Jest talking about the effect of her appearance on my own mind, y'all understand?) It's no wonder her hubby's getting a bit mental; modern times have put us into upside-down social situations. (compared to how we were raised)