A recently-declassified surveillance tape from the Pentagon E-Wing (okay--Muffy found it in the dumpster) appears to shed some light on the circumstances regarding the Armorer's retirement from the Army...
[*cue tape*]
[*focus on general officer standing by classified document shredder in hallway with piece of paper in hand*]
[*audio pickup: approaching footsteps*]
(General's voice) "Major Donovan, do you know how to work this thing? My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it."
(Major's voice) "Yes, sir."
[*major turns on shredder, takes paper from General, feeds it in*]
(General's voice) "Now, I just need one copy..."
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