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March 25, 2005

Now It Can Be Told...

A recently-declassified surveillance tape from the Pentagon E-Wing (okay--Muffy found it in the dumpster) appears to shed some light on the circumstances regarding the Armorer's retirement from the Army...

[*cue tape*]

[*focus on general officer standing by classified document shredder in hallway with piece of paper in hand*]

[*audio pickup: approaching footsteps*]

(General's voice) "Major Donovan, do you know how to work this thing? My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it."

(Major's voice) "Yes, sir."

[*major turns on shredder, takes paper from General, feeds it in*]

(General's voice) "Now, I just need one copy..."