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March 17, 2005

That Latin Thang

Those of you who have not had the benefit of a classical education, thereby enabling you to snark in five languages--four of them defunct and one of those without an alphabet--are probably feeling somewhat frustrated by the increasing popularity of Latin in the Castle denizens' one-upmanship snarks.

Our newly-instituted Continuing Adult (heh) Education Program is designed remedy this unfortunate situation.

The first lesson: Contemporary Latin Throwaway Phrases. Now you, too, can drape yourself in a toga (also suitable for weekend party-wear), recline [*thud*] ow-- keep your seats--and mingle with the literati without fear of embarrassment.

Domino vobiscum.
(The pizza guy is here.)

Scribet similarum ad amphibious gaius.
(They all post like Sarge B.)

Sharpei diem.
(Seize the wrinkled dog.)

Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus.
(Remove foil before microwaving.)

Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploimi ad infinitum.
(Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.)

Habet XXIII skiduu.
(Great caboose, cutie.)

Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum,
minutus scrupulus descendum pantalorum
(A little song, a little dance, a little scruple down your pants.)

And no, I won't do Irish jokes. I'm already in enough trouble, since I am, in the words of my buddy Norm, a
[*snarl*] "Bluidy, lang-leggit Sassenach!"
[*sneer*] "Dress-wearing, haggis-munching Pict!"
[*clink of Guinness containers*]

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!