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March 09, 2005

Money can't buy happiness...

...but it can buy cool stuff, and take away debt pressures, which eases family strains... okay, money *can* buy happiness, properly channeled.

Castle Denizen Barb, responding to Graumagus, offers up the "if money were not an object, what 5 Really Expensive Toys would I buy for myself?"

Barb offers up this list.

We find Graumagus's list intriguing, and appropriate for the Castle.

So, what would the Armorer want...

1. Land. Where I can do silly things like this, even though this isn't a mountain view...

Land in a machinegun-friendly state, preferably in mountains, but not too high. The Mistress of the Castle gets cranky at altitude. Meadows, lake, forest. Lots of room to ride the horses and let 'em run free. With a large predator sensor that shoos 'em away. Spot for an airstrip. Hanger for when Dusty, Neffi, Bill, or anybody else comes to visit. Stables. Sufficient range for the small arms and artillery of the Arsenal to be fired safely.

2. The Castle. Big, rambling, room to display the collection - including the covered motor pool. Rooms to lounge in, rooms for guests, wired and wireless. Machine shop so the Armorer could buy broke stuff cheap and fix it. Robots. Sauna/hot tub, fully equipped studio for the Mistress. Little doors in odd places for the Interior Guard to move through the house at will - that the Littlest Exterior Guard can't get to or through. Large Library, walls throughout for the art and bullet boards, G-scale train running through the house. Capable of delivering comestibles to guests. Big bar/lounge area. Think mountain lodge with Fortress overtones. No stairs, except for the impressive one flanking the foyer with the James 12-pounder in it (the Mistress *does* like bronze!) Flagpole out front with 25pdr gun for a noon/salute/retreat gun. The Castle must have a high tower with office/observatory on top. Wired, of course. Telescope, too. Multiple control stations at strategic locations for the security system.

3. Investment account sufficient to greatly expand the Arsenal's holdings and expand the Armorer's evil agenda of more guns for more people! Plus, it gives the Armorer the ability to host (and help subsidize) Denizen-only Castle Tours Cricket is responsible for setting up the first one, to England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales. Alan can set up the "Forts of Canada" tour. Barb and Jack get France. I'll take Germany. Bill gets the Balkans. Who wants Austria? Origen Plotinus gets Switzerland. Who wants Italy? Spain? The Baltics? Eastern Europe? CAPT H gets the Tank Museums of the World tour, Mostly Cajun can help. Neffi has the Great Aircraft Museums of the World tour...

Okay, only 3, because #3 enables the rest.

So, what's in your wallet?

*Photos of Haut-Koenigsbourg and cannon at Les Invalides thoughtfully provided by Barb. Hi-res available here and here.