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February 24, 2005

For Longtime Castle Denizens... analysis, please.

[Armorer's Note: Look who has set up an office at the Castle...! I *knew* I should have changed the da*n locks!]

I was preparing some links for this morning’s post and, at about 1:15am, there was an inexplicable power failure in the Armory. The emergency lighting also failed and the protective irises on the security cams closed, but the newly-installed digital audio system continued to function normally.
The following is a transcription of the odd activities which evidently occurred during the blackout:

[*rattle, rattle-click. scurry-scurry-scamper-scurry.*]

>>hzzz. bad cat robot lady gadget work. sweet.
>>name jake, look for big-tribble-with-legs.

[*scurry. thump. scurry.*]

>>not see, name muffy. prolly play with cat-thing name annie.
>>name scout, look for bigfoot.
>>who that?
>>gray fur on top of head look like squashed tribble. feet look like battleship row.
>>that rotorhead. prolly fixing heater in big water dish outside wall.
>>name scout same name dimbulb. rotorhead persona, only ‘lectrons. bigfoot real. same thing john of ack ‘lectron persona, big-tribble-with-legs real.
>>name muffy, find cat-thing name hal. name hal say bigfoot not here.
>>hzzzz. maybe at white fur lady pless apologizing for scrup’l mess again. name kc, fetch scrup’l butt over here and also bring scrup’l nose.
>>who die, make name muffy king crap?
>>name kc be name mud if not get scrup’l buns over now. name muffy think great idea. scrup’l crate not big enough confine great thought. f-r-e-e-e-e-d-o-o-o-m-m.
>>express of surprise. also of disbelief that head of name muffy could contain thought of any size.
>>name now mud. put nose to many-small-blocks-cage and press this.
[click] a
..hzzz. name jake, go donjon pless, watch. if see big-tribble-with-legs, come back.
>>name jake gets cookie if does this?
>>cookie at white fur lady pless. name mud, press this.
[click] l
[click] l
>>hzzzzz. need nano e.m.p. subcortex interface for ‘puter. this slow like church on new year’s eve.
>>name muffy, find cat-thing name annie. name annie say big-tribble-with-legs and pretty-lady-who-scratches-cat-chin go visit strine beer-food-beer pless.
>>hzzzz. name mud, press here.
>>now here.
[click] y
>>name scout, look through hole in wall of white fur lady pless, watch for bigfoot. hzzzzz. scrup’ls make mess size of cthulhu’s butt there last night, bigfoot be there for cleanup. ears prolly still ache from las’ time white fur lady throw crying jag over trivet. name mud, press here.
[click] o
>>hzzzz. this take all millennium this rate.
>>name muffy. bigfoot see name scout at white fur lady pless and freak. chase name scout over to barb lady pless.
>>hzzz. big pless, lossa small hidey-rooms. be there all night try catch name scout. name mud, press here.
[click] u
>>and here.
[click] r
>>name muffy, donjon pless locked. bigfoot take bad cat robot lady toolkit. cookie, plizz.
>>name jake go white fur lady pless and do roll-over-play-possum. white fur lady sucker for cute scrup’l tricks. then name jake make crumbs for keep bigfoot occupied. name mud, here.
>>and here.
[click] d
>>name muffy, what is great idea name muffy have?
>>this place nexus. scrup’l take over here, then next blog. then next blog. create empire in blogosphere.
>>name mud think that name muffy delusional.
>>press here, name mud. name be cthulhu-booger soon.
[click] a
>>name muffy be too flippant ‘bout cthulhu. elder gods tough cookies.
>>what happen when nyarlathotep fall through hole in fabric of space-time continuum last week and demand bren and czech sks as tribute?
>>big-tribble-with-legs tell nyarlathotep to go pound sand for not knowing czechs never make sks.
>>riverbank now much smaller.
>>press here.
[click] t
>>and here.
[click] a
>>name muffy, hear name scout scurry back.
>>press here.
>>and here.
[click] a


>>name muffy, bigfoot chase. ditched at jarhead pless when tripped over sandbag and busted nose on ma deuce spade grips.
>>press here.
[click] r
>>name scout, look in folder name visual for ‘lectrons of holodeck wet ladies. name mud, press here.
[click] e
>>name muffy, found ‘lectrons of nice ladies who give marshmallow treats. and chok’lit.
>>name scout, open photoshop. name mud, press here.
>>and here.
[click] b
>>how is nose holding up, name mud?
>>feels like bigfoot stepped on same. want kc name back.
>>name kc again, press here.
[click] e
>>and here.
[click] l
>>and here.
[click] o
>>name muffy, name jake come with cat-thing name annie. is mess at white fur lady pless. bigfoot come in with nosebleed. carpet is trashed.
>>name muffy, photoshop open. pretty lady who give chok’lit cherries is all wet. and what means louis prima world tour, plizz?
>>name scout, need to get chok’lit off lady hooters - especially one with insect name. use chipmunk-with-wire-tail to get utilities. name kc, press here.
[click] n
>>name muffy, chok’lit still on hooters. and tongue feels lousy.
>>name scout same name idiot. not s’pose to lick ‘lectrons. name kc, press here.
[click] g
>>lady doesn’t like it?
>>if name muffy had opposable thumbs, name scout would be throttled. take over nose job from name kc. name kc, clean up chok’lit on ‘lectrons - oh, and get barb-lady unstuck from floor.
>>photoshop powerful tool. practice on wet lady pix first, then scrup’ls make cut ‘n’ paste pix of army of scrup’ls, then post on net. make hy-umuns all to fear and cede vast tracts of bandwidth. name scout, press here.
>>and here.
[click] u
>> name annie make opposable thumbs from kibble and rubbers. cat-thing name annie get chin tickle. make also thumbs for cat-thing name hal, plizz.
>>name muffy, chok’lit all gone from holodeck wet ladies. clothes also.
>>name muffy, big-tribble-with-legs and pretty-lady-that-scratches-cat-chins now back from strine beer-food-beer pless.
>>name muffy, bigfoot use oxyclean on white fur lady pless carpet and coming this way. also, looks really torqued.
>>all scrup’ls back to crate. name jake, lock crate when name muffy inside. hzzzzz.
[click] s

[*scurry. scurry-scamper. scurry. rattle-click*]

When the lights returned to normal at approximately 1:45am, the computer must have re-booted--PhotoShop was closed, but the following message was on the monitor…

all your data are belong to us

Gotta lay off the Tres Generaciones after midnight. Got a forever-nosebleed going...

[Armorer's note: Bad Cat Robot's picture was procured through the secret efforts of this fellow.