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January 26, 2005

Reader's Choice Caption Contest Poll

Okay, this is the picture:

This will be up top all day. New content below. These are the captions I liked:

Update: This poll is closed!

Choose. Vote early. Vote Often. Well, vote often if you want to go to the trouble of deleting cookies, etc. If there is no clear winner today - I'll select the top 4 and we'll have a run-off tomorrow.

New pic up for ridicule on Friday. Target: Marines. (I wasn't lying yesterday, I just had a good pic drop in my lap this morning)

If you're a caption contest junkie - try Conservative Life today. And there's still time to get into the contest at Outside the Beltway! But don't forget to read the war story down below before you go! Oh, and heck - ya need to read the story Laughing Wolf has at his trackback!

Update: I see a problem with the poll controls. Whoever voted first from Fort Leavenworth, for example, froze out a bunch of other people because of the IP address control.

I'll fix that in the run-off, if there is one. If you only voted once (be honest people) and got told that IP address had already voted, leave a comment and we'll add 'em in.

No shilling. This ain't DU, people!

Update II: Awriiiight here people, get wit da program! Over 500 visitors to the Castle so far today and only 10% of you have voted! I don't charge admission, but I demand obedience! Vote! Pretty please?

John | Permalink | Comments (58) | Shameless Self-Promotion
» The Laughing Wolf links with: A "Short" Caption Contest
» Conservative Life - General Politics links with: Conservative Life Caption Contest #07
» Villainous Company links with: Selected, Not Elected?
» There's One, Only! links with: Caption Contest...
Comments on Reader's Choice Caption Contest Poll
cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 07:07 AM

Judging from the poll result, the ladies are early risers.

Or maybe someone just hasn't gone beddy-bye yet...

Alan briefed on January 26, 2005 09:14 AM

Wouldn't a good one be:

"Wouldn't it be easier, sir, to train regular soldiers to aim lower when required?"

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 09:24 AM

Alan, where've you been the last two days when that comment thread was open to solicitations?

These are the ones in that 140+ comment thread (with many non-caption hijackings) that tickled my fancy and weren't too tied to the snarkery on-going down there.

I'm letting everyone choose from what *I* thought was funny, and regardless of your burgeoning libertarian outlook, I'm not entertaining new entries! Now, be a good, consensus-loving welfare statist (your head will explode someday, if your libertarian bent expands, you do realize that, don't you?) and get with the program!~

Alan briefed on January 26, 2005 09:26 AM

Gee - I just thought I made a funny.

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 09:41 AM

Well, you did. But it might well have made the cut if you'd PUT IT IN THE THREAD!

Alan briefed on January 26, 2005 10:03 AM

You can't judge my art by the calendar!?!? Zoot alors! The muse, she visits at her own whim. I am merely the canvass upon which she works.

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 10:06 AM

(mutter mutter) Emphasis on as...

Oops! How do I tell them the unfreezing process has caused me to speak my inner monologue out loud?

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 10:13 AM

Oh, yeah, Alan - sometimes, discipline is required!

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 10:20 AM

This thread has potential...

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 10:25 AM

Figures you'd chime in after discipline was mentioned. I've seen your basement. Doesn't it leak around the anchors for the chains?

And can't you do better than a cue rack for the whips?

Yer wife sent me the photo... just to shut that angle down! Well, at least she said she was your wife...

AFSister briefed on January 26, 2005 10:28 AM

Sure we went to bed- and then got up early to get the boys up (husbands included), got breakfast, dropped kids off at daycare (and explained why younger child is so freakin' loud today and will ignore you unless you're in his face or tapping him on the shoulder due to a really nasty double ear infection), fought rush hour traffic to get downtown to work, and then frantically turned on the computer to start stuffing the ballot boxes.

Did I give myself away?

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 10:45 AM

Couldn't leave the whips in the floor--the moisture leaking in from the chain anchors mildews 'em. I just store them for the neighbor until he's finished verathaning his rack.
That wasn't my wife. I rented the basement out to the Marine League for a fundraiser a month ago, and she showed up asking for "Sargie." She seemed nice enough so I let her stay--big mistake. She let the scruples out and they ran amok in the family room (don't know if she was with them at the time, but somebody barfed in the corner...

Alan briefed on January 26, 2005 10:57 AM

Hmmm...discipline...I am a lumberjacky Canadian, 2nd gen immigrant from Scots Highlanders, socialist, lawyer, works for government, libertarian, gen x slacker who hit 6'2" at 12 and used to grow most of my own food and brew all by own brew...yah, the generic call to discipline and getting in line...that'll work.

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 11:02 AM

Oy! Next thing we know, Alan will be running around here naked, shaking his blue-painted bum at us yelling "Frreeeeeeeedommmmmm!!!!" Followed with, "Pay yer taxes to support my welfare state or I'll send in the Kops!"

"Freeeeedommmmm!!!!"

"Taaaxxxxxeessssss!!!!"

*pop*

There goes his head.

Alan briefed on January 26, 2005 11:26 AM

Not a bad idea - after all, it was Robbie Burns Day yesterday and I did have my haggis!

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 12:08 PM

How's that ditty go?
"O-o-o-oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm all right..."

John - 450 of those 500 visitors were Cass trying to figure out how to sneak past the RottURLweiler...

Cassandra briefed on January 26, 2005 12:13 PM

That is SO unfair.

I didn't even see the voting thing until just before I posted and linked to this post.

And I only voted once, and not for my own entry. I would never do that. I do have some integrity, you know.

/flouncing away...

spd rdr briefed on January 26, 2005 12:21 PM

When you flounce, do your eyes batt?

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 01:15 PM

Only if she walks between the positive and negative poles and makes contact.

Cassandra briefed on January 26, 2005 01:21 PM

When you flounce, do your eyes batt?

That, good sir, would depend upon the flouncee.

Cassandra briefed on January 26, 2005 01:22 PM

You will notice that I am ignoring the idle chatter from Bill...

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 01:27 PM

I do *so* love a good flounce!

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 01:30 PM

Oh, horsefeathers--needn't be so smug, ma'am. I didn't vote for mine, either.

Nor has anyone else, for that matter.

I think I've succeded in Offending All, Equally--which should earn me a Microscopic Miscreant rating in this voting's ecosystem. Blorp.

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 01:32 PM

John - Take off the dress. You know how Beth gets when you get them all wrinked.

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 01:39 PM

Yeah, nothing peezes her off like a bad wrinking!

SangerM briefed on January 26, 2005 02:59 PM

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 12:08 PM
How's that ditty go?
"O-o-o-oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm all right..."

"O-o-o-oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm Ok, I sleep all night and I work all day..." I have the first few lins in a .wav file.

I like .wav files.

Really.

A lot.

Especially funny ones.

really.

AFSister briefed on January 26, 2005 03:06 PM

"I put on wymens clothing, and dance around all day!"

hahaha

Thanks for your comments on the other post, Sanger. I haven't had time to put together a lucid response yet- I need to re-read your original post and my answer first. lata!

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 03:36 PM

SangerM & AFSis - The w-h-o-l-e song is available at--ummmm--ever seen one o' those Frogstar scoutships from the Doug Adams books?

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 03:52 PM

[dagnab server-burps]

Continued from above: Just trot over to http://frogstar.com/wav/index.asp

Have fun and don't stay up too late.

Throw the triple-dub in and you'll just get ads.

Justthisguy briefed on January 26, 2005 04:00 PM

I can't see the list of candidates. There's just a blank after the colon. Do I need to turn on Javascript [spit] or CSS or something?

Justthisguy briefed on January 26, 2005 04:19 PM

Yep, it was the JavaScript. Sigh. Voted for the "been to sea" one. Sorry, the whisky tends to bring out the smartass in me. Some may have already noticed this.

Beth briefed on January 26, 2005 04:21 PM

I don't know about Cassandra, but when I flounce, My boobs bounce

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 04:36 PM

As I said earlier... I just *love* a good flounce!

Cassandra briefed on January 26, 2005 04:40 PM

Beth, you are a very naughty lady :)

I'm afraid to touch that one on the grounds it may incriminate me...

Cassandra briefed on January 26, 2005 04:43 PM

(I was all set to say mine would never do such a thing, but then I remembered a few oinkish remarks the spousal unit has made lately and decided discretion was the better part of valor...)

Beth briefed on January 26, 2005 05:44 PM

Oh, heck, my boobs have been bouncing since about 1969.

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 07:07 PM

John - Chessboard!

On second thought, trampoline!

And the digital camera...

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 26, 2005 07:13 PM

As many pics as this place has - you don't think I have cameras *everywhere*?

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 07:25 PM

Oh, man--flooding the 'net with photo caption contests! Replacing the A-10 shot in the masthead! Replacing trivets adjuncting logos! The boundless possibilities of--of--of getting our butts handed to us.

BadideaBadideaBadideaBadidea...

AFSister briefed on January 26, 2005 08:19 PM

Beth-
I think I've been bouncing since 1969 too, and I wasn't even born until '67! Tooo funny!

My neighbors have a big trampoline which I refuse to try out on the grounds I may injure myself or others...

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 08:41 PM

AFSis - Now, ya gotta understand that this is nothing personal, okay? Just something I've always wanted to say and never really had the opportunity.

Until now...

"KID, I WAS KILLIN' COMMIES WHILE YOU WERE STILL IN DIAPERS!!!"

I feel much better now. Thank you for not bouncing.

Gratuitous disclaimer: No commies were injured during the production of this comment because I'm deplorably out of practice.

Cassandra briefed on January 26, 2005 08:46 PM

Well darn...

1970 or '71, I think. I'm trying to remember.

AFSister briefed on January 26, 2005 08:53 PM

Happy to help out an old guy, Bill...

I bet you had to walk 10 miles, barefoot, in 3 feet of snow, each way, to the little red schoolhouse too, huh?

Oh, and John, yes I DO know what mimeographs are! We still used them when I was in high school. Remember the smell? And how the paper felt wet when it was a fresh copy? Man, that takes me back!

Cricket briefed on January 26, 2005 09:21 PM

Cass you are SOOOOOOOO wicked...you and Beth. I had a Madelaine Kahn moment in History of the World Part One with the litter carriers when they started jogging...she orders them to stop and why...oh please....

I spit apple juice all over the monitor!

And our socialist lawyer lumberjack who is manly enough to eat haggis! You will find a few braw lassies here, sir!

And yes, I got up early to vote. I get the puter on in the am and sort of leave it on all day, between surfing libraries, books and research with the kids.

Dinner tonight was panang curry with lime leaves
and fresh red and yellow bell peppers over jasmine rice with stir fry vegetables on the side.

dessert? we don't eat no stinkin' dessert! Okay.
brownies. THERE!

And I tried to get a vote in for each comment and it won't let me.

*pouting*


Mythilt briefed on January 26, 2005 09:45 PM

Hey cw4billt, You were killin' commies before I was a scratch in my daddies crotch.

Make you feel younger? ;)

spd rdr briefed on January 26, 2005 10:33 PM

Okay, we've effectively established that when you flounce some boobs may bounce. Is there anything else that will help me distinguish between "flouncing" and merely "bouncing?" As a man, when a woman "flounces," you can be fairly sure that gifts of expensive jewerly can't be far behind. On the other hand, mere "bouncing" might conjure visions of Hellen Thomas on a treadmill. Not a happy thought.
Help me understand.

cw4billt briefed on January 26, 2005 10:39 PM

Mythilt - I suddenly feel older. That panang curry with lime leaves reminds me of something I ate on a five-day Escape and Evasion exercise in the Okeefenokee. I forgot to check the underbeneath of a palmetto stalk and got an unplanned dollop of protein with legs.

AFSis - Not only did I have to walk 10 miles barefoot through three feet of snow, it was uphill both ways. And electricity hadn't been invented yet, so we had to watch TV by candle light. [*dink!* as nose hits screen]

Cassandra - "1970 or '71"--would that be referring to birth-start or bounce-start? [Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-leggo-my-ear]

Gratuitous disclaimer: Contrary to the foul canard posted recently, I did NOT tell John what color dinosaurs really were. Not that I don't know, just that I'm not telling.


Cassandra briefed on January 27, 2005 03:42 AM

Bill, I'm not cagey about my age, I was born in 1959.

And spd, this would not be bouncing of the Helen-Thos.-on-a-treadmill** variety for the following reasons:

1. That would be sick-making
2. Uncomfortable
3. Would not produce the desired effect

Properly used, bouncing-while-flouncing is more of an enticing jiggle, the object being to tantalize the recalcitrant male with a vision of what he cannot have and then snatch it away, hopefully creating in his pea-sized brain the dim thought that if he behaves in future, all sorts of lovely things are possible but, as I have so often remarked, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy..."

**Hmmm... Helen-Thos.-on-a-treadmill -- this could well come to be my favorite oath -- a great substitute for the more profane Christ-on-a-pogostick!, that always makes me laugh, but I won't use

cw4billt briefed on January 27, 2005 06:42 AM

Joint Filing, Dade County, FL and Medford, OR (UPI): In a pre-emptive move following a flounce of e-mails bouncing cross-country, the League of Perky Pulchritudinous Posters announced that, following seventeen recounts, six electronic enhancements and careful scrutiny by a team of professional chad-counters, the real winner of the Argghhh! Caption Poll was Crickassandristerbeth, with her uproarious entry, "[*ethereal stage whisper*] L-u-u-u-u-u-ke. Use the Farce, L-u-u-ke, ya wee bluidy cretin wha' canna hit a bullock i' tha buttock wi' a T-rifle bat. Have a brownie, L-u-u-u-u-u-ke..."

Reaction from Castle Argghhh! is expected momentarily.

Cricket briefed on January 27, 2005 06:48 AM

Helen Thomas on a treadmill is oogie.

But flouncing! Very nuanced. As Miss Cass has pointed out, it is an enticement...and an incentive
for proper behavior on the part of the male.

If aforementioned lady is also truly offended and flounces off, it is a chance for the pea brain
challenged male to follow her, and show her how
tender hearted he is by pretending to listen to
her vent.

Nothing whatsoever to do with the effects of gravity and age, which is what bouncing reveals
and Helen Thomas on a treadmill after a botox
treatment is a case in point.

cw4billt briefed on January 27, 2005 07:26 AM

Not the reaction from the Castle I was expecting (John--they're in the Armory!)...

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 27, 2005 07:43 AM

Then they're cat food. That rending, tearing sound you hear is of the sharp little teeth of the Interior Guard Mount flensing the flesh from their soon-to-be bleached, white bones, which will then be gnawed on by the hounds of the Exterior Guard Mount. Them ain't beef bones scattered 'bout the Inner Bailey of the Castle.

Nope, if they're in the Armory, then tomorrow all they will be is cat poop.

No worries.

cw4billt briefed on January 27, 2005 07:49 AM

Just checked the poll--24 hours, 196 voters and still 0 votes: the only one, too.

My position at the bottom of the food chain is secure. [*sigh*]Back to the muck. Blorp!

AFSister briefed on January 27, 2005 08:44 AM

Bill,
You crack me up!

John of Argghhh! briefed on January 27, 2005 09:06 AM

And it wasn't the color of the dinosaurs (wasn't everything black-and-white back then anyway? You said you gave God the recipe for mud!

cw4billt briefed on January 27, 2005 09:21 AM

Go back. Go 'way, 'way back. Back in time. Back to the e-mail in August you deleted (if you had any sense).

The recipe for mud proved so successful, He's been using it ever since, with no changes. That's why I don't enter the Carnival of the Recipes--no one would ever dream of tampering with the perfection of my

Sorry. I'm chortling too hard to continue...

ry briefed on January 27, 2005 11:37 AM

Flouncing and whips? When did Castle Argghhh! become Castle Anthrax(since we're doing Python)?

cw4billt briefed on January 27, 2005 01:11 PM

Thhhhh-WHAP! Message for you, Joh...