Damn Rednecks. Now they're screwing Hollywood!

(The Armorer can identify with Mr. Incredible's body image issues)

So. Lock up the Kool-Aid and 12 Gauges. The Rednecks are picking on Hollywood again, preferring a cartoon about people who are forced to be mediocre and ignore their talents over a movie about a cute, cuddly, sensitive Lothario who sleeps around.

We had that show already, didn't we? The Clinton Presidency?

Heh. Shoot people, I didn't like the song, either. I much prefer Jude Law as a russian sniper to a cad.

November 8, 2004 Disney and Pixar Score Again as 'The Incredibles' Opens Big By SHARON WAXMAN LOS ANGELES, Nov. 7 - The computer-animated family movie "The Incredibles" struck a resounding chord this weekend, taking in an estimated $70.7 million nationwide.

The latest joint effort from Pixar and the Walt Disney Company, this film tells the story of a family with superpowers forced to live in a society that celebrates mediocrity. It joined a series of other Pixar-Disney releases that have dominated the box office on their opening weekends, including "Monsters, Inc." and "Finding Nemo."

Y'know, coupla Hollywood liberals voiced this; Holly Hunter as Elastigirl and Samuel L. Jackson as Frozone. Wonder if their union cards will get pulled? D'ya even think they noticed the subversive message... or were they just out there to make a house payment? Or are they victims of Karl Rove's nefarious mind control?

"This Disney-Pixar alliance is the most consistently performing relationship at the box office," said Paul Dergarabedian, president of Exhibitor Relations, which tracks box office performance. "They really have it down to an absolute science."

The chemistry between the two companies has proved volatile, though, and their partnership is scheduled to end next year.

Great management decision there, Mouse.

"The Incredibles" did not attract only children. Exit polls showed that 40 percent of the weekend audience was "nonfamily" - adults without children in tow and teenagers - suggesting that the movie might have drawn audiences away from other releases.

Of course, should we trust these polls? Mebbe if we wait, things will get better.

Paramount's "Alfie," a remake of a romantic comedy about a roguish womanizer starring Jude Law, opened to a dismal $6.5 million in more than 2,000 theaters, far below expectations. The tepid response was the latest blow to Sherry Lansing, the chairwoman of Paramount who last week announced her plans to leave the job when her contract expires in 2005, and whose movies have performed poorly this summer and fall.

Wayne Llewellyn, the president of distribution at Paramount, said that the conservative ethos reflected in last week's election results might have hurt the film.

Damn Rednecks. Mebbe you guys should get just funded by the National Endowment for the Arts. That'd show us!

"It could be the mood of the country right now," he said. "It seems to be the result of the election. Maybe they didn't want to see a guy that slept around."

It's a tired idea, dude. You were remaking a movie based on a song from the 60's - that wasn't a very good song (popular, I admit, gee there's no accounting for taste... heheheheheh). This would have been a great film during President Clinton's time. Heck, you should have brought it out during the run-up to the impeachment!

Americans continued flocking to horror movies this weekend, as they have in recent weeks. Sony's surprise hit "The Grudge" took in another $13 million, bringing its three-week total to nearly $90 million.

Having dodged a real horror, we decided to go have some harmless fun, eh? Or, the flip - having caused a real horror - we validated our parking!

The independent film "Saw," about a serial killer who murders people unappreciative of their lot in life, raked in $11.4 million. Financed by two independent producers out of their own pockets, "Saw," released by Lions Gate, cost $1.2 million and has taken in $35.7 million in two weeks.

Lock up the Kool-Aid and Shotguns, sports fans - and guess what, down-in-the-dumps liberals - this movie was not made about you, okay? Just take it one day at a time.

"I took my inspiration from Mel Gibson," said Mark Burg, a producer of "Saw," referring to Mr. Gibson's self-financing of "The Passion of the Christ." Mr. Burg said he and his partner, Oren Koules, were "tired of making movies and watching the studios reap all the benefits; we decided we'd rather not make a movie than make a movie that works and not get paid."

Sounds like an American taxpayer, to me.

The Master and Mistress of Castle Argghhh! look forward to attending this movie when we're both in the same town at the same time, sometime in the near future.