October 21, 2004

I've seen this elsewhere, in a different context...

...probably something to do with Bill Engvall and his "Here's your sign..." line of stand-up comedy. But since I'm with blogfather Jonah in that I don't think we should agressively sign up everybody to vote (making exception for those who are unable to physically get to registration places), I'm of the mind that if you don't know enough about it to get yourself registered, then maybe we won't miss your considered judgement on Election Day...

Mind you, I'm not for making it hard to vote - but I am for making you have to scrape up some effort...

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

...And then she voted.

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week". He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh ... Pacific."

...And then he voted.

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

...And then she voted.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger side door's map pocket.

...And then she voted.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

...And then he voted.

I was hanging out with a conservative friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

...And then she voted.

My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the

To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."

... And then he voted.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," She asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

... And then she voted.

Comments on I've seen this elsewhere, in a different context...
Chuck Simmins briefed on October 21, 2004 11:20 AM

OK, the nose ring one I did not know. Yet I feel highly qualified to vote. Confusing ignorance with stupidity?

Chris Van Dis briefed on October 21, 2004 11:37 AM

I think voting eligability should be drastically curtailed. Starting with the voting age, raise it back to 21 where it belongs. If we don't trust you with a beer, then we can't trust you to vote. Then, voters should have to pass a basic literacy test, as well as a test on American history and government. Morons are poison to a healthy representative republic. I wouldn't be opposed to property qualifications either. A voter should have something to lose to government, not just see more taxes as a way to sit on their butt and receive more benefits. Absolutely no felons voting. This would be a good start anyway.

John of Argghhh! briefed on October 21, 2004 12:22 PM

We've all had those moments, as you just pointed out.

But we also know people for whom most of them apply, much of the time.

I put it up mostly for fun, and slightly to make a point about the wisdom of making sure that 'everybody' votes.

SangerM briefed on October 21, 2004 01:25 PM

And one time I ordered a pint of ice cream at the drive up, and the clerk asked me if wanted the large pint or the small pint.

And another time a clerk at Pizza Hut wouldn't give my friend two different pizzas (he wanted two of the same, minus olives on one) 'cause the deal was for two identical pizzas. So another worker offered to make two pizzas, half&half (minus olives on one side). This was ok with the first clerk....

And another time, I heard one of my tech-support subordinates at an ISP asking a customer what windows were open, and then I heard her say, "No Ma'am, the windows on your computer monitor's screen."

And finally, one of our needy customers (same ISP) insisted loudly that her area code had 5 digits, not 3, and she was certain of this because mail arrived at her house very day with that code on it!

So what? None of this disqualifies a person from voting. Nor should it!

A person can have a decent and correct gut feeling about a candidate without being the brightest bulb in the box. And some of the most educated (and surface-seemingly smart) people I know are dumber than a box of wet dirt, and wouldn't get it right if asked to identify themselves in a mirror!

I do appreciate the idea of a voting test, but I think the test should be things like name the candidates. Name a major plank in his or her platform. Etc.

Just my 3.2%


Casey Tompkins briefed on October 21, 2004 03:06 PM

Actually, that last example is an Engvall; at least, he used it in the Blue-collar Comedy Tour movie. :)

Chris' suggestions are valuable, but (I fear) not practical in today's political climate. If nothing else the lefties will scream racism about any propery qualifications.

I suppose I should add my own contributions. :) A friend of mine who used to work at Computerland a long time ago swears that someone once called his store for help, because the caller couldn't find the key marked "any" on their keyboard.

Another one: I work in restaurant. Several years ago -on a busy Friday night- someone told our fry cook that he had a phone call. He walked off the line for a minute to pick up the phone.

Now, recall that just about every restaurant in the world answers the phone "Hello, (or) Welcome to XXX, how can I help you?"

My friend picks up the phone, asks "Yes?" and the first question the caller (one of his brothers' friends) asks is "Where are you?"

Jerald answered "I'm at work, fool! What do you want?"

Caller responded "What're you doing?"

Jerald rolls eyes to Heaven "I told you, I'm working. What. Do. You. Want?"

"Oh, just wanted to see what you're doing right now."

...And then he voted. :)

Jack briefed on October 21, 2004 10:56 PM

Actually, what's even more frightening is that these folks breed too...

I've been resisting posting something along these lines, because my post isn't funny, it's angry.

Dean Esmay briefed on October 22, 2004 12:33 AM

I have had the "where is the 'any' key?" question. I always calmly say that it's the letter "a" and move on.

My favorite tech support question, always, is this one: "Well it was working yesterday. Why isn't it working today?"

My standing answer: "Most things work until they break." Which tends to fluster them, but what else can you do?

Fred Boness briefed on October 22, 2004 02:35 AM

Delphi polls work. If you ask enough people a question the average answer is pretty close to the true answer.

In this Delphi poll the voters will cover the full range from half wits to those the Brits describe as "too clever by half." All will have a part in choosing a president.

This Great Republic will go on.

Robert briefed on October 22, 2004 05:42 AM

Then again, those who failed to buy ten cases of beer also voted...

John of Argghhh! briefed on October 22, 2004 06:33 AM

Fred's point is well taken, and in fact is how the markets work, in a sense. Which is why semi-free enterprise usually triumphs over state-controlled. And wasn't that essentially one of the underlying assumptions under Admiral Poindexter's terrorism market?

Hell, it can even kinda describe the blogosphere.

Doesn't change my mind, though!

John of Argghhh! briefed on October 22, 2004 06:35 AM

Robert's point is well-made too, with a possible defense of insufficient funds...

RHJunior briefed on October 23, 2004 11:15 PM

So you could afford 2 cases of beer at 20% off, but not 100 cases at 100% off?

*shakes his head*

"And then he voted...."

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