Day By Day© by Chris Muir - Get This Guy Syndicated!

May 07, 2004

Friday Nights comin' - lets celebrate!

A young boy, about 12, opened the door.

"Is yer Pa home?" the farmer asked.

"No sir, he sure ain't," the boy replied. "He went to town."

"Well," said the farmer. "Is yer Ma home?"

"No, she ain't here neither. She went to town with Pa."

"Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?"

"No sir, he went with Pa and Ma."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I kin do fer ya?" inquired the young boy politely. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one; or maybe I could take a message fer Pa."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Pa.
It's about your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "Yep, you would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull
and $25 for the boar hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for

Hat tip to Powers.

Comments on Friday Nights comin' - lets celebrate!
Darrell briefed on May 8, 2004 09:59 PM

I tried e-mailing these jokes to you, but it didn't go thru. So, here ya go:

Hi John,
Your joke about Joe's stud fees reminded me of a few hillbilly jokes I thought you might like:

1. Ma and Pa had gone to market, leaving Jack and Jenny home alone. It were a turrible hot day, so Jenny took off her clothes and laid down on the floor, it were a bit cooler there. Jack thought that were a great idea and did the same. Afore ya know it, they were doing what comes unnatural...

Jenny looked up at Jack and said, "Jack, yore a sight bigger'n Pa, better too!"

Jack smiled down at his sister and replied, "Aw shoot Jenny, that's what Ma always says!

2. Q. What's the definition of an Arkansas virgin?
A. A girl who can outrun all her brothers.

3. A poor farm wife had just had yet another little'un. Desperate to avoid another pregnancy, she asked the ol' country doc what to do. He didn't have a lot of book learnin', but was wise in the ways of the world. He said, "Mabel, when you go to bed tonight, and every night, I want you to put your feet in a ten gallon bucket and keep them there 'til morning."

Mabel went home, but came back a couple months later, pregnant yet again. The doc asked her, "Mable, didn't you do what I told ya?"

She replied, "I tried doc, but we didn't have no ten gallon bucket, so we used two five gallon buckets instead!"

If you liked these, find the book "Pissing In The Snow And Other Ozark Folktales", I forget the author. I hope you enjoyed them, and keep up the
good work!

Darrell Mason
Colorado Springs

John of Argghhh! briefed on May 9, 2004 07:06 AM

Darrel - thanks. Did you remove the DIESPAMDIE from the email address? That's in there to frustrate the 'bots.

Darrell briefed on May 9, 2004 01:33 PM

Hi John,
No, I didn't, and that's why it kicked back to me. I'll remember next time!

Great blog, KUTGW!

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