Teacher! Teacher! There's a fight!

From the Washington Post Playground Beat:

The Dean-Monster is being savaged by the other Dwarfs. When you step back from it, it looks like the set of a 50's-era Japanese monster movie starring Kindergardeners...

Pushing his helicopter beanie back, former Governor Dean, who has recently re-discovered his (small c) christianity in order to appeal to southern voters, is also aiming at the as-yet undecided psychic/carribbean/Chicago vote by appealing to the dead...

'Hey look, somebody's going to have to win here,' " Dean said. He added that "if Ron Brown were chairman, this wouldn't be happening," referring to the late former DNC chairman.

Joe Lieberman immediately moved in for the kill, squeaking, "Oh yeah? Yer momma wears combat boots!"

Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman (D-Conn.) charged yesterday that former Vermont governor Howard Dean will "melt in a minute" under Republican attacks if he becomes the Democratic presidential nominee and said it was "outrageous" of Dean to suggest that Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe step in and shield him from growing criticism by his rivals.

To which Dean responded: "Oh yeah, sez who, punk!" Then, realizing a chance to appeal to veterans, military family members and the new Bejus Pundit Gummi-Trooper segment said, "Yeah, she does! And I'm damn proud of it! And if I was president, she'd get Corcorans and never have to go anywhere bad!"

Lieberman, who has been one of Dean's harshest and most persistent critics, said he found it "stunning" that the former governor was calling for help to fend off attacks after launching the first negative ad of the campaign and after answering criticism "not with substance but with personal insults." Earlier this year, Dean ran the first ad of the campaign that specifically mentioned one of his rivals.

Screwing up his pinched little face, "Little Dickie" Gephardt stepped into the fray with "Yeah, I know she wears combat boots! She has to have me help her lace 'em up after she gets out of my bed!"

Rep. Richard A. Gephardt (Mo.), the target of that ad, yesterday echoed Lieberman, as did Sen. John F. Kerry (Mass.). "Howard Dean has spent the last year criticizing me and other candidates at every opportunity," Gephardt said. "Now, as he makes a series of embarrassing gaffes that underscore the fact he is not well equipped to challenge George Bush, he suddenly wants to change the rules of the game."

The teacher declined to intervene, saying, "No one likes those little creeps anyway!"

Dean spoke with McAuliffe yesterday morning to clear the air. They chatted for about five minutes, according to Dean aide Kate O'Connor, who called the conversation "very, very friendly," but refused to elaborate. DNC spokeswoman Debra DeShong also declined to describe the content of what she said was a private conversation. She offered no indication McAuliffe was prepared to intervene in the escalating fight between Dean and his rivals. "The chairman understands and the message is that politics is a combat sport, and ultimately it's going to be up to the voters to decide what they like and don't like," DeShong said.

Where was Wittle Wesley? He was giving Clinton a hummer, thereby missing out on the fracas.

A far less interesting version of the article is here.